This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Justin told me my mama was so fat she had a gravitational orbit ...

I told him he doesn’t understand how physics works, cause everyone has a gravitational orbit.

Then I informed him his dad is so massive that his gravitational orbit is so large, not even light can escape it — and that’s why he hasn’t seen his dad in 20 years!

What's a fish in orbit?

trouter space

A planet is a celestial body that is in orbit around a star, has sufficient gravity to make itself round and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit.

That’s why Pluto isn't a planet but your mum is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the one about the astronaut masturbating for ninety minutes in orbit?

He came full circle.

The Chinese have lost control of their space station, Tiangong-1, which is falling out of orbit as it descends toward Earth,..

but, sure, nobody listened to me before, when I pointed out their red flag

What do you call a potato orbiting Earth?

Spudnik.

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum.

They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit?

It was the herd shot round the world.

The Test

After about 1.8 trillion times a planet circled their star, the life-forms that evolved there launched a small craft with an artificial likeness of themselves into orbit. It was done to show that they could and because it amused them. Years later, after they made their planet uninhabitable, they lef...

An Engineer, a Physicist and an A&P Aircraft Mechanic

An Engineer, a Physicist and an A&P aircraft mechanic were all having an argument as to who was the smartest. One of them proposed a contest to settle the matter once and for all.

For the contest, they would lock each of them in a room with three ball bearings for one week. At the end of...

The Falcon Heavy is now the world’s most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Galileo Galilei Invented the Thermoscope Which is the Forerunner of the Rectal Thermometer.

Galileo also created the theory of heliocentric orbits by studying near planets like Mercury. This led to the discovery of further planets like Uranus.

This is a man who found two different ways to apply Mercury to Uranus.

What is a planet's favorite type of gum?

Orbit

It's the year 1987...

Last year the space station Mir appeared to be launched into orbit. The key word being appeared. The space station is actually just a hologram designed to fool the United States! Right here on Earth exists a tiny scale replica, containing tiny versions of every item that would go up in a real shuttl...

NASA sends Blonde to space.

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, "Monkey #1, do you know your mission?"

The monkey replies, "ooah ooah!. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar sat...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping

One night Holmes and Watson decide to go camping. They set up their tent and fall asleep. After hearing a noise in the middle of the night they both wake up.

Holmes points up and asks Watson what he is able to deduce. Watson looks at the sky at sees thousands of stars. Watson says "Given the...

Moon race

During Cold War when the space race was at its highest. Following is an report of communication between Houston and US moon rocket.

USMR: Houston, we see the SSSR ship approaching the Moon.

Houston: You have your orders. Just wait.

USMR: Houston, the SSSR ship is in the Moon orb...

Good Point!

An American, Russian and a Pol are sitting in a bar having a few drinks. The Russian stands up and proclaims "We Russians are the best because we were first to send a satellite into orbit!” The American stands up and say's “That's nothing. We Americans were first to put a man on the Moon!” The Pol s...

The US has avoided disaster..

by electing Donald Trump, our country's cumulative sigh of relief that surely would've thrown our planet out of its orbit and into the sun, has been avoided.

You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.

They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.

It was a herd shot round the world.

Yo mama's so fat...

... that if you walk too close to her, you'll go into orbit.

What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut?

An *orbit*-tuary!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.