UPJOKE
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As an experiment, I combined some Viagra with penis enlarging pills and dissolved them in some eye drops.

It made me take a long, hard look at myself.

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Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined their enormous wealth and power to develop the most effective penis enlargement pill ever created.

They're calling it Elongates.

TIL America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined.

Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of 0 museums.

My friend had the weed and I had the papers so we combined our resources.

It was a joint effort.


Happy 4/20 for those who celebrate.

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded

My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined.

She lost 120 lbs.

If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?

...being poor.

I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined.

By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me.

I had a combined class of philosophy and maths today......

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"

My least favorite color is purple.

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative.

I call it "letter rip"

I combined baseball and boxing and made a new sport.

It's called basebrawl.

I thought up this fibonacci joke ..

But it's worse than my last two combined

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint

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A Black Man, a Mexican, and a White Man Got Lost Canoeing.

They reached an island ruled by terrorists. The terrorists wanted to kill the entire crew. However, after seeing the white man, the terrorists had a proposal. If the combined length of the mens' penises measured 1 foot, then the men would be set free. The Black man's dick measured 6 inches. The Whit...

My friend makes paintings of Eminem combined with other famous rappers

He's a mixed Marshall artist.

My wife and I lost 150lbs combined!

So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!

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One day a man with three testicles walks on the street. Then he says to the other man, proudly: "you and I combined have five testicles."

The other man, full of disbelief and shock, says: "you only have one?"

Growing up my grandma loved reading me Mark Twain. It combined her to favorite activities,

Spending time with her grandson and using the N word.

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Some women like flowers, others like something a little more sexy, so I've combined the two...

Hope my wife likes her daffodildo.

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has now been withdrawn...

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined

-Bus driver

A man walks up to you and asks, "What happens when you combined a joke with a rhetorical question?"

*the man walks away laughing*

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

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I'm planning on opening a combined cocktail bar and waxing salon.

I'm going to call it "Gin and Bare It".

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