UPJOKE

### Why is North Korea so good at geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler!

### In a place without geometry...

...life is pointless.

### Call me geometry...

Because when I become difficult, guys cheat on me.

### Geometry teachers are oddly obsessed with communism

they are always talking about marks and angles

### In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23 degree angle.

She then drew a 67 degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing." and the second one chimed in "And I love what you've done with your hair."

The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Why was Osama bin laden kicked out of geometry class.

He kept blowing up the pentagons.

### What did the linguistics professor fail Geometry?

He was really bad a translating!

Polly gone.

### How does a geometry teacher drink beer?

From pint A to pint B.

### I was going to make a geometry joke, but when I made it it fell flat

I guess it was too plane. Back to square one

### I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

### I've got a fetish for geometry.

Sorry, I'm getting off on a tangent right now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Erectangle

### Why does Marx like geometry so much?

Because of all the ENGELS

### Geometry is the work of satan.

It makes people sin.

### Just flew in from the Geometry convention.

Boy are my planes tired.

### I found geometry tough to learn

It was an all around problem for me.

### Tinder is simple geometry

If you have good lines you'll get good curves

### What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem?

Let’s try a different angle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### We're not getting anywhere in geometry class.

It feels like we're going in circles.

### Why was Yoda bad at geometry?

Because to him there are no triangles, only do-or-do-not-angles

### Why was the geometry teacher late for work?

Because she took the rhombus.

### Worst Geometry Joke I Know

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?

When it is intercepted by a plane.

### Turns out geometry is actually easy...

This is shaping up to be a better school year than I thought it would be

### Why did the police catch the murder of the geometry teacher?

They investigated it from all angles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A joke I made up in geometry class...

Hi, my name is A, and this is my brother, B. Unfortunately, we live on the same plane, and we constantly tell our parents we do not like this situation.

We are coplanars.

### An engineering student, a geometry major, and a star basketball player are trapped on a desert island

They’re debating how to get off the island or get rescued. The engineering student looks around and sees only a few palm trees and some coconuts.

“We need to cut down the trees and make a raft to sail away on.” He says and starts designing.

“We need a basketball to pass the time.” Th...

### What’s a geometry teacher’s favorite drink?

Ovaltine!

My 7 year old made this one up today. Thanks, grandparents!

### Why do churches hate geometry?

There are alot of sins involves

### What is the definition of "geometry"?

It's what the little acorn said when he grew up ..."Gee! 'I'm a tree!"

### I wanted to do geometry with my parrot...

Then I remembered that polygon :(

### I don't understand why we study circles in geometry.

They're pointless.

Polygon.

The rulers.

### How is communism like geometry?

It's really all about Engels and most people only ever think of marks.

### I never took geometry in high school

I heard it was for squares.

### The best geometry joke I know...

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What do you call a girl that can table dance infinitely due to unusual geometry infinitely due to unusual the geometry

A Mobius stripper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What's a porn star's favorite geometry term?

Cir "cum" frence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Why doesn't Hitler like geometry?

Because he's anti-symmetric.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### My Math teacher went nuts today in Geometry class and started ranting about Japan, Italy, and Germany.

He said we need to know about the ex axis.

### Why are farmers so good at geometry?

They’re protractors

### I need help with my geometry homework

it said to draw 2 planes intersecting 2 buildings.

### I just finished up my spherical geometry class

Dunno why I bothered, there's literally no point.

### Geometry class brought out the worst in me...

I used to go off on tangents.

A pro-tractor!

### Little Johnny was sitting in Geometry class

The teacher asks the class: "If a whale is swimming in the ocean at 314 miles per hour and the ocean impales it with a harpoon, what is the mass of the whale?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says "That's impossible! What do you mean the ocean impaled it?"

"Well, it doesn't r...

### Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.

A master angler.

### Back at school, I had a weird geometry teacher.

He had warts all over his nose, and they had to remove a bit of his face due to an accident. You could say he had an...

Irregular sir face.

### Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Aaron is in geometry class. His teacher is yelling at him because he’s wearing AirPods while the teacher is talking. In the middle of his rant, Aaron says “You’re such a square!”

The teacher says “prove it”.

### Rick is sitting in his bar in Casablanca, enjoying the sublime beauty of geometry...

He raises his glass and says, "Here's looking at Euclid."

### Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie?

It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle.

### I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus…

…but geometry is where I draw the line.

### Girl, forget chemistry, you and I have solid *geometry*

Because our points are maximally separated, and it’s perfectly platonic.

We're square now

### I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher...

Because I want to make at least 6 figures.

### I'd like to teach under-privelaged kids lattice geometry

Nothing would give me more pleasure than getting at-risk youth hooked on crystal math.

**EDIT** I'm terribly sorry for misspelling under-privileged

### Geometry professor goes into a tattoo shop and asks to get π on his back.

After a few hours he asks the tattoo artist, "Why is it taking so long to do the symbol for pi?" "Oh!" said the artist, surprised. "You wanted the *symbol*."

### What type of math do earthworms excel at?

Annelidic Geometry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Little Jimmy comes home from school with a black eye

Mom says, “Jimmy! What happened?!”

Jimmy says, “I was attacked in geometry class.”

“It was a vicious circle.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A lawyer, an architect and a mathematician are all in the dog park with their dogs.

The mathematician walks up to the other two and says check out what my dog can do and throws a handful of jellybeans in the sand and snaps his fingers. His dog pushes them into a perfect circle and he says, look a perfect circle, that’s geometry and that’s math.

The architect says oh yeah wat...

### One day a teacher asked her students to use geometry in a sentence

The teacher was baffled that nobody could come up with just one sentence, and finally asked one quiet student in the back to say one... The student looked at her and said:

Once there was a little acorn and it was planted in the ground and grew and grew until one day he awoke and said "gee I'...

Geometry.

### An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...

I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

### My friend asked me “did you get a hair cut?”

I said “no I got a lot of them cut”

Credit to my geometry teacher for the joke

### I have dabbled in Cartesian coordinates...

but vector geometry is where I draw the line.

### My wife's friend had a baby...

She posted a picture on Facebook and my wife commented "Aww, what a little angle." I replied to my wife's comment "Ya, she's pretty acute."
I felt like a tremendous nerd for even thinking of a geometry joke, but ya...

### Leonardo da Vinci's father is at "meet the teacher day".

He meets the maths teacher and asks "Hello mifter, how if my fon doing in your claff?"

The maths teacher ignores that slightly odd way of speaking of Leonardo's father and says, "your son is terrific, he's clearly a genius, you've got to see some of the stuff he's done in geometry."

An...

Geometry.

### Geology rocks, but geography is where it's at..

And geometry's a cute one too.

### I was fine with my earlier math classes,

but geometry is where I draw the line.

### There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...

...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.

T...

Geometry dash

### “I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week.” Said my neighbor Mike.

Mike: “For example, do you know who Euclid is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the father of geometry. If you take night courses you would know this.”

The next day the same discussion took place:

Mike: “Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?”

Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the...

### A panicked mathematician rushes into his professors’s office...

The professor looks up in shock from his work to see one of his students slamming a high school geometry textbook on his desk.

“What’s wrong?!” exclaims the professor.

“They’ve updates the syllabus,” the mathematician replies.

The professor, still confused, watches the mathemat...

### An Arkansas farm boy goes off to college...

When he comes home for vacation, Maw and Paw are glad to see him. That night at the dinner table, Paw says, “So, tell me, son, what are you studyin’ in that there college?”

The son says, “All kindsa stuff, Paw. F’r’example, I’m takin’ a course in Geometry.”

Paw says, “What kinda stuff ...

### A British fellow just doesn't understand why people like cricket.

He tries, he tries so hard. He knows it's his national sport. He also doesn't care much for football and rugby, and always feels left out at the pub. Then one day, he comes in early for a pint, and there's this strange game on the screen. "What's that game up there, Albert?" Albert looks baffled, "w...

### God and his 2 omnipotent friends are deciding how they should make their new world,

When trying to decide what to add to their world God's first friend says "We need to create a large strong animal that can pull around our people's machinery and that they can ride long distances to save their legs"

"Don't worry" said God "I have just the thing from the last world I made, the...