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What's 60 foot long and stinks of piss?

A geriatric conga line

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What has 153 legs and stinks of piss?

A line dance at an old folks home.

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Opinions are like the anus.

Everybody has one, most of them stink, and you don't have to see mine.

Why do farts stink?

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Nose jokes stink

But eye jokes are cornea

So Bill Gates walks into an Apple store and farts the hell out of life. Everyone looks at him and says dude wtf it stinks.

Bill Gates b like "well its not my problem ya'll dont have windows in here"

My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks.....

So I drove her to New Jersey

Why did the pencil stink?

Because it was a #2

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What planet stinks?

Ur anus

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

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My wife wrongfully accused me of pooping and making the whole house stink.

I said "You're just making shit up."

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Two pensioners are having oral sex with each other.

The man says, "I can't do this any longer. It stinks down here!"

"Sorry," The woman says. "It's my arthritis."

"Arthritis in your vagina?" He exclaims.

"No, in my shoulder. I can't wipe my ass."

"Silent farts that don't stink..."

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.

"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"

The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.

Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.

"Doctor, I still have co...

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink ?

Bran

He is Hodorless

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.

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This joke stinks.

Jim wakes up one day to discover that his farts are making a very unusual sound. When he farts, it sounds like his butt is going "HONDA! HONDA!" Furthermore, they seem to happen without any warning. He's obviously quite concerned, so he goes to the doctor about it.

He explains the problem to...

Her farts don't stink

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pil...

A bee, a fly, and a mosquito signed up for a website that sometimes stings, usually stinks, and mostly sucks. What website is this?

BuzzFeed

Why do the French stink?

So blind people can hate them too

It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it's actually a sausage

That's the wurst

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The female stink badger has 12 potent smelling nipples..

dozen tit make scents

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Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart Mints

Why does Piglet stink so bad?

Cause he always plays with Pooh.

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“Dating you is like making wine”

“Because at first you were sweet

Then you kinda started to stink

Now you got me all fucked up. “

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The Plan

In the beginning there was a Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was on the face of the workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."...

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A moral prostitute is like an annoying turd

They stink up the house and won't go down.

Two men in an elevator...

Two men in an elevator.

One says to the other, sniffing: "excuse me, did you pass wind?"

The other answers, sounding hurt and offended: "of course I did! Do you think I always stink like this?"

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There are 2 types of men who sit on the toilet when they go to the bathroom.

Those who go to sit and think and those who go to shit and stink.

There are three people who die and go to heaven: a teacher, construction worker, and a lawyer

St. Peter greets them and says "Here's the thing: heaven is becoming overcrowded, so in order to get in, you have to answer the one question I give you correctly. If you don't, you go to hell."

The teacher decides to go first; she walks up to St. Peter, and asks "What is my question?"

...

My first Joke I have come up with.

A fart and a shart walk into a Pub.
"This place stinks! Exclaimed the fart.
" I feel ya" replied the shart.

A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.

She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.

There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says , "Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on ...

I have a friend called Fred who changes his name as often as he changes his shirt.....

..... he’s always been called Fred and he stinks.

A couple are driving home one evening and run over a badger.

They get out the car and find its still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says, "put it between your legs and warm it up"
Wife replies " but its all wet and it stinks" the husband replies; "well hold the badgers nose then"

Have you heard the joke about the skunk

Never mind it stinks

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A man dies and goes to hell. Satan tells the man he will need to choose a room from several options.

In the first room, people are being burned in fierce flames.

\- Oh this is not for me, says the man.

In second room everyone is being whipped and beaten horribly with spiked tools.

\- Nah, this is not for me either, sorry.

Satan shows him the last room, and the man sees a...

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Little Bobby was running through the woods

Little Bobby was running through the woods behind his house when the urge to go #2 struck. Bobby did his business behind a tree and carried on his way. The next day, Bobby was out behind his house again when he saw a swarm of flies circling yesterday's droppings. Intrigued, Bobby dropped his pants a...

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Complisult !!!

Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said.


"I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"


"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You'...

A rip-roaring surprise!!

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I knew I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he wa...

Philosophy of a skunk

I stink, therefore I am

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A homeless man is walking across a bridge...

A homeless man (a particularly homeless-looking homeless man) is walking across a bridge and comes across the most beautiful woman he's ever seen standing at the edge, ready to jump off. He goes over to her and says

"Miss, you can't do this! You're so beautiful and there has to be so many g...

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A man who's had a few too many

A man is out drinking most of the day and next thing he knows the night has really gotten away from him. He's so loaded he ends up puking on his shirt. He is telling the bartender that he doesn't know how he's going to tell his wife that he let himself get that drunk. The bartender tells him t...

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Quitting isn't easy.

Watson being a doctor and knowing all well how deadly tobacco is, tried to convince Sherlock to quit smocking, but all attempts to persuade the detective were useless. He stubbornly kept puffing the pipe. Watson was ready to give up, when one day he had an idea. Sticking the stem up the butt would c...

Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they stink

*Shout outs to my neighbor's eight year old

Having family spend time at your house and eating seafood are basically the same thing.....

Great at first but start to stink after a couple days

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A man goes in to a public toilet and sees a man with no arms standing by the urinal. The armless man turns to him and says, ''Could you help me, please? My zip needs undoing."

''Okay.'' says the first man, and he pulls down the man's zip.

The armless man then says, ''Could you take it out for me?''

''Um, well, okay." says the first man. He pulls the armless man's dick out of his pants and sees that it is covered in red bumps, green veins and brown scabs oozi...

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A bad smell follows the bastard

A woman came home from work one day, and her husband of fifteen years had a rather dramatic message for her: he wanted a divorce.

Understandably, she was quite devastated by the news, and to make matters worse he demanded she move out of their home before the end of the month. He offered her ...

My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets.

Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.

What's the deal with scented candles?

If they work, they stink. If they don't work, they still stink.

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The Medicrin Story - taken from a Boy Scouting website

Long ago, before Gamecubes, before Playstations, even before Atari, there were nasty, vile monsters roaming the land. In those days, a few brave, strong men made their living by protecting common people from these beasts. This is a story about one such man named Erik and the adventure he had. 
...

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