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Combined Jokes

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Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined their enormous wealth and power to develop the most effective penis enlargement pill ever created.

They're calling it Elongates.

Green is my favorite color.

Green is my favorite color. I love it even more than blue and yellow combined.

I’m thinking of starting a combined escort and midwife service

It will be called “Vaginal Delivery”

How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a man with three testicles walks on the street. Then he says to the other man, proudly: "you and I combined have five testicles."

The other man, full of disbelief and shock, says: "you only have one?"

TIL America has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined.

Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of 0 museums.

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded

If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?

...being poor.

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

I had a combined class of philosophy and maths today......

The topic's name was " √ 2 Success"

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A fat man wants to lose weight...

A fat man is looking for a way to lose weight. He has already tried all kinds of slimming diets and fitness programs, but they didn't work for him. One day, he comes across an ad that says: "New revolutionary method - weight loss 100% guaranteed. Satisfied or your money back!"
He thinks: "Since ...

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined.

She lost 120 lbs.

Mother Superior is travelling

Mother Superior was traveling by bus with a young novice nun.

They had to change buses in anothyer city.

They had packed a lunch and found a bench in the bus station to spread their lunch on a cloth between them.

As they ate the young novice noticed a large scale in a corner t...

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A Black Man, a Mexican, and a White Man Got Lost Canoeing.

They reached an island ruled by terrorists. The terrorists wanted to kill the entire crew. However, after seeing the white man, the terrorists had a proposal. If the combined length of the mens' penises measured 1 foot, then the men would be set free. The Black man's dick measured 6 inches. The Whit...

I've combined alphabet soup and a laxative.

I call it "letter rip"

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The story of an unlucky man

Once upon a time, there lived an unlucky man. He was so unlucky that he was born with 1 testicle. One day, he got into a plane flight and the plane started falling. It was announced that someone needed to jump in order to save the plane and its other passengers. They did some voting and the unlucky ...

I thought up this fibonacci joke ..

But it's worse than my last two combined

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint

I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined.

By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me.

My friend makes paintings of Eminem combined with other famous rappers

He's a mixed Marshall artist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some women like flowers, others like something a little more sexy, so I've combined the two...

Hope my wife likes her daffodildo.

Prepare three envelopes

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Things...

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable drinks has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide...

Their "Melon-Cauli" smoothie has now been withdrawn...

A man walks up to you and asks, "What happens when you combined a joke with a rhetorical question?"

*the man walks away laughing*

Scientists today combined a car with two domestic sweeping devices.

It goes broom broom.

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined

-Bus driver

My wife and I lost 150lbs combined!

So if you see our twins wandering around please let us know!

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