Maths Jokes

I'd have $6.30 right now

The answer is 5!

Because her algaebra didn't hold up.

"Watch this," he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two, "
And the dog barked ten times.
"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "
And the dog barked twenty times.
"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "
"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding t... read more

Because they multiply by dividing.

I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan

An "algae bra"

Mean

The rest 37% are dumbasses though

Teacher: "Ok, Jimmy. If I gave you two cats and another two cats, how many cats would you have?"

Jimmy: "Five!"

Teacher: "No, Jimmy. Let me ask you another way. If I give you two apples and I give you another two apples, how many apples would you have?"

Jimmy: "Four!"

Tea... read more

That's what I call a significant figure.

Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.

So I did a 360 and left.

A boy was always getting low grades in maths and his parents were getting worried. After 3 tests with continuous F's, they decided to send him to a Catholic school due to the high success rate in maths.

After the boys first day of school there, he got home and ran straight to his room without... read more

Because they help with division.

Student: How much is remaining, sir?

Teacher: it's last 20, be quick.

Student: 20 what? Apples?

So the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

It's called, "Making The Little Things Count."

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’
After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’
‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s ... read more

A man is walking home when he stumbled upon an old lamp by the trash, seeing that it’s still presentable, he decided to rub some of the dirt off of it. A cloud of smoke began seeping through the lamp and a Genie appeared before him.

“Thank you for freeing me, I am a genie and I shall grant yo... read more

unless you Count Dracula

Because he was kung-fused.

Half of me doesn't and the other half thinks, what use is it anyway?

Because they have word problems

But divisibility by 2 makes me even number.

One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic. "What's wrong?" asks e^x. "There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"

"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hur... read more

It has lots of problems

*Johnny counts on his fingers....*

Johnny - FOUR, miss?
Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...
Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?

*Johnny fumbles around..*

Johnny - SIX, miss?
Math teacher - yes, that's right..but... read more

Yeah |ly|

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

The average maths joke is pretty mean

but I’m 2² to say it

Because the teacher said they will be learning about Ratios.

They say it’s the first sine of madness