Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump.

Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse?

The father replies "No son"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That solar eclipse was so dark...

The LAPD beat the shit out of it for being on the wrong side of town.

I locked my car doors when it passed by.

It had its own hashtag for mattering.

Okay r/jokes, take it from here. That solar eclipse was so dark...

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The solar eclipse is like my sex life

it will be dark, hurt your eyes and only last 2 minutes!

What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common?

It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

You can look at the solar eclipse directly

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye

I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.

Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump watched the solar eclipse from the White House

President Trump was at the White House when one of his Secret Service agents spoke up.

"Mr President, the eclipse is about to happen. If you wear these glasses and look into the sky, you should see it shortly."

Donald Trump, not one for unsolicited advice, declines the glasses but none...

Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing...

Because the parents cannot find their sun.

My Dad is like the Solar Eclipse

If i make direct eye contact he'll hurt me, but when it's safe for me to look at him he already left for milk and won't be back for several years.

I'm taking my wife for skydiving.

So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.

Know your eclipses.

Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

RIP to all the vampires

who got fooled by the solar eclipse.

Military Humor

I had to translate. You can help me fix it.


Lieutenant Colonel to Major:
“There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won’t be able to see it...

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