Why did Paul McCartney quit the Beatles?

He drank RedBull.

What do both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel have in common?

Both of their last big hits were trees

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Paul was lying in bed with his new Thai girlfriend in a hotel in Pattaya

After having great sex, she spent the next hour playing with Paul's balls - rubbing, stroking and cupping them.



Eventually Paul asks "Why do you like doing that so much?"



"Because I really miss mine."

Racecar backwards is racecar...

but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

“To be is to do”—Socrates. “To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.

“Do be do be do”—King Louie

I forget, with Paul Revere was it 1 if by land, 2 if by sea,

3 if by air?

What did the aluminium say to Paul Simon?

You can call me Al

Selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay ( $100 )

Disclaimer: it's missing a key ( previous owner lost CTRL ).

How does Paul Ryan expect to sell books

without a Spine?

I've known Paul for years

He's always been such a nice guy. In middle school, our teachers would always ask if he finished his homework. Paul would hold up his homework and say yes. During lunch, kids would always ask if they could sit with him, and Paul would say yes. A kid would ask if he's trade his pudding cup for an app...

Never high five jake Paul

He leaves Asians hanging.

About 10 years ago I was lucky enough to interview Sir Paul McCartney

He'd fairly recently got divorced, so I asked him.....

"Paul, do you think you'll ever go down on one knee again?"

He looked at me with a face like thunder and replied.....

"Her name is Heather!"

I never see Paul Walker in big roles anymore

His career really hit the wall.

Bill Gates is having a conversation with Paul Allen.

Bill: "How come Bing failed?"

Paul: "Well, let me Goo..."

Bill: "Never mind."

I added Paul walker on Xbox…

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan Walk Into a Bar

They have a few drinks and then die from methanol poisoning due to a lack of government regulation.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

What is the difference between the Paul brothers and a noose...

None, they both kill people.

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"NSFW" Peter Paul took Peppermint Patty behind the Powerhouse and stuck his Butterfinger up her Cherry Bing.

She let out a Snicker.Nine Mounds later she had a Baby Ruth.

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Why did the coach take Paul Pierce out of the game?

He was in bowel trouble.

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Let us celebrate the birthday of Logan Paul!

april fools you piece of shit

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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.

He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask...

Did you know that Paul Walker had dandruff?

Yeah, no one really knew until they found his head and shoulders in the glove box.

I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a suicide forest

A little upset to find out he came back

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

Jesus is hanging on the cross. Paul is nearby. Jesus calls to Paul

"Paul, come to me please." Paul rushes forward and is immediately beaten back by Roman soldiers. They beat him senseless and leave him in a heap on the side of the road.

Paul awakens to hear Jesus calling again, "Paul, come to me. I need you.". Paul rushes the soldiers and is badly beaten aga...

Never try to hi-five Logan Paul

You won't be the first person he's left hanging.

I just heard Paul Bettany is going to star in a standalone movie for the MCU which will begin filming later this year.

If the rumors are true, we're getting 2020 Vision.

It was socretes who once said "to be is to do" and Jean - Paul Sartre who said "to do is to be"

And finally it was Frank Sinatra who said "do-be-do-be-do"

What did Paul Manafort say when he bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

Paul Revere’s Chicken (OC)

Paul Revere has a chicken named Gallo. When the American Revolution was well underway, he spent several nights training the chicken secretly in his barn. When he finally felt Gallo was ready, he brought it with him to the Sons of Liberty. At first, they laughed.

“Well, now, laugh if you want,...

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks “how are you going to pay for that?”
Peter Paul Rubens says “put it on my tab. I’m baroque.”

Do you guys remember Paul the Octopus?

The one who predicted Spain winning the World Cup some years ago?

Well, a friend of mine told me that if you get hit in the face with the ink of an octopus from there, you can see your future self and predict the future.

I called him out on it at first, but curiosity got the best of me...

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About a decade ago, Pope John Paul was visiting a convent of nuns, Our Sisters of the Immaculate Conception.

The whole place was so excited about his visit.

Mother Kate put Sister Margaret in charge of getting the finest fish for the dinner with the pope.

Sister Margaret took her task solemnly, and went to the market to get the best catch of the day.

“Good morning, sir. I’d like 12 ...

What causes Paul Walker and Microsoft Windows to crash?

Bad drivers

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen died today

Unfortunately ctrl-alt-delete will not bring him back to life.


RIP Paul Allen.

Three men, John, Paul, and Bob live horrible lives and go to hell. When they arrive, a hideously ugly woman appears out of nowhere. Suddenly, a loud booming voice says,

"John! You have sinned! In reparation for your atrocious lifestyle you are condemned to sleep with this woman." With a cry of dismay, John is a whisked away to endure this horrible penance. Suddenly, another even uglier more hideous woman comes forward.

"Paul! You have sinned! In reparation f...

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

"Hello. Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy. She is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a short pause, daddy says: “but honey, you don’t have an uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes, mommy says I do and he is upstairs with mommy in the bedroom right now.”

After a short time, daddy says: “Okay, then this is what I want you t...

What does the E in Logan Paul stand for?

Empathy

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that s...

What is St. Paul's favorite snack?

Minneapples

So, apparently Rand Paul was sucker punched...

So Rand Paul, who happens to be an ophthalmologist, apparently got into a fight with his neighbor, an anesthesiologist. Paul claims he was sucker punched, but neither man was badly hurt.

Does make you wonder, though - an ophthalmologist who didn't see it coming and an anesthesiologist who fai...

[Doctor Who themed] Why was Sylvester McCoy afraid of Paul McGann

Because McGann Hurt Eccleston

I frolic through the woods, Hoping that someone dies, I never act the way I should, What am I?

The answer is Logan Paul

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What's the difference between my PC and Paul Walker?

I actually give a shit when my PC crashes.

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be

Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.

A mom asked her son, "Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?"

He stared and replied, "My name's Paul."

Paul died. Six of his friends carried his coffin.

Paulbearers

After entering a limbo competition, Paul walks into a bar

He lost

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness.

He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."

The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

Stop with the Logan Paul jokes...

It's like beating a dead horse and i don't want to give him anymore video ideas.

So Logan Paul just called out Chris Brown to fight him

Too bad for him Chris Brown doesn't hit women anymore

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So the Deji vs Jake Paul boxing match is this Saturday

And if in the unlikely event of one of them dies,

Logan Paul will be there to record it

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The tale of Paul and Old Joe

There once was a man named Paul who, after some trouble with the law, found himself homeless behind a fast food joint just outside of Wichita, Kansas. He stayed there for a few days, drinking from the bathroom sinks and eating scraps from the trash, when an old rancher named Joe found him and took p...

What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common?

Their careers ended after seeing dead people.

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I like my sex to be like a Jake Paul video.

A quick tease at the start then absolutely nothing for 10 minutes

Somebody should've told Logan Paul the Thai kids in the cave had died.

He would have found them in no time.

Why didn't Jake Paul dress up for Halloween?

He didn't need a costume to go as a failure.

I need to know what did Logan Paul do!

Seriously guys, don't leave me hanging

BREAKING - Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon

He was banned on the run.

Did you know that Paul Revere had sixteen children?

Apparently the British weren't the only ones coming.

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Paul and two other men want to be nuns, but to prove they really all have no sexual desires, they are put in a room naked and bells are placed on the end of their penises...

The most beautiful girl is then brought into the room, completely naked and the test begins.

This goes on for 10 minutes with no reaction from Paul but then the girl comes very close and Paul’s bell rings,

Completely embarrassed Paul bends over to pull up his pants as he is doing that ...

Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together

President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.


When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the m...

Logan Paul shouldn’t go so long without posting a new video

He’s leaving his subscribers hanging.

Seeing Paul Rudd and Tom Holland together really bugs me

Its make my skin crawl

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There's only one Japanese tradition that Logan Paul should explore.

Seppuku.

Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and Donald Trump go out to a bar. Who picks up the tab?

Vladimir Putin

Jean Paul and Jean Pierre are hanging out at the beach.

Jean Paul asks, "hey Jean Pierre, look at all the beautiful ladies here. How do you get them to pay attention to you?"

Jean Pierre says, "my friend, here is a little secret for you. Just take a potato and put it in your speedo, and the women will flock to you."

The next day, Jean Paul ...

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Paul wanted to marry Sophia.

Alas, Sophia preferred men six feet in height, and poor Paul was 9'. (Sophia had weird affinities for six-footers, don't ask me why.) He came to know from his magical friend John that there was a parrot in the middle of the forest who can make a person one foot shorter by saying "no".
Paul encoun...

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