First Quarter Jokes - 10 Hilarious First Quarter Jokes

I asked someone in the street: is that half moon a first quarter or a third quarter?

He replied: Sorry, I'm a tourist here, I don't know this sky.

A Classic!

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in af...

The Superbowl ticket

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes his seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter Bob...

Smell

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback bl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys, Billy and Bob, head out in the woods, hunting for bear...

They hike to where their tree stand is, in the thickest part of the forest, set their bait, climb into the stand, hunker down and wait. Before too long, a small black bear comes by to check out the bait, and the hunters shoot it dead. They climb down and begin the work of butchering the carcass, whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While playing in my local basketball rec league, I once thought that my next game would be against the Boston Celtics.

I was proven wrong once the game started and I got a good look at the opponents. They wore grey instead of green. Likewise, Kemba Walker, Jayson Tatum, Gordon Hayward, and Jaylen Brown were nowhere to be found.

Instead, I found myself face-to-face with a bunch of stinky, over-weight neckbea...

Your team here

There was a guy way up in the nose bleed seats at ‘your team’s’ home game. About the end of the first quarter, he spotted an old man and an empty seat down on the 50 yard line. He made his way down to the older gentleman, and asked if anybody was sitting there.

The man said “ my wife and I h...

A Mother Decides to Give her Daughter a Reward for Good Grades

As a young girl is starting in a new school that is supposed to be very difficult, her mother decides to give her daughter a reward for getting good grades.

"Every quarter you get all A's I'll buy you any toy you want." says the mother.

First quarter report cards come in, little girl...

Isis have just started making explosive prayer mats

In their first quarterly report they said that prophets were going through the roof.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy was doing terribly in school.

The boy had done poorly in school his whole life and nothing seemed to work. He went from school to school and tutor to tutor but no one could work with him. He wasn't getting in to trouble or doing drugs he just wasn't to smart and couldn't find the motivation to get himself to work.

After...

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