Hot Dog Jokes

He mustard up the courage to ask.

Because you sure know how to make a wiener stand.

After a brief chuckle, the vendor makes the hot dog and gives it to the monk, saying "That will be $4 please". After the monk hands over a $10 bill, he finds himself waiting uncomfortably while the vendor does nothing except stare back at him.

Awkwardly the monk asks "What about my change?" ... read more

Make me one with everything.

They’re in bred

A Brat.

Frank Zappa

(Half of this joke is translated from another language so i don't know if it's as good as the original when told in English)

Two foreigners come to United States for the first time.

They have very little knowledge about U.S. culture,

So they stop at a fast food place.

... read more

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot ... read more

I think they're just offal!

He relished it.

The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if ... read more

Hush puppy!

You pull away his chair

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hot dog. After taking a bite, he waves the bartender over. "Hey, this hot dog is cold!" he complains. "Oh, well then, lucky you," the bartender replies. "You must have gotten one of our special chili dogs ... and hey, for you, no extra charge."

A chili dog

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign for the special of the day: hot dogs -- regular, bun length, foot-long and colossal. "Give me two hot dogs," the guy tells the bartender. "How long do you want 'em?" the bartender asks. "Oh," the guy replies, "I thought I'd get to keep them."

Honey mustard

For some reason Anne's Franks hasn't been very popular with the target audience.

Too many condoments.

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

Hot Dog... Why would the date change anything?

They just felt like nobody would buy the mcweenie

A man set up a hot dog stand across the street from a bank. An acquaintance of his was walking by and approached him.

After a few pleasantries, the acquaintance asked, "listen, I've been going through some hard times, could you loan me some cash?"

"Sorry," said the hot dog seller. "I ... read more

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all," the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up ... read more

Apparently, my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.

To prove he wasn't chicken!

Must-ard!



My 7-year-old hit us with that one and seems to be an original.

Smirking to himself, he says, "Make me one with everything!" before handing over a twenty dollar bill.

The vendor chuckles good-naturedly before doing exactly that, piling a hot dog high with various condiments before handing it over. The man accepts it, but hesitates. "Where's my change?"... read more

They always come in packs

He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him

Hot dog – $2

Cheeseburger – $5

Hand job – $10

He asks the waitress, “Miss are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” She winks and replies, “why yes I am.” He says, “Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

Because the sauce ages

Because it refuses to ketchup.

No, I haven't sausage a place.

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.

So they head to the nearest hot ... read more

A guy orders a hamburger and a hot dog in a run down roadside cafe. The waitress then puts the burger under her armpit.
"WTF are you doing" asks the guy.
"I'm defrosting your burger sir".
"Cancel the hot dog".

He gave the... wurst... answers.

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn't look too good, either.

Deciding he'd better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her ar... read more

Two foreigners arrive in America for the first time, in New York City. They step out into the city and see a hot dog stand. One says to the other "wow - they eat dogs in America? Well I guess we should give it a try". They each get a hot dog and sit down to eat. After a minute of just staring at his... read more

It was crusifried.

You have them because they're there, not because you love them

Wakandaments

She was good looking, but I don't really want a dog.

Chilly dogs.

He didn't know what condoment

The WURST!

When the stranger asks why the French men are doing that, one of them replies,

"We are trying to see who can throw these coins the highest! Whoever wins owes the other a hot dog!"

But suddenly the other French man interjects,

"Wait! I thought we were going off distance, not heig... read more

The bartender says, "We don't serve sandwiches here."

The hot dog says, "That's ok. I came for the roast beef."

They buy two hot dogs wrapped in foil from a street vendor and sit down on a nearby bench, excited to finally try this modern cuisine.

The first girl opens the foil, blushes with embarrassment, and shyly asks the second girl, "What part of the dog did you get?"

His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"

Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"

The mother cam... read more

“You’ve got both your legs, Frank”

“Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.”

-Mitch Hedberg (That 70’s Show)

The vendor drops a kosher beef hot dog into a seed-covered bun and tops it with yellow mustard, chopped white onions, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, relish, hot peppers, celery salt, and black pepper.

The monk hands over a $100 bill and takes the hot dog. The vendor takes the note and sm... read more