Warning.... Dad Joke: What was Lloyd cited for?

Lloydering.

A patient was going to the hospital one day to get his surgery.

Doctor: Calm down Bob, this is your first surgery

Patient: Haha... Well thanks for being concerned but this is actually my third surgery and no, my name is Lloyd not Bob

Doctor: No, I am Bob.

A restaurant owner wouldn't serve Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, or Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I never expected to see such EGOT-ism in this day and age.

What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater?

Gee, you knit?

My grandpa Lloyd was 5'5", and his brother Chris was 6'3". When they were growing up...

...and it became clear that they were going to have a significant difference in their heights, Lloyd asked Chris if he was doing anything special to become so tall.

Chris leaned in close and quietly said, "It sounds silly, but every night before I go to bed, I sneak into the pantry, take a ha...

Reasons for speeding

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.

"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

Did anyone see the new Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels movie last night?

Dumb and Dumber III: Lloyd and Harry Run for President.

What famous humanoid robot wrote Phantom of the Opera?

Android Lloyd Webber

A Woman Goes To Buy A Parrot

A woman goes to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper brings her three parrots to see.

"This parrot is a marvel. It toured with the Royal Shakespeare Company. It can recite any play by Shakespeare on command, doing different voices for each part. It's yours for only $200"

"That's amazing, but I...

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