What did Frankenstein say the first time he got hard?

its alive!!

Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition

He was mistaken.

Whats a smart Frankenstein called?


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What was Dr. Frankenstein's dog's name?


Why is frankenstein so strong?

He was a professional body builder


Frankenstein decided to enter a bodybuilding class, after the first lesson he found out he seriously misunderstood the objective.

Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?

He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.

—my kid neighbor

Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest

He seriously misunderstood the objective.

What was Dr. Frankenstein’s favourite hobby?


Why didn't Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?

Because he just didn't have the guts to do it again.

Did you ever hear about the doctor who was so obsessed with body building that it killed him?

I think his name was Frankenstein.

What's Frankenstein's favourite part of a company?

Human resources

Where did Frankenstein go to get his tattoo done?

Monsters Ink

Dr. Frankenstein went to a body-building competition...

There was a terrible misunderstanding.

How does Frankenstein speak?


Why was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?

He couldn’t resistor!

Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?

At the second-hand second hand store

Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor ae his assistant?

He had a hunch about him

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Why was Frankenstein's monster so pissed off?

You would be pissed too if your nuts were on your neck..

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

Dr. Frankenstein finally became popular enough in his own right to gain unlimited access to cemeteries and morgues for his creations.

I guess to the Victor goes the spoils.

"ITS ALIVE, ITS ALIVE!!!" - Frankenstein's dream

A necrophilliac' worst nightmare.

How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?

He used his frankincense.

What do you title a book about a Jewish girl brought back to life?

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein

You know, with all his flaws, Dr. Frankenstein was a damn good orator.

He really knew how to bring people together.

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?


Doctor Frankenstein created life, via great skill with a surgeon's knife. Igor loved to say, an easier way,

Would have been knocking boots with his wife.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?

On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

Frankenstein's monster was really worried one day

"Pull yourself together", said Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body.

It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

What did the conspiracy theorist say when they saw frankensteins monster?

it’s aLIE!!

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What do you call it when Frankenstein's Monster gets a boner?

A reserrection.

I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster...

... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

This one time Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest..

His entry left the judges speechless.

I saw Frankenstein walk into a body-building competition

He took the name of the competition way too seriously!

People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr Frankenstein.

I’m only trying to make a living.

Why can't Frankenstein have kids?

His nuts are on his neck

My company recently hired Frankenstein’s monster to run our HR department. He’s surprisingly good at it.

Turns out he’s a real people person.

I went to visit my old friend frankenstein's monster

as we were talking I said, "It's just uncanny, you have your mothers eyes."

he smiled and replied, "yes, but she didn't need them anymore"

The Bride of Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein: I took the Bride Of Frankenstein to the Caribbean last month.

Igor: Jamaica?

Dr. Frankenstein: Yes.

Back in their experimental college days, Frankenstein and Count Acula had a brief fling

It was a necromance.

Why was Dr Frankenstein never lonely?

He was good at making friends.

Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster

SparkNotes is knowing that Frankenstein *is* the monster.

I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow

It was a terrier bull idea.

People say Frankenstein's monster had a temper,

but actually he was surprisingly level headed.

On a first date

HER: So, are you religious?

FRANKENSTEIN: I'm part Catholic

HER: Oh…your mother or your father?


Can we Frankenstein Monster a joke?

i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.

Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster?

He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours.

Someone asked me today, who my favourite body builder is ?

That's easy, Dr Frankenstein.

Bodybuilding contest

Frankenstein signed up for a bodybuilding contest,

later to find out...

he was at the wrong place.

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

An extremely handsome man walks into a bar...

He sits down at the bar and begins small talk with a few girls. He's charismatic and the girls love him. He talks most of the night away. But after a while another man enters. This man is rather ugly. Perhaps even hideous. Like God got drunk and began just throwing mismatched facial features onto an...

Comic-Con Mysteries Panel

A friend of mine went to Comic-Con in San Diego a few years back, and attended a panel on mystery books and movies. Authors and actors there, a large panel, nearly 20 people. Most of the cast of the Sherlock Holmes movies and a few Agatha Christie adaptation were there. One of the audience members a...

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I used to love The Village People

until they came at me with torches.

-Gay Frankenstein

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