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A young boy says to his father "Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from sch...

Maths teacher - Johnny, what's 2+2?

*Johnny counts on his fingers....*

Johnny - FOUR, miss?
Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...
Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?

*Johnny fumbles around..*

Johnny - SIX, miss?
Math teacher - yes, that's right..but...

Why did the maths priest cross the road?

He needed to get away from the house of sin.

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The son of a bitch

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...

"2+5, the son of a bitch is 7"

"3+6, the son of a bitch is 9"

His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"

"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"

Mom: "Is t...

What did the science book say to the maths book

Wow you’ve got problems!

My angry egghead maths teacher hit his head on a rock today.

I think he finally cracked...

If I had 50c every time I failed a maths test...

I'd have $6.30 right now

I had a combined class of philosophy and maths today......

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"

Do you know why I hate Maths?

It keeps asking me to find my Ex.

I left school with two qualifications 'Maths' and 'Woodwork' and i walked straight in a job..

Making rulers...

Why did the girl wear glass only during the maths class?

To improvise d-vision.

My maths tutor told me to get to his house at ten past one.

So I turned up at eleven but the place was empty.

I have a maths joke

but I’m 2² to say it

What's the difference between maths and philosophy?

Maths needs pencil, paper and eraser.
Philosophy needs just pencil and paper.

When I was young, I brought a pie to the USA, a pie to Russia, and a pie to North Korea.

All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.

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Maths is like sex..

.. If they're under thirteen just do them in your head

Just been sacked from my dream job as a maths teacher. Been there since 2010

What a waste of 15 years!

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