My maths teacher screamed at me for my math average
This farmer was telling me about how good his sheepdog was at maths
"Watch this" he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two?" And the dog barked ten times. "OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four?" And the dog barked twenty times. "He's very good" I replied "but he's a little over." "Yeah" answered the farmer "old habits die hard, he's just rounding them up."
Why are Chinese kids so good at maths?
Because their dog doesn't eat their homework
As an atheist I find tell my maths teacher I shouldn't have to solve exponential factors
because I don't believe in higher powers
I failed Maths so many times in school,
I can't even Count.
A maths professor was struggling to teach his student the first 10 numbers of pi.
So he started singing a song which was meant to teach people about the numbers of pi. The students were intrigued by this mesmerizing little poem, and by the end they had learned the first 10 digits of pi.
Next, the teacher asked each one to write down the first 10 digits onto a sheet of pape...
A boy was always getting low grades in maths...
A boy was always getting low grades in maths and his parents were getting worried. After 3 tests with continuous F's, they decided to send him to a Catholic school due to the high success rate in maths.
After the boys first day of school there, he got home and ran straight to his room without...
Tony did all he could to avoid maths & decided to study Botany.
He later became famous for discovering that discarded tree trunks emit a regular pattern of sounds & is now focused on calculating the sounds.
After avoiding maths, he still ended up in a career solving Log rhythms
Why are the Chinese the best in the world at maths?
Because under communism, everything is equal
Why was maths always easy for the romans?
Because x was always 10.
What does the little mermaid wear to her maths classes?
I failed my maths exam because I stupidly went to the pub before it.
Don’t drink and derive, it’s not worth it.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A young boy says to his father "Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you."
"What happened?" The father asks.
"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'
"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''
The next day, the boy comes home from sch...
How do cows do Maths?
They use a cowculator.
Maths is fun
One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic. "What's wrong?" asks e^x. "There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"
"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hur...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A maths teacher’s sexual fantasy?
I used to hate maths when i was a kid
But as you get older you realise that decimals have a point
Just because I like Maths doesn't mean I'm good at doing it
Same goes for women
I had a date with a maths teacher and she told me to get there at ten past one.
So I got there at eleven but she wasn't impressed.
My friend told me to post a joke about maths so here’s one for you.
I showed my friends a pen cannon I made in maths class,
My teacher called it a weapon of math disruption
A man is walking home when he stumbled upon an old lamp by the trash, seeing that it’s still presentable, he decided to rub some of the dirt off of it. A cloud of smoke began seeping through the lamp and a Genie appeared before him.
“Thank you for freeing me, I am a genie and I shall grant yo...
Some first year uni students come home in the holiday for a surprise maths test of 'What's 2 + 2?'
The engineer says 'well it's 3.75, but given the situation we can round it to 5'
The mathematician goes and works for a while, then comes back saying 'I don't know what the answer is, but I know one exists'
The astrophysicist says 'rounding to the nearest million the answer would be 0'...
My maths professor got fired last week...
he was caught deriving under the influence.
I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.
It's called making the little things count.