16 sodium atoms walk into a bar...

Followed by Batman.

Two hydrogen atoms are walking down a street

All of a sudden, one stops and says “ oh my goodness I’ve lost my electron!” The other turns to him and says “are you sure” to which the first replies “ yeah! I’m positive!”

Why did the atom not laugh at his friend's joke?

It was no laughing matter...

Atoms are catholic.

They have mass.

What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?


What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?


I saw an atom lose its electron

He really should keep an ion them

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons

Everything is positive after that.

Two atoms are in a bar

One said to the other,' I just lost an electron'

'Are you sure?' Was the reply

'Yes, I'm positive'

You shouldn't trust atoms..

they make up everything.

What kind of fish is made of only two atoms?

2 Na

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

A helium atom walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases in here."
The helium doesn't react.

What do we call a group of 12 atoms?

Dozen matter.

Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...

If they have such an exceptional ground state

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

I've learned never to trust atoms

they'll make up anything

I've invented a new chemical compound consisting of sixteen Sodium atoms

I've named it "Batman."

He was an expert on all types of atom splitting.

In fact you could say he is a fission-ado.

“Two things can not touch, since there will always be something in between the atoms”

Good luck explaining that in court

What’s an atoms favorite video game?

Half life

An atom walks into a bar

He said I think I lost an electron on the way in.
The bartender asked if he's sure.
He said Ion positive.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An atom walks into a bar in Japan and opens up a tab

Bartender says, "Make sure you pay up before you split."

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don't you tell Matter the joke.

Atom: he wouldn't get it, he's too dense.

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

What fish is made of 2 sodium atoms?


Edit: Jeez, almost 300 upvotes, thanks everyone!

How do atoms find a partner to bond with?

Through carbon dating

Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?

They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

What do you call an atom with a negative charge?

An ion

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a threesome,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

What do you call a nitrogen atom having a 5-way orgy with 4 other hydrogen atoms?


Two atoms come back after fishin’

But they don’t come back after fusion.

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants

Do you know what the 2 helium atoms said when I told them this joke?


2 scientists see atoms for the first time.

Scientist 1: So everything is made up of these tiny particles?

Scientist 2: I guess so.

Scientist 1: What should we call the things they make up?

Scientist 2: Why name it? It doesn't seem that important to me.

Scientist 1: Are you sure? Cause I think it all Matters.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?


16 Sodium Atoms walk into a mansion.


Simple chemistry joke.

Spoiler/Answer: [^The ^atomic ^symbol ^for ^Sodium ^is ^Na. ^Na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na ^na

What do you get when you add electrons to an atom?


Why are atoms bad story tellers?

Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death