UPJOKE

sciencearithmeticmathematiciangeometrycalculusalgebranumbermathematicsmathematicallogicnumber theorytrigonometryengineeringphysicsbiology

The answer is 5!

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from scho...

"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from scho...

It was because nobody could solve all its problems...

(Inspired by the original Maths book having problems joke)

(Inspired by the original Maths book having problems joke)

I would have £3.57 right now

Because they help with division.

Because he was kung-fused.

Half of me doesn't and the other half thinks, what use is it anyway?

Student: How much is remaining, sir?

Teacher: it's last 20, be quick.

Student: 20 what? Apples?

Teacher: it's last 20, be quick.

Student: 20 what? Apples?

It's called, "Making The Little Things Count."

You see X and wonder Y

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

So I rang them up and said, "The answer is £5,000." Stupid fucks.

So I did a 360 and left.

Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.

Because the teacher said they will be learning about Ratios.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Testicles :)

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Sex is like math

Add the bed

Subtract the clothes

Divide the legs and hope you don't multiply

Add the bed

Subtract the clothes

Divide the legs and hope you don't multiply

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s becaus...

They say it’s the first sine of madness

Because they have word problems

unless you Count Dracula

But im 2² to say it

I am the other 13%

He told me to stand in the corner.

Because the coner is 90 degrees

Because the coner is 90 degrees

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight."

His mum overhears this and is shocked! she says to him, "What are you doing Johnny?"

Johnny replies, "I am just doing my maths homework."

" And is this is how your teacher taught yo...

His mum overhears this and is shocked! she says to him, "What are you doing Johnny?"

Johnny replies, "I am just doing my maths homework."

" And is this is how your teacher taught yo...

Yeah |ly|

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

It has lots of problems

But divisibility by 2 makes me even number.

*Johnny counts on his fingers....*

Johnny - FOUR, miss?

Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...

Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?

*Johnny fumbles around..*

Johnny - SIX, miss?

Math teacher - yes, that's right..but...

Johnny - FOUR, miss?

Math teacher - yeah, that's right. But you are counting on your fingers...

Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's 3+3?

*Johnny fumbles around..*

Johnny - SIX, miss?

Math teacher - yes, that's right..but...

"Watch this," he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two, "

And the dog barked ten times.

"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "

And the dog barked twenty times.

"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "

"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding t...

And the dog barked ten times.

"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "

And the dog barked twenty times.

"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "

"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding t...

A boy was always getting low grades in maths and his parents were getting worried. After 3 tests with continuous F's, they decided to send him to a Catholic school due to the high success rate in maths.

After the boys first day of school there, he got home and ran straight to his room without...

After the boys first day of school there, he got home and ran straight to his room without...

Because her algaebra didn't hold up.

The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.

What’s a snake’s favourite subject at school?

Hisssss-tory!

Although some do enjoy maths too… especially the adding!

Hisssss-tory!

Although some do enjoy maths too… especially the adding!

My main take away is that you have to move with the times

Mean

I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"

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