Eclipse Jokes

No sun

No sun.

The apocalypse…

I tried it and it just strained my eyes.

I'm not to worried though, those suckers will never see me again.

I couldn't see anything, though. The moon was in the way the entire time.

An Apocaclipse.

I told her not to pack the sunblock because they'll have some there.

Eclipse it.

but it gets kind of dark.

I tried using a colander to view the eclipse.

I think I've strained my eyes.

It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to

So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.

No son

Now I will get to see it for the rest of my life.

They need to protect their pupils.

* Eyes
* Cannot
* Look
* Into
* Partial
* Solar
* Eclipse

Probably because it's significance is astronomical.

Tomorrow, take a shot for every post on r/tifu with a title that's anything along the lines of "TIFU by looking at the eclipse" or "TIFU by not watching my [sibling/child/parent/grandparent/friend/SO] during the eclipse".

In other words: Take a shot for everyone blinded by their ignorance.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

It's at 8:01 PM. The earth will block out the sun and it will go completely dark during a period of about 10 1/2 hours.

I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need now!

The Moon says "Hello Mr Sun, I don't come across you very often!"

The Sun arrogantly turns his nose up and replies "Yes well, we move in different circles"

Not only did the moon block out the sun, but the clouds did as well.

:(

Bella chooses Edward.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

But I've been kept in the dark.

It was quite an eclipse. The earth's shadow blocked out the sun completely. It got very dark. The temperature dropped. It was eerie. But, after a few hours, I got tired and went inside to sleep.

I hear that there will be another one tonight and every evening next week.

I was changing my mixtape

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye

see me after, and I'll give you a refund.

The father replies "No son"

Stare at it for 30 seconds

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Daylight robbery

is it okay to look directly at the sun now?

Must have missed the start though- it was already dark.

Apocalypse

P.S . My 11 yr old nephew said this and I found it very funny

... "Turtle Eclipse of the Heart".

Eclipse it.




Sorry, my son was studying science and saw this joke. He wanted me to share it. Apparently upping his dad joke skills early.

He has plenty of practice feeling his way around.

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleve... read more

who got fooled by the solar eclipse.

It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

Lunar cycles, werewolf lore, eclipse dates, he knew all about them and then some. The really strange part was he focused solely on the moon in this way, no other part of space.

Made him easy to shop for though. Werewolf movies, moon pies, he'd love them just for being tangentially connected t... read more

Eclipse it.

Everyone just called it an eclipse though.

Because if he went blind all he would see is black

It was a total eclipse of the fart

Eclipse them!