UPJOKE
mixblendamalgamateunifymixtureincorporaterecombinationminglemergemeldconflatecoalescecommingleuniteimmix

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As an experiment, I combined some Viagra with penis enlarging pills and dissolved them in some eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined their enormous wealth and power to develop the most effective penis enlargement pill ever created.

They're calling it Elongates.

TIL America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined.

Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of 0 museums.
upvote downvote report

My friend had the weed and I had the papers so we combined our resources.

It was a joint effort.


Happy 4/20 for those who celebrate.
upvote downvote report

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL
upvote downvote report

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
upvote downvote report

How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.
upvote downvote report

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded
upvote downvote report

My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined.

She lost 120 lbs.
upvote downvote report

If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?

...being poor.
upvote downvote report

I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined.

By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me.
upvote downvote report

I had a combined class of philosophy and maths today......

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"
upvote downvote report

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.
upvote downvote report

I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative.

I call it "letter rip"
upvote downvote report

I combined baseball and boxing and made a new sport.

It's called basebrawl.
upvote downvote report

I thought up this fibonacci joke ..

But it's worse than my last two combined
upvote downvote report

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Black Man, a Mexican, and a White Man Got Lost Canoeing.

They reached an island ruled by terrorists. The terrorists wanted to kill the entire crew. However, after seeing the white man, the terrorists had a proposal. If the combined length of the mens' penises measured 1 foot, then the men would be set free. The Black man's dick measured 6 inches. The Whit...

My friend makes paintings of Eminem combined with other famous rappers

He's a mixed Marshall artist.
upvote downvote report

My wife and I lost 150lbs combined!

So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man with three testicles walks on the street. Then he says to the other man, proudly: "you and I combined have five testicles."

The other man, full of disbelief and shock, says: "you only have one?"

Growing up my grandma loved reading me Mark Twain. It combined her to favorite activities,

Spending time with her grandson and using the N word.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some women like flowers, others like something a little more sexy, so I've combined the two...

Hope my wife likes her daffodildo.

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has now been withdrawn...
upvote downvote report

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.
upvote downvote report

More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined

-Bus driver
upvote downvote report

A man walks up to you and asks, "What happens when you combined a joke with a rhetorical question?"

*the man walks away laughing*
upvote downvote report

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm planning on opening a combined cocktail bar and waxing salon.

I'm going to call it "Gin and Bare It".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information