Why was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?

He couldn’t resistor!

Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?

At the second-hand second hand store

Why can't Frankenstein have kids?

His nuts are on his neck

Igor Frankenstein entered a body building competition.

When he arrived, he realized he misunderstood the objective.

How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?

He used his frankincense.

Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor ae his assistant?

He had a hunch about him

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Why was Frankenstein's monster so pissed off?

You would be pissed too if your nuts were on your neck..

You know, with all his flaws, Dr. Frankenstein was a damn good orator.

He really knew how to bring people together.

What did Frankenstein say to his assistant?

“Hey, can you give me a hand?”

I was helping my grandpa fold some laundry yesterday and noticed something odd. On one shirt he had a silloutte of Sherlock Holmes, on another a picture of Harry Potter, on a third was printed an image of Frankenstein, and on a fourth, a girl who appeared to be Anne of Green Gables.

I asked my grandpa, "Are all these graphic shirts really yours?"

"Yes they are, " my grandpa replied sheepishly "I just can't resist buying novel tees."

Doctor Frankenstein created life, via great skill with a surgeon's knife. Igor loved to say, an easier way,

Would have been knocking boots with his wife.

Frankenstein joined a bodybuilding contest.

He learned that the objective was very different from what he had in mind.

Frankenstein's monster was really worried one day

"Pull yourself together", said Frankenstein

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?

IT’S A LIIIEEEE!!

What did the conspiracy theorist say when they saw frankensteins monster?

it’s aLIE!!

Where did Frankenstein go to get his tattoo done?

Monsters Ink

Dr. Frankenstein went to a body-building competition...

There was a terrible misunderstanding.

This one time Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest..

His entry left the judges speechless.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?

On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body.

It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

My company recently hired Frankenstein’s monster to run our HR department. He’s surprisingly good at it.

Turns out he’s a real people person.

What’s Dr.Frankenstein’s favourite cheese?

Monsterella

Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster

SparkNotes is knowing that Frankenstein *is* the monster.

I went to visit my old friend frankenstein's monster

as we were talking I said, "It's just uncanny, you have your mothers eyes."

he smiled and replied, "yes, but she didn't need them anymore"

I saw Frankenstein walk into a body-building competition

He took the name of the competition way too seriously!

I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow

It was a terrier bull idea.

Why was Dr Frankenstein never lonely?

He was good at making friends.

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What do you call it when Frankenstein's Monster gets a boner?

A reserrection.

Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor.

The real monster is the person who waits for everything to be rung up before they start looking for their debit card.

I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster...

... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

What is Frankenstein's favorite hobby shop?

Build-a-bear

People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr Frankenstein.

I’m only trying to make a living.

The Bride of Frankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein: I took the Bride Of Frankenstein to the Caribbean last month.


Igor: Jamaica?


Dr. Frankenstein: Yes.

Nikolai Tesla and Thomas Edison bring forward their inventions...

Judge: mr. Edison, your lightbulb will be used to light up the world!

But mr. Tesla, your Tesla coil will be used in the background of Frankenstein movies.

An extremely handsome man walks into a bar...

He sits down at the bar and begins small talk with a few girls. He's charismatic and the girls love him. He talks most of the night away. But after a while another man enters. This man is rather ugly. Perhaps even hideous. Like God got drunk and began just throwing mismatched facial features onto an...

What was Viktor Frankenstein's favorite sport?

Body building.

Can we Frankenstein Monster a joke?

i propose we see who can come up with the best joke. we submit a part, someone else adds to it. maybe 3 parts? maybe not? let's see who can come up with the funniest crowd sourced joke.

People say Frankenstein's monster had a temper,

but actually he was surprisingly level headed.

Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster?

He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours.

On a first date

HER: So, are you religious?

FRANKENSTEIN: I'm part Catholic

HER: Oh…your mother or your father?

FRANKENSTEIN: My foot.

A man introduces his two kids.

He says, “These are my children, Frankincense and Bob.”

The other man responds, “Oh, I thought the other child would have been named Myrrh.”

The father responds, “Oh no, we get that all the time. You see my wife and I are HUGE fans of particular books and movies so we named them after ...

Bodybuilding contest

Frankenstein signed up for a bodybuilding contest,

later to find out...

he was at the wrong place.

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

Comic-Con Mysteries Panel

A friend of mine went to Comic-Con in San Diego a few years back, and attended a panel on mystery books and movies. Authors and actors there, a large panel, nearly 20 people. Most of the cast of the Sherlock Holmes movies and a few Agatha Christie adaptation were there. One of the audience members a...

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I used to love The Village People

until they came at me with torches.

-Gay Frankenstein

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