What did Frankenstein say the first time he got hard?

its alive!!

Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest

He seriously misunderstood the objective.

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What was Dr. Frankenstein's dog's name?

Scraps

What was Dr. Frankenstein’s favourite hobby?

Bodybuilding...

Why is frankenstein so strong?

He was a professional body builder

Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?

He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.

—my kid neighbor

Frankenstein

Frankenstein decided to enter a bodybuilding class, after the first lesson he found out he seriously misunderstood the objective.

What do you title a book about a Jewish girl brought back to life?

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein

Why didn't Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?

Because he just didn't have the guts to do it again.

What's Frankenstein's favourite part of a company?

Human resources

How does Frankenstein speak?

Frankly.

Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?

At the second-hand second hand store

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

Where did Frankenstein go to get his tattoo done?

Monsters Ink

Why was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?

He couldn’t resistor!

Dr. Frankenstein went to a body-building competition...

There was a terrible misunderstanding.

Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor ae his assistant?

He had a hunch about him

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Why was Frankenstein's monster so pissed off?

You would be pissed too if your nuts were on your neck..

You know, with all his flaws, Dr. Frankenstein was a damn good orator.

He really knew how to bring people together.

Frankenstein's monster was really worried one day

"Pull yourself together", said Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein finally became popular enough in his own right to gain unlimited access to cemeteries and morgues for his creations.

I guess to the Victor goes the spoils.

"ITS ALIVE, ITS ALIVE!!!" - Frankenstein's dream

A necrophilliac' worst nightmare.

How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?

He used his frankincense.

Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body.

It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?

IT’S A LIIIEEEE!!

Doctor Frankenstein created life, via great skill with a surgeon's knife. Igor loved to say, an easier way,

Would have been knocking boots with his wife.

What did the conspiracy theorist say when they saw frankensteins monster?

it’s aLIE!!

What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?

On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

Did you hear about when the Bride of Frankenstein helped him replace a missing neck bolt?

Turns out, all he needed was a big screw.

Why can't Frankenstein have kids?

His nuts are on his neck

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What do you call it when Frankenstein's Monster gets a boner?

A reserrection.

This one time Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest..

His entry left the judges speechless.

I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster...

... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

I saw Frankenstein walk into a body-building competition

He took the name of the competition way too seriously!

People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr Frankenstein.

I’m only trying to make a living.

I went to visit my old friend frankenstein's monster

as we were talking I said, "It's just uncanny, you have your mothers eyes."

he smiled and replied, "yes, but she didn't need them anymore"

My company recently hired Frankenstein’s monster to run our HR department. He’s surprisingly good at it.

Turns out he’s a real people person.

Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster

SparkNotes is knowing that Frankenstein *is* the monster.

Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor.

The real monster is the person who waits for everything to be rung up before they start looking for their debit card.

A man introduces his two kids.

He says, “These are my children, Frankincense and Bob.”

The other man responds, “Oh, I thought the other child would have been named Myrrh.”

The father responds, “Oh no, we get that all the time. You see my wife and I are HUGE fans of particular books and movies so we named them after ...

Why was Dr Frankenstein never lonely?

He was good at making friends.

I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow

It was a terrier bull idea.

Can we Frankenstein Monster a joke?

i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.

People say Frankenstein's monster had a temper,

but actually he was surprisingly level headed.

Someone asked me today, who my favourite body builder is ?

That's easy, Dr Frankenstein.

On a first date

HER: So, are you religious?

FRANKENSTEIN: I'm part Catholic

HER: Oh…your mother or your father?

FRANKENSTEIN: My foot.

Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster?

He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours.

Bodybuilding contest

Frankenstein signed up for a bodybuilding contest,

later to find out...

he was at the wrong place.

An extremely handsome man walks into a bar...

He sits down at the bar and begins small talk with a few girls. He's charismatic and the girls love him. He talks most of the night away. But after a while another man enters. This man is rather ugly. Perhaps even hideous. Like God got drunk and began just throwing mismatched facial features onto an...

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

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I used to love The Village People

until they came at me with torches.

-Gay Frankenstein

Comic-Con Mysteries Panel

A friend of mine went to Comic-Con in San Diego a few years back, and attended a panel on mystery books and movies. Authors and actors there, a large panel, nearly 20 people. Most of the cast of the Sherlock Holmes movies and a few Agatha Christie adaptation were there. One of the audience members a...

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