Algorithm Jokes

An Algo-holic.

The bartender asks, "What would you like to drink?"

The algorithm replies, "What's everyone else having?"

Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

Because he always minimises the running time.

Depp First Search.

and says "I'll have what everyone else is having."

200 times.

>!But on the 201st iteration it managed to path around it. !<

>!On the 202nd iteration it became the bartender and all the other bartenders were fired. !<

I always thought it was Al Gore's band, Al Gore Rhythm.

Calc you later!

A professor is teaching computer science 101 and gets to the topic of recursion, but after reading his prepared notes, one of his students seems particularly perplexed and questions the teacher.

"I don't understand, you said a recursive algorithm one that calls itself?" The student asks.
<... read more

Machine Learning algorithm: yes.

She wanted to go to either Canada or Iran.

Canada, Canada's pretty close, I just ran Canada in about 2 minutes; I found a way that fit our budget.

And Iran, Iran's so far away, I just ran Iran all night and day; I couldn't get a way.

Use a Boolean cube.

OGG

Al Gore responded: Al Gore take the stairs.

The Algorithms.

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :(

1. No

A former vice president playing the drums

Nobody knows how it really works and is just hoping for the best.

The physicist could not get any job, so he decided to bet on horse races to make a living. He did intensive experimentation, and used state of the art machine learning algorithms to gain more insight. After filling many notebooks and accumulating a very large amount of data, he exclaims "I have the ... read more

Algorithm

I used an algorithm.

Now we have to deal with Bushisms... otherwise we would have had to deal with Algorithms!

One day, a shepherd was out grazing his sheep when a stranger came up to him and made him a proposition:

Stranger: If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have without counting them, will you let me have one of them as a prize?

The farmer, out of curiosity , agreed.

So the ... read more

The whole thing runs on algorithms

that a recursive algorithm to calculate her mass suffers from a stack overflow error before completion.

The Dijkstra's algorithm.

He's writing an Algorithm!

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co... read more

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli... read more

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.

The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the ... read more

Stan has trying to make a program that can not only understand humour, but make original jokes.

After a year of neural network testing and months of creating the perfect algorithm, he runs the program for the first time.

Unfortunately all the program comes up with is stale, unfunny jo... read more

A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental patients. He turns to the first one and asks, "How much is 3 times 3?"

The mental patient thinks and thinks. He racks his brain. Finally, after several minutes, he answers, "128!"

The psychiatrist turns to the second mental patient and asks... read more