A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all." the woman replied.

The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a...

A buddha puts a hotdog stand and gets a customer...

"I want one with everything!" says the guy to the solemn looking monk. With ceremonious presicion and speed the guy virtually assembles the hot dog with all the sauces, condiments and extras in mid air.

Within seconds he hands the hotdog to the baffled guy. "That'll be 5 dollars sir."

I was eating a hotdog the other day and when I took a bite ketchup squirted in my eye.

Now I have heinzsight

What’s the best way to enjoy a hotdog?

Relish it.

What did the Zen monk say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

What do you call man in a hotdog bun?

An inbread.

Why Are Hotdog's called Weiners?

Because they got first place.

My little nephew wanted to share a joke he was very proud of coming up with: Why did the hotdog get grounded?

It was being a brat!

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What did a hotdog say when it had to go to the bathroom?

Must turd

What do you call two hotdog buns from the same bakery?

-What do you call two hotdog buns from the same bakery?


How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?

He mustard up the courage.

Why do all hotdogs look the same?

Because they are in bread.

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2 Drunks and a Hotdog

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first drunk says, "Hey, I've got an idea - we put our money together and buy a hot dog."

The second drunk, looking at him puzzled, says, "W...

What do you call a hotdog that has had it’s insides removed?

A Hollow-wienie

What does a hotdog call his wife?

Honey bun.

*As told buy my 7 year old.*

How did the hotdog get the job despite having a criminal record?

It was a misde-wiener

My uncle Hans (a hotdog lover) has been very ill recently. Last night, craving a hotdog, he went on a drive to the nearest hotdog stand. Sadly, as he was driving, he became even more unwell...

...he took a turn for the wurst.

Why are German hotdogs the most controversial?

It’s because they make the best and the wurst ones

I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs.

I choose to relish the moment.

What's the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?

You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October

One hotdog says to another, “You been to that German night club yet?”

“Nah, too krauted.”

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I dreamed that my friend Dietrich was shoving hotdogs up my ass

It was my wurst nightmare

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

I just dented my meat...

Opened the freezer door too fast and the hotdogs flew out onto the floor.

Some people hate hotdogs.

I relish them

An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.

The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.

When the hotdog is served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.

The American asks, “What’s wrong?”

The Chinese Man replies, “When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body. No...

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Foreigner buys a hotdog

A man from overseas comes for a vacation to the United States for the first time with his cousin. One day, while walking through the park they see a food cart with the word "Hotdogs" on the side. Since the man had never had a hotdog before, he decides to wait in line to buy one. When it's his turn t...

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Why are vaginas like hotdogs?

Because when you think about what goes into them, you want to quit eating them.

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What do you call a hotdog made out of chicken?

A cock.

When I was a kid I could go to the store with only $5 and come home with bread, milk, hotdogs and my favorite candy. You can't do that these days...

Too many damned security cameras.

Why do Germans fear getting cheese in their hotdogs?

Because for them it's considered to be a Wurst-Käse scenario.

A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar..

The bartender immediately tells them "I'm sorry but we don't serve food here."

I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.

I'm on a roll.

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What do dung beatles like on their hotdogs?


What did the American hotdog say to the German hotdog?

you’re the wurst

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

My girlfriend asked me if hotdogs were good for her diet

I replied, "They're not the wurst"

Did you hear about the incestuous hotdogs?

They say they're in bread.

How does a ghost eat a hotdog?

By goblin it.


A guy claims to have made a 20 lb hotdog

A butcher says “ah, that’s bologna”

why aren't hotdog ads allowed in nascar?

because no-one else would be able to ketchup

Damn Girl, you should sell hotdogs.

Cause you make my Weiner stand.

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A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

Despite this being an overused statement, the vendor serves him a hotdog as he is a customer. When the monk asks if he has 27 cents, the vendor replies "Change comes from within."

The monk then pulls out a pistol from his robe and shoots the vendor. Aft...

Why did the family get lost on the way to the hotdog stand?

They took a turn for the wurst.

Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog?

It was an Oscar Wiener

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand.

And he says to the server "make me one with everything."
The guy obliges, and hands him a fully loaded hot dog.
The Buddhist pays with a twenty, and doesn't get any change back.
He asks the stand keeper for his change, and the man responds with "change comes from within".

What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog?

Anne Frank's

I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place

It's called "What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"

I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.

They even had a shift differential!

After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.

I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was....

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Hotdogs made of monkeys

So there was this butcher, who had a machine that turns monkey into hotdogs he used to sell them as regular hotdogs and no one ever doubted it, but the man never make more than one monkey a day that was his secret .

One day the man went on a trip and left his son at his shop before he went he...

Computer! What's the difference between a human and a hotdog?

Beep boop boop... Processing...

Grilled some hotdogs and offered my friend one

He said, "No thanks, I'm Jewish."

I said, "Don't worry, they're free."

My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000

The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

It's not a real hotdog without ketchup.

That's how my father describes menstruation.

I want to start a kosher hotdog company

And call it Anne Franks...

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Apparently, men think about sex every seven seconds...

I make sure I eat my hotdogs within 6 seconds so it doesn't get weird.

I like to name my hotdog "The Moment"...

...so I can relish it

Man walks to library

He goes up to the librarian, : "can i have an hotdog?"
Librarian: "sorry sir but this is a library."
Man: "oh sorry!

"Says quietly": "can i have an hotdog?"

Sorry for bad english

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Translated joke from a south Asian language.

I tried my best. I'm pulling this from memory. Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. Enjoy!

> The cops arrest a truck driver for running over 50 people. They take him to the interrogation room and start questioning him. After a ...

Two poor men dream of going to America

They hear of American food and how great it is and, in particular, the hotdog.

So they work hard and save their money for many years before finally traveling to America. Upon arriving, they immediately run off the boat and to the nearest hotdog stand. Eagerly, they throw their money at the st...

What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

Who was the first carpenter mentioned in the bible?

Eve. She made Adam's hotdog stand.

JOKE from my 7 year old

Guy 1 -"Sir do you have any hotdogs?"

Guy 2 - "No why?"

Guy 1- "Then why is your dog on fire?"

Guy 2 - "WOT O.o"

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Prisoners escape, end up at old ladies house... With a twist.

These 3 prisoners escape from jail and ran to the nearest house. They knock on a door and a sweet old lady walks out.

Lady: Hello

Prisoner 1: Lady please let us inside. PLEASE.

Prisoner 2: There are cops are outside searching for us.

Lady: Well ok, only on one condition.<...

"Dad why did you and mom name my sister Rose?"

Dad: "because your mother loves Roses"

Son: "oh, ok, thanks Dad"

Dad: "No problem Costco Hotdog"

Thought I’d try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.

Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.

As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, “Which part of the dog did you get?”

Grandpa and Grandma are sitting on a bench in the park

they hear the jingle of the icecream salesman.

Grandma says : "I'd like some vanilla icecream."

Grandpa says: "Good idea, I'd also like some chocolate icecream".

Grandma stands up and says: "I'll go get some."

"You should write it, Grandma, you know your memory is not wha...

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:

* Nachos $4

* Hamburger $3

* Hotdog $2

* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3

* Grilled Cheese $2

* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50

* Handjob $10

After he looks over the menu for a mome...

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One day while at the farmers market a man came upon a cart with a sign that read “Magic Apples”

He asked the farmer what could possibly be magic about apples. The farmer handed him a fruit and said try it. After taking a bite the man said to the farmer, “It’s a fine apple, but still just an apple.” To which the farmer replied “Turn it over”. The man turned the apple over, took another bite, an...

"Did you just say something?"

"Uhhh nope?"

"Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."

"No I didn't."

"Good, because I'm vegan."

She had a yeast infection so bad

I stuck a hotdog up her and it came out a corn dog.

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