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Flounder Jokes

This is my first joke. Be nice!

A doctor says grimly to a patient, "You are a very sick man. You've been diagnosed with covid, monkey pox, swine flu, Ebola, and bubonic plague all at the same time."

"Is there anything that can be done to help me?" asks the patient.

"Amazingly, there is," says the doctor. "First, we'...

A sole and a flounder are swimming in the ocean when they bump into each other. The sole says, "A flounder!"

The flounder, to be polite, says nothing.

I don't think Flounder I caught today was very happy with me.

He was looking at me kinda sideways.

A redneck mistook his own foot for a flounder while flounder gigging...

Later at the hospital, he was chatting with the doctor as the doctor was stitching him up. The doctor was also an avid fisherman too.

Doctor: I see you were using a double pronged gig.

Redneck: No, I use a single prong gig.

Doctor: Then why am I stitching up two holes?

Re...

Why do Flounder, Sebastian, Ursula, Flotsom, Jetsom, and King Triton all live underwater?

Because if the lived on land, there would be the possibility of an Ariel attack.

I was excited to tell people the new fish puns I came up with…

But they all floundered

Deep in the Australian bush…

A lizard and a koala are sitting in a large gum smoking a joint. They’re having a blast.
Eventually the lizard says, “Dude, my mouth is so dry. I’m going to get a drink at the river.” So he climbs down the tree, makes his way through the bush and when he arrives at the river he leans in to drin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married couple's sex life was floundering...

and the husband booked a cruise to jazz things up. Unfortunately, he was cheap bastard and when they got to their room they discovered they were in the BROILER ROOM with BUNK BEDS. He tries to upgrade them but the ship is full.

He says to his wife "Well, nothing we can do now". He gestures to...

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder.

The other two are crushedAsians.

Who’s the wealthiest fish in the sea?

Gill Gates, the flounder of Mackerelsoft

Finally found my sole mate

bought a girlfriend for my flounder

I had a favorite fish once.

She would come and visit me in the same spot each day when I was diving until suddenly she disappeared. I was devastated! I lobster! But luckily I flounder.

I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...

One day I lobster and never flounder again.

A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit.

When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water.

The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar.

Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone...

I always had the worst luck when I went fishing...

Until I caught a Flounder Yesterday. My dad said it was a Fluke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Johnny caught a fish

He caught it down by the pond, and it was a really big one. Johnny, a country boy, was playing hooky from the local Catholic school.

He was carrying his big fish down the road - and who does he run into but Sister Mary, one of the nuns in the parish.

She says "Johnny! Skipping school ...

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