I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

An engineering student, a geometry major, and a star basketball player are trapped on a desert island

They’re debating how to get off the island or get rescued. The engineering student looks around and sees only a few palm trees and some coconuts.

“We need to cut down the trees and make a raft to sail away on.” He says and starts designing.

“We need a basketball to pass the time.” Th...

How does a geometry teacher drink beer?

From pint A to pint B.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aaron is in geometry class. His teacher is yelling at him because he’s wearing AirPods while the teacher is talking. In the middle of his rant, Aaron says “You’re such a square!”

The teacher says “prove it”.

What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem?

Let’s try a different angle

Just flew in from the Geometry convention.

Boy are my planes tired.

Why is North Korea so good at geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler!

Did you hear about the geometry teacher who left his parrot’s cage open?

Polygon.

Geometry teachers are oddly obsessed with communism

they are always talking about marks and angles

Why did the police catch the murder of the geometry teacher?

They investigated it from all angles

I was going to make a geometry joke, but when I made it it fell flat

I guess it was too plane. Back to square one

I found geometry tough to learn

It was an all around problem for me.

Why was Yoda bad at geometry?

Because to him there are no triangles, only do-or-do-not-angles

Why does Marx like geometry so much?

Because of all the ENGELS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was Osama bin laden kicked out of geometry class.

He kept blowing up the pentagons.

Call me geometry...

Because when I become difficult, guys cheat on me.

What’s a geometry teacher’s favorite drink?

Ovaltine!

My 7 year old made this one up today. Thanks, grandparents!

Tinder is simple geometry

If you have good lines you'll get good curves

I've got a fetish for geometry.

Sorry, I'm getting off on a tangent right now.

Without geometry...

Life would be pointless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Math teacher went nuts today in Geometry class and started ranting about Japan, Italy, and Germany.

He said we need to know about the ex axis.

I don't understand why we study circles in geometry.

They're pointless.

A schoolmate paid me today, after I'd been helping him with geometry for a year...

We're square now

I never took geometry in high school

I heard it was for squares.

Geometry is the work of satan.

It makes people sin.

I wanted to do geometry with my parrot...

Then I remembered that polygon :(

Why was the geometry teacher late for work?

Because she took the rhombus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke I made up in geometry class...

Hi, my name is A, and this is my brother, B. Unfortunately, we live on the same plane, and we constantly tell our parents we do not like this situation.


We are coplanars.

What do you call a person who likes geometry and farming?

A pro-tractor!

Who's in charge in the land of geometry?

The rulers.

Worst Geometry Joke I Know

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?

When it is intercepted by a plane.

How is communism like geometry?

It's really all about Engels and most people only ever think of marks.

Why are farmers so good at geometry?

They’re protractors

Why do churches hate geometry?

There are alot of sins involves

I just finished up my spherical geometry class

Dunno why I bothered, there's literally no point.

The best geometry joke I know...

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.


The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each w...

Geometry class brought out the worst in me...

I used to go off on tangents.

My wife's friend had a baby...

She posted a picture on Facebook and my wife commented "Aww, what a little angle." I replied to my wife's comment "Ya, she's pretty acute."
I felt like a tremendous nerd for even thinking of a geometry joke, but ya...

Geometry professor goes into a tattoo shop and asks to get π on his back.

After a few hours he asks the tattoo artist, "Why is it taking so long to do the symbol for pi?" "Oh!" said the artist, surprised. "You wanted the *symbol*."

Rick is sitting in his bar in Casablanca, enjoying the sublime beauty of geometry...

He raises his glass and says, "Here's looking at Euclid."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer, an architect and a mathematician are all in the dog park with their dogs.

The mathematician walks up to the other two and says check out what my dog can do and throws a handful of jellybeans in the sand and snaps his fingers. His dog pushes them into a perfect circle and he says, look a perfect circle, that’s geometry and that’s math.

The architect says oh yeah wat...

I need help with my geometry homework

it said to draw 2 planes intersecting 2 buildings.

One day a teacher asked her students to use geometry in a sentence

The teacher was baffled that nobody could come up with just one sentence, and finally asked one quiet student in the back to say one... The student looked at her and said:

Once there was a little acorn and it was planted in the ground and grew and grew until one day he awoke and said "gee I'...

Girl, forget chemistry, you and I have solid *geometry*

Because our points are maximally separated, and it’s perfectly platonic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a girl that can table dance infinitely due to unusual geometry infinitely due to unusual the geometry

A Mobius stripper

An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...

I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why doesn't Hitler like geometry?

Because he's anti-symmetric.

Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie?

It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle.

Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful.


[self made joke]

What type of math do earthworms excel at?

Annelidic Geometry

I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher...

Because I want to make at least 6 figures.

I'd like to teach under-privelaged kids lattice geometry

Nothing would give me more pleasure than getting at-risk youth hooked on crystal math.

**EDIT** I'm terribly sorry for misspelling under-privileged

I have dabbled in Cartesian coordinates...

but vector geometry is where I draw the line.

Leonardo da Vinci's father is at "meet the teacher day".

He meets the maths teacher and asks "Hello mifter, how if my fon doing in your claff?"

The maths teacher ignores that slightly odd way of speaking of Leonardo's father and says, "your son is terrific, he's clearly a genius, you've got to see some of the stuff he's done in geometry."

An...

“I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week.” Said my neighbor Mike.

Mike: “For example, do you know who Euclid is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the father of geometry. If you take night courses you would know this.”

The next day the same discussion took place:

Mike: “Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the...

Geology rocks, but geography is where it's at..

And geometry's a cute one too.

What did the oak tree say to the math professor?

Geometry.

I was fine with my earlier math classes,

but geometry is where I draw the line.

A British fellow just doesn't understand why people like cricket.

He tries, he tries so hard. He knows it's his national sport. He also doesn't care much for football and rugby, and always feels left out at the pub. Then one day, he comes in early for a pint, and there's this strange game on the screen. "What's that game up there, Albert?" Albert looks baffled, "w...

A panicked mathematician rushes into his professors’s office...

The professor looks up in shock from his work to see one of his students slamming a high school geometry textbook on his desk.

“What’s wrong?!” exclaims the professor.

“They’ve updates the syllabus,” the mathematician replies.

The professor, still confused, watches the mathemat...

God and his 2 omnipotent friends are deciding how they should make their new world,

When trying to decide what to add to their world God's first friend says "We need to create a large strong animal that can pull around our people's machinery and that they can ride long distances to save their legs"

"Don't worry" said God "I have just the thing from the last world I made, the...

There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...

An Arkansas farm boy goes off to college...

When he comes home for vacation, Maw and Paw are glad to see him. That night at the dinner table, Paw says, “So, tell me, son, what are you studyin’ in that there college?”

The son says, “All kindsa stuff, Paw. F’r’example, I’m takin’ a course in Geometry.”

Paw says, “What kinda stuff ...

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