My buddy just came to me all depressed and said “My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.”

So I said “well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little dumbass will get it."

My Australian friend flunked 2 music classes, but said he'd only re-taken one.

I asked him, "so, which didgeridoo?"

Why do Mexican gang members usual flunk school?

Cause they don't turn in their essays.

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A hot schoolgirl is dangerously close to flunking class...

...so she tells the teacher : "I'd do anything for a good grade". The teacher whispers into her ear : "Anything ?" She replies : "Yes, anything". With a seductive smile he says : "Well then, sit down and start studying, you lazy fuck!"

Why did DRAM flunk his math test?

Because he was SODIMM.

What happens to a math major when he flunks out of school?

The aftermath

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You know why no one ever flunks out of Porn School?

Everyone has to take a "D" on the final exam.

A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school

All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about sch...

What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy?

"The sky's the limit for you".

1600 out of 2000 high school seniors flunked their math exam in my city.

That's almost half!

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My sister flunked her U.S. History test.

She thought LBJ was a Mexican blowjob.

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My biology teacher flunked me when she asked me what is commonly found in cells.

Apparently, black people wasn't the answer she was looking for.

You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking?

He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle.

People tell me "Alcohol isn't a solution"

But why should I listen to someone who clearly flunked chemistry?

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On math exam

Professor is fed up with the group of his students. So on exam he decides to flunk some students.
The first student comes in.
P: You’re driving a car. You feel really hot, what do you do?
S: I shall pull down a window
P: at what speed does the air come from outside inside the car?
The...

One day co-workers Alice and Bob were talking over the water cooler. Soon the conversation turned to Alice's husband Walter and his plans for the future.

"He's up for a promotion, but he's kinda screwed. He'd be moving up from the mail room to a position with some management responsibilities, but he never actually graduated college and that's usually a requirement. They like him though, so there's just one course he has to take and get a good grade i...

I once got a summer job to grade the county gravel roads.

I got fired when I started flunking all the roads for being too bumpy.

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Discrimination

Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."

"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"

"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"

"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

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The Immortal Bard

*This is not my joke, it is actually a short story written by Isaac Asimov, but it is written like a joke. One that I found quite humorous. Hope it belongs here.*

"Oh, yes," said Dr. Phineas Welch, "I can bring back the spirits of the illustrious dead."

He was a little drunk, or maybe ...

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My grandma's favorite joke...

Little Jimmy was visiting his grandma...

He came into the room and asked, "Grandma, how old are you and how much do you weigh?"

Grandma replied, "Jimmy, that's not an appropriate question to ask a little old lady."

"Okay...sorry" Jimmy replied.

Jimmy left the room, and ...

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An original math feghoot.

There are enough people in the world now who require catheters for medical reasons for the devices to have become the targets of fetishes. At least some of these catheter fetishists are also practitioners of free love, and it's not unusual for them to get together with (relatively) large numbers of...

My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago. He comes to me this summer and he goes...

"Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell him he will be held back a year."

I was like, "I guess you better tell him slowly so that he will get it."

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