Guess I'll never know y

*sorry I know I tried way too hard with this lol*

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Looks like I'm dealing with an alcohol problem.

They had fibromyalgebra

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divide that by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and nothing else more.

Plus three times the square root of four

Divide that by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and nothing else more.

It’s an Al Gore ithm.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

cos(B)

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

the angel at the gate frowned and apologized to the men "im sorry, but heaven is too full! if you want to come in you will have to trick the devil!" the devil appeared, smiling at the men, "well which one of you want to go to hell first?". after a pause, the mathematician walked up and handed the de...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Then;

being a lying ass hoe = f(my(x))

should be an easy equation to understand

being a lying ass hoe = f(my(x))

should be an easy equation to understand

Doctor : Can't say much but he has some serious second degree.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

That horny bastard just couldn’t get enough of that three sum.

I call it Al Gore-ithim

Calculust

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "

...

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "

...

Is 4n to me

F=ma

because it can't even.

An algorithm

(Credit to my girlfriend)

(Credit to my girlfriend)

Se^x

Guess and Czech.

Tolstoichiometry

and that’s not a hyperbola

but graphing is where I draw the line!

After hours of trudging through the woods, they spot their first game of the day: a deer sleeping soundly in the middle of a clearing.

The first one, a physicist, takes out his notebook and uses the equations of motion to aim his rifle at the perfect angle. Bang! His bullet whizzes past the d...

The first one, a physicist, takes out his notebook and uses the equations of motion to aim his rifle at the perfect angle. Bang! His bullet whizzes past the d...

Isolate the "x" so it gets depressive and takes suicide.

except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

You add the bed, subtract your cloths, divide your legs, and hope you don't multiply

HAmAr + SiCl

The equation was X^2 - 7X + 12 and even though I was prepared to give cash he gave me the answers for free.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Because the problems are all about losing liquids at varying rates.

He grabs them by the +c.

Inequalities

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could b...

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could b...

Real graphs have curves.

This joke comes from my father, who taught at a mostly black high school

During a calculus lecture:

"Can someone come to the board and integrate this?" he says, pointing to an equation

He looks around, wondering why no one has answered

Once again, he asks "Can someone com...

During a calculus lecture:

"Can someone come to the board and integrate this?" he says, pointing to an equation

He looks around, wondering why no one has answered

Once again, he asks "Can someone com...

A hypocrite.

What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother

Therefore, since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then 'progress' is the opposite of 'Congress'.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

On the plus side, it still worked.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

The final solution leaves you with - 6,000,000

He was charged with manufacture of crystal math

A radical equation.

dy/dx - 3x = 2

What's this?

An ODE (Ordinary Differential Equation)

What's this?

An ODE (Ordinary Differential Equation)

The book was said to answer any question asked of it. Being a professional, the archaeologist took the book back to his prestigious university, which was home to several leaders of certain fields. To research the book's power in a controlled manner, the archaeologist rounds up three of the universit...

2nd Man: Oh, only on special equations.....

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

When they go to approach the pearly gates suddenly Satan pops out and tells them, "Sorry Heaven is full! If you want to get in you gotta give me a question I can't answer correctly and I will let you in!"

The first guy steps forward. "I was a philosopher in my life and I can garuntee you don't k...

The first guy steps forward. "I was a philosopher in my life and I can garuntee you don't k...

... of equation x²+1=0

You: The y-intercept is (8,0) right?

Student 2: Parabobly.

Student 2: Parabobly.

He meets God there and asks him: "Dear God, you know me, I'm the author of worlds most famous equation. Would you show me the equation you used to create man?"

God takes a pencil and a piece of paper, scribbles something down and gives it to him.

Einstein is studying the formula for a ...

God takes a pencil and a piece of paper, scribbles something down and gives it to him.

Einstein is studying the formula for a ...

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

During one journey to a certain university, his driver remarked "Dr. Einstein, I have heard you deliver that lecture over 20 times. I know it by heart and I am certain I could give it myself."

Einstein thought for a bit and replied "Well, I'll give you the chance. They don't know me at the ne...

Einstein thought for a bit and replied "Well, I'll give you the chance. They don't know me at the ne...

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep.

The chemist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC (chemistry handbook), and began working o...

The chemist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC (chemistry handbook), and began working o...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

A philosopher, a mathematician, and an idiot die and go to heaven.

They arrive at the pearly gates and St. Peter greets them with a smile, but the devil is standing beside them. The three men stand there looking very confused. Saint Peter tells them that heaven is getting very crowded, and o...

They arrive at the pearly gates and St. Peter greets them with a smile, but the devil is standing beside them. The three men stand there looking very confused. Saint Peter tells them that heaven is getting very crowded, and o...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

With him is one of his graduate students minding her own business grading some of the first year students term papers. He is generally motionless except for the waggling of his pencil on the notebook he's doing sums in and the occasional pause to take a sip of his Jasmine tea.

All of a sudde...

All of a sudde...

The farmer, drawing from his years of farming experience, tells the others about how much wood and materials they’ll need to build the pin for his sheep to graze.

The engineer, determined to find the exact amount of materials to build the fence, draws up a series of complex equations and calc...

The engineer, determined to find the exact amount of materials to build the fence, draws up a series of complex equations and calc...

By using aquadratic equation.

(Via my coworker)

(Via my coworker)

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Came up with this a while back, and found it today. I cleaned it up a bit:

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer can't take it anymore and decide to commit suicide.

The biologist reviews some data and determines the impact velocity required to kill a human. He the...

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer can't take it anymore and decide to commit suicide.

The biologist reviews some data and determines the impact velocity required to kill a human. He the...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

So three men die and go heaven- a chemist, an idiot, and a mathematician.

When they get to the pearly gates of heaven, St. Peter is standing there, and says "Alright heaven is getting full, so to get into heaven, you have to ask me a question that I do not know the answer to.

The mathemat...

When they get to the pearly gates of heaven, St. Peter is standing there, and says "Alright heaven is getting full, so to get into heaven, you have to ask me a question that I do not know the answer to.

The mathemat...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher: Tell me the equation of this graph.

Student: This is fucking pointless

Student: This is fucking pointless

...who used a ladder to solve a calculus problem written at the very top of his blackboard?

He really rose to the equation.

He really rose to the equation.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.