UPJOKE
hot dogwienerfrankfurterfrankweeniewienerwurstsausagesandwichcheeseketchupdogchickenred hotfrankfurtvienna sausage

Hotdog Jokes

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all." the woman replied.

The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Drunks and a Hotdog

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first drunk says, "Hey, I've got an idea - we put our money together and buy a hot dog."





The second drunk, looking at him puzzled, says, "W...

How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?

He mustard up the courage.

What do you call man in a hotdog bun?

An inbread.

What does a hotdog call his wife?

Honey bun.

*As told buy my 7 year old.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Foreigner buys a hotdog

A man from overseas comes for a vacation to the United States for the first time with his cousin. One day, while walking through the park they see a food cart with the word "Hotdogs" on the side. Since the man had never had a hotdog before, he decides to wait in line to buy one. When it's his turn t...

An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.

The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.

When the hotdog is served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.

The American asks, “What’s wrong?”

The Chinese Man replies, “When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body. No...

What’s the difference between franks and a hotdog?

You can be frank, but you cannot be a hotdog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do prostitutes not eat hotdogs?

They have been taught not to bite

What did the American hotdog say to the German hotdog?

you’re the wurst

How does a ghost eat a hotdog?

By goblin it.

Sorry

How did the hotdog get the job despite having a criminal record?

It was a misde-wiener

Why are hotdogs so truthful?

they’re quite frank

Three bald men are shopping for hotdogs. Which one used to be blond?



The one in the pet store.

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.

So a Buddhist goes to a hotdog stand.

And asks the server to "make me one with everything"

I just saw two hotdogs and a burger stumble out of a club, blind drunk and blazed on coke and weed. I was disgusted...

I hate to see food wasted like that. Frugal upbringing.

What's the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?

You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October

Why are German hotdogs the most controversial?

It’s because they make the best and the wurst ones

My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000

The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hotdog sucks

Al and Bob, two drunkards with no money came up with an idea to get drunk. Al says “Let’s go to the bar and order couple shots and as soon as we get our shots we slam them. I’ll unzip my pants and hold this hotdog, then you jump on your knees and start sucking on it. When the bartender sees us he’ll...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are vaginas like hotdogs?

Because when you think about what goes into them, you want to quit eating them.

Did you hear about the incestuous hotdogs?

They say they're in bread.

Some people hate hotdogs.

I relish them

why aren't hotdog ads allowed in nascar?

because no-one else would be able to ketchup

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Translated joke from a south Asian language.

I tried my best. I'm pulling this from memory. Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. Enjoy!

> The cops arrest a truck driver for running over 50 people. They take him to the interrogation room and start questioning him. After a ...

I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs.

I choose to relish the moment.

What did the Zen monk say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Two hotdogs are walking down the street

One suddenly turns to the other and says, "Mike! Your wiener is showing"

A hotdog walks into a bar

the bartender says, “we don’t serve food here.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did a hotdog say when it had to go to the bathroom?

Must turd

A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar..

The bartender immediately tells them "I'm sorry but we don't serve food here."

A guy claims to have made a 20 lb hotdog

A butcher says “ah, that’s bologna”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

Despite this being an overused statement, the vendor serves him a hotdog as he is a customer. When the monk asks if he has 27 cents, the vendor replies "Change comes from within."

The monk then pulls out a pistol from his robe and shoots the vendor. Aft...

The average hotdog machine will have 547,500 wieners in it and catch 4,277 gallons of juice in its trap during its lifetime.

Just like your mother.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hotdogs made of monkeys

So there was this butcher, who had a machine that turns monkey into hotdogs he used to sell them as regular hotdogs and no one ever doubted it, but the man never make more than one monkey a day that was his secret .

One day the man went on a trip and left his son at his shop before he went he...

One hotdog says to another, “You been to that German night club yet?”

“Nah, too krauted.”

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand.

And he says to the server "make me one with everything."
The guy obliges, and hands him a fully loaded hot dog.
The Buddhist pays with a twenty, and doesn't get any change back.
He asks the stand keeper for his change, and the man responds with "change comes from within".

What do you call a hotdog that has had it’s insides removed?

A Hollow-wienie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do dung beatles like on their hotdogs?

Mus-turd

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dreamed that my friend Dietrich was shoving hotdogs up my ass

It was my wurst nightmare

I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.

I'm on a roll.

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

What happens when you turn flying mammals into hotdogs?

Things go from bat to wurst

Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog?

It was an Oscar Wiener

Computer! What's the difference between a human and a hotdog?

Beep boop boop... Processing...

Man walks to library

He goes up to the librarian, : "can i have an hotdog?"
Librarian: "sorry sir but this is a library."
Man: "oh sorry!

"Says quietly": "can i have an hotdog?"




Sorry for bad english

Damn Girl, you should sell hotdogs.

Cause you make my Weiner stand.

My girlfriend asked me if hotdogs were good for her diet

I replied, "They're not the wurst"

It's not a real hotdog without ketchup.

That's how my father describes menstruation.

I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place

It's called "What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"

Why did the family get lost on the way to the hotdog stand?

They took a turn for the wurst.

What's a Jew's favorite brand of hotdog?

Anne Frank's

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

Grilled some hotdogs and offered my friend one

He said, "No thanks, I'm Jewish."

I said, "Don't worry, they're free."

I like to name my hotdog "The Moment"...

...so I can relish it

What is the difference between a sausage in a bun and Pacman?

One's a hotdog and the other's a dot hog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Men think about sex every seven seconds...

That's why I eat my hotdog within seven seconds before it gets weird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hot Dog Episode

Two drunks were sitting on a street corner wondering if they should buy a beer with their last dollar. One of the drunks suggested that they buy a hotdog. The other started bitching, complaining that he couldn't drink a hotdog. The other drunk told him his idea.

"What we do is buy a hotdog, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother has Tourrete's and it makes it very hard for him to find a job.

I feel so guilty because I'm the one who told him the worst word he could say was "fuck."

If I told him "hotdogs" was the worst he'd be working at Yankee Stadium.

Two nuns and a dog!

Two nuns walk into a diner to try hotdogs for the first time ever. The first nun opens up her bread, see what’s inside and throws the meat away! She looks at the second nun and asks ‘What part of the dog did you get?’


*Im sure this is an old Readers Digest joke

"Did you just say something?"

"Uhhh nope?"

"Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."

"No I didn't."

"Good, because I'm vegan."

What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's boy's night and Ronnie comes up with a plan....

for them to get free beers all night long and it worked too. Ronnie and Matt get so hammered that the next day Matt hardly recalled the night before. Ronnie reminded him that the plan was to go to each bar, drink all they could and then Ronnie would whip out a hotdog from his pant zipper and Matt wo...

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a mome...

Father and his special daughter are driving back to her mom's.

Father drives past a sign "7/11"
Daughter yells with excitement "Hotdog! Ice-creams"
Father says " ok we can get a hotdog"
He stops at the 7/11 walks in with the daughter and she yells to the clerk " Toilet ! Hotdog ice cream!" They clerk quickly hands her the bathroom key as the father che...

What did Alex say to his college roommate to get him to stop working on his college essay and come out for hotdogs

Relish today...

And Ketchup tomorrow

Two dogs meet at a dog park

Very excitedly, the collie asks the poodle: "Heys. You wanna hear a joke? I just made this up at the hotdog stand waiting with my master.".

The poodle smiles: "Sure thing, shoot."

The collie smirks his eyes and proudly tells his joke: "How many dachshunds does it take to make a hotdog?...

I want to start a kosher hotdog company

And call it Anne Franks...

When I was a kid I could go to the store with only $5 and come home with bread, milk, hotdogs and my favorite candy. You can't do that these days...

Too many damned security cameras.

Two poor men dream of going to America

They hear of American food and how great it is and, in particular, the hotdog.

So they work hard and save their money for many years before finally traveling to America. Upon arriving, they immediately run off the boat and to the nearest hotdog stand. Eagerly, they throw their money at the st...

A Buddhist goes to a hotdogvender.

He asks him: "Make me one with all"


After the vender give the Buddhist his hotdog, the Buddhist gives the vender 20$. The vender puts it away and goes on with his business.
The Buddhist asks: "and my change?"

The vender replies: "change comes from within"



Credit t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so homophobic,

I eat my hotdogs sideways.

Who was the first carpenter mentioned in the bible?

Eve. She made Adam's hotdog stand.

What do you get when you put a chicken, a cow, and a pig together?

A hotdog.

"Dad why did you and mom name my sister Rose?"

Dad: "because your mother loves Roses"

Son: "oh, ok, thanks Dad"

Dad: "No problem Costco Hotdog"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.