Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne is giving a press conference before their voyage to the sun ...

Lloyd: By our calculations we will land on the sun in the middle of winter

Harry: oh and we will make sure it’s nighttime for extra safety

A restaurant owner wouldn't serve Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, or Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I never expected to see such EGOT-ism in this day and age.

What did 50 Cent say when Lloyd Banks gave him a new sweater?

Gee, you knit?

My grandpa Lloyd was 5'5", and his brother Chris was 6'3". When they were growing up...

...and it became clear that they were going to have a significant difference in their heights, Lloyd asked Chris if he was doing anything special to become so tall.

Chris leaned in close and quietly said, "It sounds silly, but every night before I go to bed, I sneak into the pantry, take a ha...

A Woman Goes To Buy A Parrot

A woman goes to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper brings her three parrots to see.

"This parrot is a marvel. It toured with the Royal Shakespeare Company. It can recite any play by Shakespeare on command, doing different voices for each part. It's yours for only $200"

"That's amazing, but I...

The taxi driver

A British and a United States Architects arrived at Soekarno-Hatta International Airport in Jakarta Indonesia for a Building Convention.

They knew each other, arrived at about the same time, planned to stay at the same hotel, and they have both been to Indonesia before, so they agreed to shar...

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