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Cringe Jokes

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are Stephen King's sex scenes so cringe?

It's always embarrassing to get horny in Maine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The authorities put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

Santa walks into the North Pole bar, takes a seat, and asks the bartender for his most popular shot

Bartender pours out something that looks like candy cane. “It’s called ‘Elf Cum’”.

Santa cringes, but downs it and remarks, “Gee, that’s really good, but why do you call it ‘Elf Cum’?”

Bartender replies, “When I tested it out with Mrs. Claus, she said, ‘That tastes just like ...

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Cringe Airlines

What happens when you combine Fox News, CNN, and a Fleshlight.

You get a plane

The right wing, the left wing, and the cockpit.

Cringe joke I came up with, I think

Who’s the richest man in South America?
Why, Jeff Pezos, of course!

I’m cringe...

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

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A fight breaks out at a Newfie wedding...

Chairs are flying and women are crying. The police show up and arrest all the men involved in the scuffle.

They all are brought to the court house and all you hear is chatter. "Order in my court", screams the judge. "Can someone come up and please explain what happened?".

Jimmy speaks...

It's my cake day, so I wanna share my favorite joke :-)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ...

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Tom's scrotum

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise.

Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pai...

Cringe

You know the person who invented knock-knock jokes, He got the Nobel prize

(Cringe alert)How to swear in decent way?

You mothertrucker son of the rich!

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I cringed as my finger tore through the toilet paper,

And i felt the warmth of fresh shit under my finger nail.


Sometimes i really hate my job and this damn nursing home.

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Onestone

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle And whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them!"

The word got arou...

what's it called when you remember your emo phase and cringe?

PTxD

My Russian friends cringe everytime I tell a joke...

Because in Russia line punch you.

What do you call a German who cringes a lot?

Vince

I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town

because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.

what looks like half a birthday cake?

...the other half. this is my cringe cakeday joke.

I refuse to accept non-binary

Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.

(Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.)

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A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes.

On the third tee, the husband cautioned, Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it'll cost us a fortune to repair.

Of course, she immediately shanked her drive right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed, I warned you to watch ...

What do you call a sea cow in Seattle?

A sea-cattle.





I'm so sorry for the cringe...

I once told a fishing pun

The cringe was reel

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A goth, a weeb and a brony walks into a bar

Bartender said well well well! We don't see you people often in here. So how about this, I'ma make you an offer. Each one of you say the most embarrassing thing you have done, and the person with the most cringe-worthy story gets a drink for free.

The Goth said, well I cut my ex's name in my ...

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Okay, so let me tell you about the idiots I work with...

First off, there's this girl that always follows me around like a puppy. Which isn't so bad because she's pretty hot, but man is she *dumb*. Like, really fucking dumb. She has convinced herself she's going to be a professional model one day and... well I don't see it happening. Needless to say, ...

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

A preacher's wife comes home from shopping with a very expensive dress.

The preacher cringes when he sees the dress. "We're on a budget, remember?"

"I know we're on a budget," replies the wife, "but the devil himself went shopping with me. He convinced me to try on the dress."

The preacher facepalms. "When that happens, you're supposed to say, 'Get behind ...

I said to my teenage son "There are two words I'm hearing a lot, and they're starting to grate"

"I'd like you to stop using them so much, please. One of them is 'cringe' and the other is 'epic'. Do you think you could manage that?"

He said "Sure, Dad -- what are the two words?"

Why should you never play poker in Africa?

Because there are so many cheetahs!





^(Sorry I know this is super cringe)

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