I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man with three testicles walks on the street. Then he says to the other man, proudly: "you and I combined have five testicles."

The other man, full of disbelief and shock, says: "you only have one?"

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded

I’ve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...

I call it LETTER RIP

If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?

...being poor.

I had a combined class of philosophy and maths today......

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation

The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and...

My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined.

She lost 120 lbs.

I like the color green

I like it as much as blue and yellow combined

I combined baseball and boxing and made a new sport.

It's called basebrawl.

TIL America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined.

Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of 0 museums.

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man with a single testicle (NSFW)

A man with a single testicle gets on a plane. He is very unlucky man with a single testicle.


The plane he is on has an engine malfunction mid flight and starts falling due to excessive weight. One has to jump from the plane to save the others.


"Lets choose someone randomly" say...

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has now been withdrawn...

This Fibonacci joke is bad as the last two you heard combined

Copied from mathologer video

My friend makes paintings of Eminem combined with other famous rappers

He's a mixed Marshall artist.

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint

I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined.

By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some women like flowers, others like something a little more sexy, so I've combined the two...

Hope my wife likes her daffodildo.

A man walks up to you and asks, "What happens when you combined a joke with a rhetorical question?"

*the man walks away laughing*

Scientists today combined a car with two domestic sweeping devices.

It goes broom broom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was traveling through Asia when one night, he stopped at a monastery

He asked the monks for a place to sleep and some food, and the monks indulged him. But that night, he couldn't sleep. He kept hearing this droning, thumping sound. After a while, he went to investigate. He followed the sound down the stairs, into the basement. There he encountered a richly decorated...

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

A Voyage to Italy

A young woman from New York was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomo...

More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined

-Bus driver

My wife and I lost 150lbs combined!

So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!

The true reason that the Titanic sank...

The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.

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