UPJOKE
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Exempt Jokes

I heard the atheists are trying to get tax exempt status now

they are a non-prophet organization

The government denied tax exemption for my church that believes Jesus spoke with a lisp

It was a real slap in the faith

Catholics have been lobbying for vaccine exemptions

Because theres nothing more catholic than someone else dying for your sins

I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine.

Apparently being a republican isn’t an acceptable medical condition.

Did you know that Athiest organizations are tax exempted?

Its because they're non-prophet organizations.

What’s the difference between churches and cults?

Tax exempt status

The Alabama legislature didn’t include an exemption for cases of incest in their abortion ban.

They knew that if they had the law would only have prohibited 5% of Alabama pregnancies from being aborted.

My wife Emily and I have a celebrity exemption rule for extramarital affairs.

Evidently she thought it included the actor playing George in the local production of "Our Town."

Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season?

Because it is just as real as the other religions.

I courteously opened the door for a woman to come out, but she got really mad

Apparently there is some sort of changing-room exemption, and now I'm banned from Forever 21.

Did you know that you don't pay taxes on flatbreads if they have a picture of Mohammed on it?

That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2...

Thirty children dead after their school mandated they wear bulletproof vests to prevent shootings.

Swimming lessons should probably have been exempted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Updating a classic for modern times [long]

When the news of covid hit Tammy said "I don't need to worry, God will protect me."


Well when lock downs started Tammy said "I don't need to worry, God will protect me". And she continued to see her friends, and be rude to restaurant staff when she got take out and show up to places tha...

Have you heard of the group that worships Mother Theresa?

It's a nun prophet organization.






I thought of this while thinking of tax exemptions for religious groups, hopefully no one has posted it here already :)

Why doesn't Santa pay taxes?

Generations ago, when Santa's grandparents were in charge of the gift-giving industry, the North Pole was starting its population boom. Consequentially, the North Polish government decided they should tax these new and future residents to keep the nation afloat. But as Santa's grandparents had been ...

Cows & politics

***SOCIALISM***

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

***COMMUNISM***

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

***FASCISM***

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

***BUREAUCRATISM***

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns approach the pearly gates of heaven..

..and are met by Saint Peter. He says to them, "Welcome, chaste ones. Thank you for your many years of sacrifice in the service of God. Heaven awaits you."

The nuns, assuming they are exempt from judgement, continue to the gates. "Ah, ah, ah," Saint Peter says. "First, you must confess. Tell...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

love your Mum

The other night I went out with my work friends without telling my wife .. I thought I would only have one drink but then one drink became two and then three and then you know how it goes .. I arrived home around 3am stumbling in through our front door trying not to make a noise .. I made myself a h...

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