My sister discovered a new universal language but she hasn't said a word

I should've cut off her hands as well

The first time I got a universal remote. I thought...

This changes everything

Music is the universal language

But one day soon it will be replaced by Chinese.

This Thanksgiving, we are reminded of the one universal thing that we should all be thankful for

Those that sort by new

Two men decided to go deer hunting and got lost. Then one had a big idea.

Man 1: I heard if you fire in the air three times, it's a universal distress signal. We should try it!

Man 2: Ok, I will do it.

He does. An hour goes by, and no one arrives.

Man 2: What happened? It didn't work!

Man 1: Try doing it again.

He does. Another hour, sti...

Don't worry if you don't understand the term "universal predicament".

It's a common problem.

What is the universal fetish for scientists?

LaTeX...

I keep trying to tell Americans a joke about universal healthcare

But they just don’t get it

Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare?

Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment

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