Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan Walk Into a Bar

They have a few drinks and then die from methanol poisoning due to a lack of government regulation.

Why does logan paul never highfive ricegum

He leaves asians hanging

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.

He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask...

I just heard Paul Bettany is going to star in a standalone movie for the MCU which will begin filming later this year.

If the rumors are true, we're getting 2020 Vision.

So i added Paul Walker on Xbox Live the other day.

It's a shame he spends most of his time on the dashboard.

I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a suicide forest

A little upset to find out he came back

Did you know Paul walker had real bad dandruff before he died?

Nobody else knew until they found his head and shoulders in the glove box.

What do Pink Floyd and Paul Walker have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

What did Paul Manafort say when he bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

Do you guys remember Paul the Octopus?

The one who predicted Spain winning the World Cup some years ago?

Well, a friend of mine told me that if you get hit in the face with the ink of an octopus from there, you can see your future self and predict the future.

I called him out on it at first, but curiosity got the best of me...

Jesus is hanging on the cross. Paul is nearby. Jesus calls to Paul

"Paul, come to me please." Paul rushes forward and is immediately beaten back by Roman soldiers. They beat him senseless and leave him in a heap on the side of the road.

Paul awakens to hear Jesus calling again, "Paul, come to me. I need you.". Paul rushes the soldiers and is badly beaten aga...

It was socretes who once said "to be is to do" and Jean - Paul Sartre who said "to do is to be"

And finally it was Frank Sinatra who said "do-be-do-be-do"

What causes Paul Walker and Microsoft Windows to crash?

Bad drivers

A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar

and got kicked out for being 10.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks “how are you going to pay for that?”
Peter Paul Rubens says “put it on my tab. I’m baroque.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

About a decade ago, Pope John Paul was visiting a convent of nuns, Our Sisters of the Immaculate Conception.

The whole place was so excited about his visit.

Mother Kate put Sister Margaret in charge of getting the finest fish for the dinner with the pope.

Sister Margaret took her task solemnly, and went to the market to get the best catch of the day.

“Good morning, sir. I’d like 12 ...

Paul is on his death bed in hospital.

He calls his best friend John to his side and tells him his last wishes.

"All my life, I have had this rare, expensive bottle of whiskey. It means everything to me. It has been passed down through my family for generations. " Paul whispers. "Please John, after I die, sprinkle the whole bottle...

Bridget asks her son Paul, “Paul, would you say I’m pretty or ugly?"

"A bit of both, actually" replies the teenager

"How do you mean that?" asks the puzzled Bridget

"I'd say you are pretty ugly"

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen died today

Unfortunately ctrl-alt-delete will not bring him back to life.


RIP Paul Allen.

What does the E in Logan Paul stand for?

Empathy

[Doctor Who themed] Why was Sylvester McCoy afraid of Paul McGann

Because McGann Hurt Eccleston

Racecar backwards is still racecar

but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

Never try to hi-five Logan Paul

You won't be the first person he's left hanging.

What is St. Paul's favorite snack?

Minneapples

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

Three men, John, Paul, and Bob live horrible lives and go to hell. When they arrive, a hideously ugly woman appears out of nowhere. Suddenly, a loud booming voice says,

"John! You have sinned! In reparation for your atrocious lifestyle you are condemned to sleep with this woman." With a cry of dismay, John is a whisked away to endure this horrible penance. Suddenly, another even uglier more hideous woman comes forward.

"Paul! You have sinned! In reparation f...

Paul died. Six of his friends carried his coffin.

Paulbearers

But Honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul

(Phone rings)

*Pick up*

(Little girl) : “Hello”

“Hi Honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy, she’s upstairs in the room with Uncle Paul”

After a brief pause, Daddy says “But Honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul”.

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upst...

Jesus is on the cross..

..fading fast he yells to his disciple Paul.

"Paul come to me my child. Come to me!"

Paul musters all his strength to break through the crowd.

"Yes my lord, I am coming to you"

Jesus continues to yell for Paul. Paul now crying falls at Jesus feet....

"Yes my lord!...

What does a school cafeteria and the KSI vs Logan Paul fight have in common?

Their beef is fake

After entering a limbo competition, Paul walks into a bar

He lost

I frolic through the woods, Hoping that someone dies, I never act the way I should, What am I?

The answer is Logan Paul

So Logan Paul just called out Chris Brown to fight him

Too bad for him Chris Brown doesn't hit women anymore

So, apparently Rand Paul was sucker punched...

So Rand Paul, who happens to be an ophthalmologist, apparently got into a fight with his neighbor, an anesthesiologist. Paul claims he was sucker punched, but neither man was badly hurt.

Does make you wonder, though - an ophthalmologist who didn't see it coming and an anesthesiologist who fai...

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So the Deji vs Jake Paul boxing match is this Saturday

And if in the unlikely event of one of them dies,

Logan Paul will be there to record it

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that s...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between my PC and Paul Walker?

I actually give a shit when my PC crashes.

Stop with the Logan Paul jokes...

It's like beating a dead horse and i don't want to give him anymore video ideas.

BREAKING - Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon

He was banned on the run.

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness.

He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."

The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be

Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The tale of Paul and Old Joe

There once was a man named Paul who, after some trouble with the law, found himself homeless behind a fast food joint just outside of Wichita, Kansas. He stayed there for a few days, drinking from the bathroom sinks and eating scraps from the trash, when an old rancher named Joe found him and took p...

Did you know that Paul Revere had sixteen children?

Apparently the British weren't the only ones coming.

A mom asked her son, "Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?"

He stared and replied, "My name's Paul."

I am selling Paul Walker's keyboard on ebay, anyone interested ?

I am willing to do a special price, because he lost CONTROL.

Somebody should've told Logan Paul the Thai kids in the cave had died.

He would have found them in no time.

What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common?

Their careers ended after seeing dead people.

I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP

I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Paul and two other men want to be nuns, but to prove they really all have no sexual desires, they are put in a room naked and bells are placed on the end of their penises...

The most beautiful girl is then brought into the room, completely naked and the test begins.

This goes on for 10 minutes with no reaction from Paul but then the girl comes very close and Paul’s bell rings,

Completely embarrassed Paul bends over to pull up his pants as he is doing that ...

Why didn't Jake Paul dress up for Halloween?

He didn't need a costume to go as a failure.

I need to know what did Logan Paul do!

Seriously guys, don't leave me hanging

Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together

President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.


When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the m...

A Mafia leader gets cheated out of $10 million by his bookeeper, Paul.

Paul had been deaf all of his life, so it was assumed he would be perfect for the job. A deaf guy couldn't hear anything that he would have to testify in court, after all.

When the leader found out, he went to confront Paul with an interpreter, one who knows ASL. "Ask him where the $10 millio...

Logan Paul shouldn’t go so long without posting a new video

He’s leaving his subscribers hanging.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There's only one Japanese tradition that Logan Paul should explore.

Seppuku.

Jean Paul and Jean Pierre are hanging out at the beach.

Jean Paul asks, "hey Jean Pierre, look at all the beautiful ladies here. How do you get them to pay attention to you?"

Jean Pierre says, "my friend, here is a little secret for you. Just take a potato and put it in your speedo, and the women will flock to you."

The next day, Jean Paul ...

Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and Donald Trump go out to a bar. Who picks up the tab?

Vladimir Putin

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I like my sex life like I like my Jake Paul videos

A little tease in the beginning and 10 minutes of whole nothing.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Donald Trump, Logan Paul and Hitler are having a discussion.

Hitler: “Which one of us do you guys think is the most hated?”

Logan: “I’ve ruined vine and YouTube and made an ass out of not only myself but my fans as well!”

Trump: “I’ve trolled an entire nation to get to this place and now only half of America loves me!”

Hitler: “Alright wh...

John wanted to kiss a princess, so he asked Paul for help.

Paul agreed, as long as they split the profits. Paul then made an itching powder and put it in the breakfast of the princess. When her mouth itched, Paul declared to the King that John had saliva that possessed healing powers. The King paid John to heal the princess, and John French-kissed the princ...

Paul: A man came by my house today asking for donations for the new town swimming pool.

Anton: How much did you give him?

Paul: One glass.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between Logan Paul and a WW2 US soldier?

One shoots dead Japs and the other shoots Japs dead.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Paul wanted to marry Sophia.

Alas, Sophia preferred men six feet in height, and poor Paul was 9'. (Sophia had weird affinities for six-footers, don't ask me why.) He came to know from his magical friend John that there was a parrot in the middle of the forest who can make a person one foot shorter by saying "no".
Paul encoun...

A joke I heard from my pastor last sunday

A Buddhist, a Muslim and a Christian quarrels over whose god is the most powerful. They eventually decided to have a competition by showing that their god can save them from a grave danger.

So they all went to the edge of a cliff. The buddhist said "I will jump off this cliff but as I call t...

Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling

It's called methead acting

Who is Logan Paul’s favourite actor?

Crisp Rat

I don't know why everyone is so angry at Logan Paul and his crew visiting suicide forest...

...everyone was just hanging around.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How do you know Logan Paul is gay?

Because he likes men who are hung.

Logan Paul...

Certainly started this year off with an absolute hanger of a video!

Banger... I meant banger.

I was watching a baseball game the other day when the pitcher struck out a batter in 3 pitches. The announcer said, "…and he goes down Paul Ryan style". His partner asked, "What makes it Paul Ryan style?" To which he replied…

No balls