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Sixth Jokes

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy.

The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you bein...

What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

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On the sixth day

**ON THE SIXTH DAY... **

**God Creating Spiders**

God: Make it have 8 legs

Angel: Seems excessive but OK

God: And 8 eyes

Angel: You need to calm down a li-

God: Give it a bum rope

**God Creating Kittens**

God: make them fluffy & adorable li...

A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.

The husband goes to his wife and asks her, “Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?”

The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.

The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, “So who is Billy’s father?”

“You...

Why do the vowels refuse to acknowledge their sixth member?

They don't know why

On the sixth day, God outsourced to China.

That’s why weekends don’t last very long.

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Dogs have a sixth sense.

A Man is hanging out by the river, watching people walk across a bridge, when a little shaggy dog walks up to him. Out of nowhere, the dog says

“Hey, did you know that we dogs have a sixth sense?”
“Really?” The man says
“Sure. That’s how we know when there are storms coming. That’s how...

It's a sixth sense

I can usually tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes.

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Guy has a tapeworm in his intestine and tries many doctors but everybody fails to remove.Finally he tries an alternative doctor whom everybody recommended heavily and visits him.

The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The patient is confused but does as he’s told.

The next day he shows up with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s ass.

The doctor then says ...

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The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to...

Sixth sense

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa.” Father said, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?” The little girl said, “I don’t know, daddy. It just s...

For my sixth cake day I was going to just repost someone elses cake day joke.

But then I thought to myself...

Nah, I'm batter than that!

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

The name of the sixth Norwegian king?

VI KING

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A science teacher asks her class of sixth graders, “students, what is a part of the body that when stimulated can grow ten times its size?”

Tattletale Susan gets angry in the back and yells, “teacher, that’s a dirty question! You can’t be asking questions like that! I’m gonna have my parents tell the principal and we’re gonna get you fired!”

The teacher ignores her and repeats the question, “alright class, what is a part of the b...

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Menachem Begin (the sixth Prime Minister of Israel) walks into a bar,

and to his amazement just down the end, talking to the bar-tender is no one but Adolf Hitler himself. Well Begin thought to himself, this is my chance to find out what makes this guy tick.

So he goes up to him and says, “Hitler, what the hell you doing here?”

Hitler looks over at Mena...

The Sixth Sense really shocked me.

Bruce Willis with hair?!?!

What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common?

Their careers ended after seeing dead people.

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On the Sixth Day, God created Man

A little later, Adam and Steve approached God in the garden.

"Hey God," said Adam.

"Adam, Steve, you've been doing a good job naming the animals. I am particularly fond of 'hippopotamus.'"

"The unicornth are my favorite!" Steve added.

"Actually, we're here about a possib...

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Sixth-grade teacher

Mrs. Fisher, the sixth-grade teacher, tells the class that today they’re going to have a spelling bee.
Instructing the first kid to stand up, she asks, “Robert, what does your father do for a living? Say
it nice and clearly, and then spell it out.”
“My father’s a baker,” answers Robert. “B-...

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A sixth grade boy named Timmy was in charge of taking his little brother to school..

A sixth grade boy named Timmy was in charge of taking his little brother to school for the first day of kindergarten. As Timmy got on the school bus, the bus driver stopped Timmy and said, "Timmy, who's that?" while pointing at his little brother.

"That's my little brother," said Timmy qui...

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Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
Created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart with wit.
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold.
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin
Usin...

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The wives and husbands stores

There's a store somewhere in a small town that advertises selling ready-to-go husbands for women who wish to settle down. One day a woman walks in looking for a husband.

As she walks in, she sees a sign that says "Welcome to Husbands 'R Us! This store has 6 floors. On each floor you will fin...

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Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class:

"Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Mary st...

Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman?

Because he was a VI KING.

Dave has died and is waiting in the queue to get into heaven.

As he draws ever closer to St Peter he can hear him asking people the same question.

"Denomination?" he asks a little old lady as she reaches the front of the queue.

"Methodist", she replies.

St Peter checks his notes and directs her to the eighth door on the left.

"Pleas...

The universe's greatest villain acquired his sixth Infinity Stone, and in the snap of a finger...

...half the NFL's fans stopped caring.

HUSBANDS FOR SALE !!!

A store that sells husbands has just opened,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper a...

So, an infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter, the fourth orders an eighth, and the fifth orders a sixteenth. The sixth mathematician is about to speak up when the bartender interrupts him and puts two pints on the bar, saying "You guys don't know y...

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

My friend was about to jump off of the balcony of my sixth floor apartment. I yelled “Don’t do it!...

... You have too much potential.”

And God said to John, "Come forth and claim eternal life."

He came sixth instead, but got a new TV for his troubles.

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First Blowjob

A young man walks into a bar, orders five shots of whisky, and quickly downs them all.

The bartender says, "Whoa there buddy. That's a lot of shots. What's going on?"

The man replies, "First blowjob today."

The bartender says, "Well congratulations! I'll tell you what, have anot...

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A guy goes to the bar and orders 5 shots of Whiskey....

....the bartender asks, “Is the rest of the party parking, or...?”

Guy replies, “No, actually, they’re all for me. Had my first blow job today.”

Bartender says, “No shit! Lemme line up a sixth, on the house!”

Guy says, “Don’t bother, if five don’t kill the taste, nothing will.”

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A guy walks into a bar

and orders a round of beer. After about his sixth or seventh round his wife comes storming into the bar. "You disgust me!" she screams. "That's right, we sure did," the guy replies. "We all agreed that you are too uptight and tend to be a little bitchy."

Tax.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The se...

Every 5 out of 6 people say Russian Roulette is fun...

I wonder why the sixth guy hates it

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A JFK conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. "Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."

Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, "Who really shot Kennedy?"

God replies, "Lee Harvey Oswald shot him from sixth floor ...

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A bricklayer has an accident at work and is being investigated, as the insurance company doesn't believe his injuries are real. They demand that he send them a description of the accident.

So he writes:

"I'm a bricklayer by trade. I had finished building the guard rail on the roof of the building. I use a barrel and pulley system to raise supplies up to the roof, and loaded the barrel up with the leftover bricks and my tools, weighing approximately 300 lbs, and then went below ...

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes:

"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher called on Little...

The Story of Creation as told by Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that ma...

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A priest and a businessman were playing golf.

The businessman stepped up to tee and swung hard but missed

"Fucking goddamn to hell!" he swore.

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, my son." said the priest, wagging a finger.

The sky darkened a little, but the two men didn't notice.

Three times again the businessman...

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My friend told me excessive masturbation can lead to memory loss.

It’s the sixth time he’s told me.

Stalin and the sneezer

Stalin is giving a long speech at an event, naturally in front of a huge audience. While he's in full flow, somebody near the front of the hall sneezes. Stalin stops and surveys the crowd.

"Who sneezed?" he asks.

Deathly silence.

"I repeat," says Stalin, "who sneezed?"

N...

If I had a penny for every time a girl asked me out..

I’d have 5 cents.

She said if I came back inside her house a sixth time she would call the cops.

A guy told his friend "do you want to hear an edgy joke"?

His friend started laughing immediately.

"Hold on," said the guy, "I haven't told it yet. You don't even know if it's going to be funny. It might be offensive."

"I'm sure it's going to be funny" his friend said, still laughing. "I've always had a sixth sense of humor."

5 out of 5 people enjoy Russian Roulette.

There was supposed to be a sixth, but he never got back to me about his experience.

A kid comes up to me to show me a nickel he had just found...

He then says he could tell my fortune if I gave him a penny. I gave him a penny and he told me my fortune, “You are going to laugh within the next few minutes.”
Confused, I asked how he could know this. He held out his hand with the coins in his palm and said, “I’ve got this sixth cents.”
He ...

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So this redneck is walking in the park when he sees his friend Joe.

Joe is crying his eyes out so the redneck walks up and says why are you crying. And Joe is like, my father died. And the redneck starts weeping bitter tears himself and he is like omg I'm so sorry how did he die.

And so Joe says, my father fell asleep on his armchair while the fire in the hea...

A young blonde woman wants to go to the movies with one of her friends, but none of them are available, so she decides to go by herself.

"Please be careful," says her brunette roommate. "I went to the movies once by myself, and I had to change my seat thrice because I kept finding myself sitting next to a man who tried to make out with me."

"Don't worry!" replies the blonde. "I'll be careful!"

When the blonde comes back...

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An American spy is sent into the Soviet Union

His name is John Smith and he has been training for this moment the last five years. He has perfectly mastered the Russian language and accent, can sing the Soviet anthem from memory and knows everything about Russian history.

In 1971, sixth of October, 3 AM local time he parachutes to the ou...

A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room....

and said to himself every so often, "Boy, I hope I'm sick!"

After about the fifth or sixth time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer, and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?"

The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel this bad."

I’ve washed my hands so much

That I uncovered a cheat sheet from the sixth grade.

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A math professor, John, is having problem with his sink.

So he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber: “How can you charge this much? This is half my paycheck.” But he pays it anyway.


The plumber tells him: “Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. Yo...

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A scientist was experimenting on a cockroach..

A scientist was experimenting on a cockroach..

He pulls out one leg of cockroaches leg each time and let him free and says go...

The scientist notes down the result,

1- cockroach can run when one leg was pulled out.

2- cockroach can run when the second leg was pulled ...

Hillary Clinton is giving a lesson about the world at a gifted-student primary school in New York

After her talk she offers to answer questions from the kids.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.

"Kenny," he says.

"And what is your question, Kenny?" she asks.

"I have four questions," he says. "First -- what happened in Benghazi? Second -...

A man is staring intently at a penny. A woman watches him confusedly for a moment before asking what he's doing. "Well," he says, "I have a nickel in my pocket..."

"... so this must be my sixth cents."

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