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Solar Eclipse Jokes

Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is

No sun

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

Did you see the solar eclipse last night?

"Wasn't it a lunar eclipse?"

No no, the Mavs shut out the Suns.

I'm taking my wife for skydiving.

So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That solar eclipse was so dark...

The LAPD beat the shit out of it for being on the wrong side of town.

I locked my car doors when it passed by.

It had its own hashtag for mattering.

Okay r/jokes, take it from here. That solar eclipse was so dark...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The solar eclipse is like my sex life

it will be dark, hurt your eyes and only last 2 minutes!

Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing...

Because the parents cannot find their sun.

You can look at the solar eclipse directly

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse?

The father replies "No son"

I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump watched the solar eclipse from the White House

President Trump was at the White House when one of his Secret Service agents spoke up.

"Mr President, the eclipse is about to happen. If you wear these glasses and look into the sky, you should see it shortly."

Donald Trump, not one for unsolicited advice, declines the glasses but none...

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Know your eclipses.

Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

Here is a dumb joke that might have been said.

A son asked his father what a solar eclipse was his father said no sun.

RIP to all the vampires

who got fooled by the solar eclipse.

What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common?

It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.

Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

Why is Annie the Orphan crying?

There was a solar eclipse.

I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today...

Because if he went blind all he would see is black

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