The 71+ Best Formula Jokes

Florida governor Ron DeSantis is apparently reviewing the future of Formula One in Miami

The Drag Reduction System is not what he thought it was.

The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983..

I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."

So here goes:

Walk forwards.

Turn left.

Pasteurization.

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There's actually a mathematical formula to describe all the Republicans lining up to pretend like the January 6th attack didn't happen.

It's called the Fibbing Nazi Sequence.

I calculated the solution for the baby formula problem, but I got it upside-down.

58008.

A 100 year old man who lived next to a Formula 1 track all his life got interview by the local news

Reporter: "100 years is a long time, has this place had an affect on your life in any way?

The old man scratched his head and took a minute to think and said:

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".

(Works better when you tell it lol)

Last night I dreamed I was driving a Ferrari in the Formula 1 championship race...

I was fast, asleep.

What do you call a formula that can predict Al Gore's dance moves?

An Al Gore Rhythm algorithm.

A scientist cannot tell the formula for Nitrogen Oxide.

All of them say NO. Weird.

What is the chemical formula for Holy Water?

H2OMG

I asked my chem teacher wether he knew the formula for nitrous oxide

Unfortunately he said no

EDIT:

for the people complaining about how i messed up the formula name, its a joke, it doesnt matter

Teacher: Mark, tell me the chemical formula of water

Mark: It's H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O

Teacher: That's not correct. How did you think of that?

Mark: You said it was H to O.

You could say the formula one this year has been...

A Masi-cre

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Every guy tells you they have an 8 inch Dick. It makes sense when you realize the formula they use to calculate it.

8==D

If H2O is the formula for water....

... What is the formula for ice? H2O cubed

Do you know the difference between twelve-year-old scotch and baby formula?

No? Then you're sure as hell not babysitting for my kids!

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A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

Formula for water

Chemical formula for water

The teacher asked, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
A student raises his hand and answers, "HIJKLMNO!"
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on earth are you talking about?"
Student answers, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

I once knew a Formula 1 driver who had a day job trucking donkeys.

He was never a good driver, but he hauled ass!

Racism in Formula 1

Every day they make Sergio Perez put on a nomex suit. Why is no-one complaining about this ?

Credit: A co-worker.

The formula for bleach is NaOH

Ha, I just lyed to you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that my Head & Shoulders shampoo's proven HydraZinc formula fights dandruff from the first wash, removing visible flakes and residues, relieving dryness and tight scalp, and leaving my hair smelling great.

I also learned not to forget my phone when I take a shit

Did you hear about the new drum beat formula that’s trying to fight climate change?

It’s called an AlGoreRhythm.

What do you call someone who disproves a formula

A Mathemortician

What did the tired TI-84 say to the integration formula?

Meh, I’ll calc you later.

Formula one drivers stay healthy

Because they breakfast

Did you hear about that Formula 1 Driver that died in the hospital?

After seeing his family, he took a turn for the worst

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

A Brundle of Laughs - Formula 1 Joke

What did Guenther Steiner say to his boss after Kevin Magnusson ran wide at turn 3 and skidded onto an eggplant?

I’m afraid it’s Aubergine

What is the best liquor for watching Formula 1?

Rrrrruuummmmm

Who was the Arab that derived the quadratic formula?

Al Gebra

If I love Formula 1 and hate NASCAR...

Does that make me a race-ist?

Hallmark movies have formulaic plots, two-dimensional characters, and half the bad guys want to sell some piece of land...

...it’s basically “Scooby-Doo!” for sentimental grown-ups.

I sang the quadratic formula to my gf

I found 'x'

My ex-girlfriend said she liked Formula 1 but not NASCAR

I just can’t be in a relationship with someone who’s raceist

The FIA will be introducing a new series of Grand Turismo races with zero emission fuel cell vehicles cleverly called Formula Zero,

or GTF0.

What's the formula for octopus circumference?

octopi*r2

Of course it should really be octopods*r2

Chemistry teacher: “can you give me the formula for water?”

Student: “h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-.” Chemistry teacher: “where did you get an idea like that?” Student: “you told us the other day it was h to o.”

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Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering...

I wish there was a formula to make friends.

The squadratic formula.

One dark night in Dublin, a fire started inside the local chemical plant . . .

In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the...

I got beaten up by a Jewish guy at a Formula one circuit today

I only said that I was a part of the Mazda race

What do you call an issue with the graph of a quadratic formula?

A parabolem.

I asked a guy if he knew what the chemical formula was for Sodium Bromate...

He said NaBrO3

Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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A fat man wants to lose weight...

A fat man is looking for a way to lose weight. He has already tried all kinds of slimming diets and fitness programs, but they didn't work for him. One day, he comes across an ad that says: "New revolutionary method - weight loss 100% guaranteed. Satisfied or your money back!"
He thinks: "Since ...

A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life.

...... He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses Grant.

After application, Gen Grant began to move and soon was completely alive.

The scientist asked, "What's the first thing you'll do, General?"

The general answered while drawing his pistol "I'm going ...

What is the best formula for leaving Auschwitz?

Lenght of chimney x wind speed

What kind of car racing comes from Mexico?

Formula Juan

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A Scientist, Mathematician, and an Idiot are in a car. Crashing into a tree, all three die. They are sent to purgatory, where the Devil is waiting.

(Of course, the idiot was driving)

"Unfortunately, since heaven is quite full at the moment, I am only going to allow one of you in," the Devil says. "Whoever can ask me a question that I cannot answer correctly will be admitted into heaven. The rest will go to hell."

So the scientist ...

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says "I'll have some H20."

 

The second scientist says "I'll have a glass of water, too. But really? Why did you say H20? Like I get that it is the chemical formula for water and all, but it is the end of a really stressful day at work and there's real...

Chemistry jokes

1. Did you hear about the chemist who got cooled to -273.15°C? He's 0K now.

2. What's the most electronegative state? Fluorida.

3. Wanna hear a joke about sodium bromite? NaBrO

4. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses here!" H...

A collection of humorous anecdotes from the world of education

>TEACHER: Maria, please can you find North America on the map.
>
>MARIA: Here it is.
>
>TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
>
>CLASS: Maria.

>TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? ...

A middle schooler raises their hand

They ask can you tell me the nitric oxide formula

Then the professor says NO

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"How can you watch porn but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula 1 whole weekend but still happily drive my 2010 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips

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A shepherd was herding his flock

in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how
many sheep you have in your flock, ...

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Two people make a bet..

Long
(this is a translation from another language)
In the Royal court of King Akbar, there were two exceptionally skilled men, Birbal known for his wits, and Tansen known for being the best singer.
So one day Birbal was bragging about how smart he was, then Tansen challenged Birbal that if...

They say live fast, die young

But ESPN keeps rejecting my pilot episode of Baby Formula 1 Racing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mathematician, and Physicist, and an Engineer

are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.

The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so they measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.

The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an o...

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How does an Alchemist prostitute earn his pay?

Elixir formula.

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

Ball volume

A mathematician, scientist, & engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a ball

The mathematician derived it using a formula given the circumference

The scientist measured the displaced volume when submerged in water

The engineer found the model # ...

What is a videogame people have been waiting forever and devs never seem to release the sequel?

Formula 1

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which hole?

One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. A philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot.

At the pearly gates, St. Peter told them that heaven is pretty crowded right now and that they have to past a test in order to gain admittance. He pointed to Satan who happens to be standing beside him and sa...

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.

Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was talking to his therapist about finding the right woman. A man was sitting in his therapist’s office telling him about how he finally managed to find the right woman, after a whopping 3 divorces.

He says, “well the first wife was quite the fireball and we had good chemistry, but she was a fitness instructor and during sex always yelled ‘HARDER! STRONGER! KEEP UP THAT HEART RATE!’ and at some point I just couldn’t keep up... so we split.”

“Well,” said the therapist, “what about the sec...

What do you feed a baby parabola?

Quadratic Formula

A dairy farmer walks in to his feed store and asks the clerk, "Has your product recently changed?"

"Same formula for two decades now" replies the clerk. "Why do you ask? Your cattle not eating?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that their flatulence has become unbearable. It used to not bother me, but it's got to the point that I can't even be in the barn without wearing a respirator."
<...

Wet joke

It was chemistry class and the teacher asks-

"Can anyone tell me the chemical formula of water?"

Little Timmy raises hand.

"Yes, Timmy?"

"Hijklmno"

A journalist tries to find out how different professions deals with basic math.

So he asks them a simple question: "How much is 1+1?"

The mechanical engineer quickly opens a handbook and say, the handbook says 2, let's make it 3 just in case.
The physicist starts scribbling and after 5 minutes say it's between 1.95 and 2.05 within 3 sigma confidence level.
...

One professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home broke down.

He called a plumber. The plumber came on the next day, sealed a few screws and everything was working as before.

The professor was delighted. However, when the plumber gave him the bill a minute later, he was shocked.

"This is one third of my monthly salary !" he yelled.

Well, a...

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