Stink Jokes - 76 Hilarious Stink Jokes

Nose jokes stink

But eye jokes are cornea

Her farts don't stink

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pil...

Q. Why does this Star Trek uniform stink?

A. William Shatner

"Silent farts that don't stink..."

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.

"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"

The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.

Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.

"Doctor...

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

why did the pencil stink?

…because it was a No. 2

Why do the French stink?

So blind people can hate them too

What does Florida Man say to a tourist when he tells a joke and it stinks?

You don’t get sargassum.

Why don't dead bodies stink?

Cuz they're defunct.

Which Game of Thrones character doesn't stink ?

Bran

He is Hodorless

Give a man a fish, and he'll stink up the whole house. Give him a fishing rod, and well you see where this is going.

He'll poke your eye out.

My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks.....

So I drove her to New Jersey

One night, Pinnochio’s girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. Every time we make love I get splinters.”

So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto says, "Sandpaper,
my boy, that's all you need."

A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, "So
how are you doing with the girls now?"

Pinnochio says, "Who needs girls?"

What rhymes with “boo” and really stinks?

You

Why do farts stink?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

If you think your sh*t don't stink...

Then you got Covid.

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This joke stinks.

Jim wakes up one day to discover that his farts are making a very unusual sound. When he farts, it sounds like his butt is going "HONDA! HONDA!" Furthermore, they seem to happen without any warning. He's obviously quite concerned, so he goes to the doctor about it.

He explains the problem to...

An embarrassed older lady visited her doctor for help with a problem.

"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong, but I fart all the time. It's strange because they are both silent and odorless, but they keep coming out. In fact, I've farted about 6 times just sitting here. What can I do?"

The doctor replied, "Here, take one of these pills every morning and then come s...

"What stinks in here?"

"I was playing with my laser gun"

"Pew"

What stinks and sounds like a bell?

DUNNNNNGGGGGG!

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

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Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

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What has 153 legs and stinks of piss?

A line dance at an old folks home.

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What's 60 feet long and stinks of piss?

A conga in an old people's home

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.

My friend’s house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm.

Everything smells like dairy air.

A time traveler walks into a bar, but the bartender refuses to serve him.

"Why the hell not?" he asks.

"We don't serve *any* time travelers here," the bartender explains, "not since one got stinking drunk and trashed the place four years ago."

"Four years ago, you say..."

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Something stinks on my flight

I can't find it. I know I'm not the only one. Everybody around me has scrunched up faces. Someone hit the flight attendant button. The flight attendant notices quickly as well, and begins searching for the source. She starts ripping open the overhead storage bins, smelling each one cautiously. With ...

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What planet stinks?

Ur anus

Why does Piglet stink so bad?

Cause he always plays with Pooh.

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Little Bobby was running through the woods

Little Bobby was running through the woods behind his house when the urge to go #2 struck. Bobby did his business behind a tree and carried on his way. The next day, Bobby was out behind his house again when he saw a swarm of flies circling yesterday's droppings. Intrigued, Bobby dropped his pants a...

What did John Bercow say when the government caused a stink in the Parliament, last night?

"Odooour!"

I laugh when people say that Elon Musk is stinking rich...

He can't afford to sleep in to 10:00 am every day like me.

There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.

I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beat...

I applied for a job but my resume stinks...

...so I asked a friend to help me out by pretending to be extremely unqualified so that I would seem like the better candidate. Everyday he walked into the office and applied for the same job under a different name and in a different costume each time. On the first day he went as himself, on the sec...

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The female stink badger has 12 potent smelling nipples..

dozen tit make scents

An old rich man and his three sons die and arrive at the Pearly Gate

St. Peter tells the old man: we’ve been expecting you, but not them. Your sons are not supposed to be here.

The old man replies: Well. It’s all my fault. When I was dying, I had a test for them. I gave each of them 10 dollars and told them to buy something that can fill the entire room. Whoev...

What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart Mints

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Two pensioners are engaging in oral sex.

Old Man: "I can't stay down here for too long, It stinks."

Old Lady: "Sorry, it's my arthritis."

Old Man: "Arthritis in your vagina?"

Old Lady: "No the arthritis is in my shoulder, I can't wipe my ass!"

Top managers are like leaf blowers.

They make a lot of air and noise moving a problem to another place. It stinks.

Joke my dad liked

Poppa bird, Momma bird, and Baby bird were sitting on a wire one Autumn morning when Poppa bird says, “My instincts tell me it’s time to fly south.”

Momma bird chirps in, “My instincts are also telling me it’s time to fly south.”

Baby bird looks at them confused and says, “Well my end ...

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Two Vaginas were talking and the first one said: “Did you hear that asshole? He said ‘two in the pink and one in the stink’ is favoritism”, and the other one replied:

“They hate us cuz they anus”

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A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender

I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference."

The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is 5-year scotch. I told you I want 12-year scotch...

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My wife wrongfully accused me of pooping and making the whole house stink.

I said "You're just making shit up."

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A guy buys a vintage motorcycle he saw for sale in an ad in the paper.

When he goes to pick the bike up, the dude who sells him the bike says, "

"Now remember....that's all original leather. You can't let it get too wet. If it starts raining and you don't have anywhere to shelter it, make sure you keep a tub of vaseline with you. Rub it all over the seat so the ...

What did the philosopher say after he took a bath?

"I stink, therefore I swam."

Gonna start a musical group called "SPHINCTER OF DOOM"

Our music might stink, but we'll be a tight knit band.

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The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan without substance

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it sti...

What do diapers and politicians have in common?

They both stink and need to be changed often.

So Bill Gates walks into an Apple store and farts the hell out of life. Everyone looks at him and says dude wtf it stinks.

Bill Gates b like "well its not my problem ya'll dont have windows in here"

Bean Disaster

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he wa...

It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it's actually a sausage

That's the wurst

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A man

…was visiting a psychiatrist to complain about his wife. “She’s crazy, doc, keeps at least forty cats in our tiny apartment. There’s shit everywhere, and the stink is *unbelievable* because the windows are always closed!”

Doc says “We’ll, why don’t you at least open the windows to get rid of ...

I take the bus to school

So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.

This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud crash. I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.

I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. F...

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Restroom Thinker

I came here, To shit and stink,

But all I do, Is sit and think,

And here I sit, Broken hearted,

Couldn't shit, But only farted,

Some come here to sit and think,

Some come here to shit and stink,

Often I come here to scratch my balls,

And read all the ...

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A man was headed into town to on a Friday night in his old pick up truck

He gets half-way to town and his truck begins making a banging noise and he pulls off to the side of the road to have a look. When he turns off the truck the noise slowly stops and he gets out to have a look.

The engine is hot, smoky and stinks like oil and gas and steam. At this point he ha...

A bee, a fly, and a mosquito signed up for a website that sometimes stings, usually stinks, and mostly sucks. What website is this?

BuzzFeed

Why do women wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they stink

*Shout outs to my neighbor's eight year old

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My new girlfriend is a cat person...

.. her breath stinks of fish, she shits in a tray, and she disappears for days at a time

Having family spend time at your house and eating seafood are basically the same thing.....

Great at first but start to stink after a couple days

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Brother’s acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID

Thinks his shit don’t stink

Farting Issues

Patient: Doctor, every time I pass gas, the room fills up with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: Get some rest. You're just exhausted.

What would happen if skunks lost their smell?

They'd become ex-stinked.

A young couple were on their honeymoon.

The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub, saying to himself, "How can I tell my wife that I have got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink?

I have managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she is bound to find out sooner or later that my ...

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Assholes are like opinions...

They all stink.

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Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench when a bum comes up to them.

“Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

The Polish guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs "I give up, what has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

"You and your f...

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A lost cat

FOUND A STARVING, DIRTY, SMELLY, SKINNY, AND MATTED KITTY...

Hubby and I felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.' The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could c...

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

Why do you not eat dinosaurs eggs!

Because their eggs stinked

One thing at a time.

Once upon a time, a little old lady went to the doctor.

She said, "Doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I've had an constant problem with flatulence for weeks now. It's not much inconvenience, because they're quiet, and they don't stink, but I've farted 4 times just while I explained this to ...

Why did the dinosaur end his relationship?

Because his ex stinked.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

How is the mafia more considerate than Amber Heard?

A freshly cut horse head would take a couple of days to stink up the place.

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A visit to the doctors

A young guy goes to the doctor. He says “doctor, I have this terrible problem with flatulence. I fart uncontrollably and they always smell incredibly bad. You have got to help me”.

So the doctor says “pull down your trousers and underpants, hop on the bed and let me have a look”.

So th...

Last night I was laying in bed naked with my girlfriend when she started to cough.

She told me she might need to get tested for Covid.

I pulled the covers over her head, then I farted.

She goes "ewwww, that stinks. Oh my God I can taste it!!!".

Then I pulled the covers off of her and said "Congratulations. You don't have Covid".

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