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Help! I'm lost at sea. I'm somewhere between America and Japan

I can't be anymore pacific

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way...

Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

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A guy is lost in the forest, when suddenly a vampire jumps from behind a tree

A guy is lost in the forest, when suddenly a vampire jumps from behind a tree. "I'm thirsty", says the vampire, "I'm going to to bite you in the neck and drink your blood!"

"Nooo!!!" cries the man, "Please don't! I have a wife and kids! I'm too young to die!"

"I don't care" says the va...

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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!"

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

I lost my home because I threw a house warming party.

I miss my igloo.

A woman who injected her 8-year-old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.

Reports say the child didn't look surprised.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!".

The lion abruptly stops and says " Woah! This guy seems tougher then he l...

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Three men get lost in the woods...

As they search for a path out together they accidentally stumble into the part of the woods ruled by fairies. The fairy King is not impressed with intruders and orders them executed. They beg for their lives and the King decides they shall complete a two part challenge to be shown the way out.
<...

Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.

The steaks has never been higher.

What do you call a magician whose lost all his magic?

Ian......

I lost my job at the zoo recently.

There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.

I lost my job at the bank...

Turns out you're not supposed to push customers if they ask you to check their balance.

There was a man lost his favorite hat.

There was a man lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule.

When he got there, an usher saw him walk in, and escorted him directly to a pew. The man was too embarrassed to get up right away, so he sat and listened ...

I can't see the end, I've lost control, I've no home, and I don't think there's an escape.

It's probably about time I bought a new keyboard.

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A Knight, a Samurai, and a Viking are lost in a desert.

They see someone in the distance, and as they draw closer, they realise it's a buck naked woman in a crusader's helmet with a samurai sword on her back.

The knight exclaims, "Look at her helm. Surely she is of my people! "

The samurai says "Nay! See the sword. She is obviously from Ja...

I was stumbling my way back to my airbnb near Anchorage, Alaska at 2 am and got a little lost.

I came to a graveyard and realized where I was staying was just on the other side, so I figured I'd just cut through. As I approached the graveyard I came across 3 young ladys, nicely dressed and in high heels. They were also looking to also cross the graveyard and seemed to have a fun night out the...

Husband lost his wife

Husband: I lost my wife, she was shopping and has not come back yet.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: I'm not sure a suit maybe or dress i don't know.

Inspector: What her weight?

Husband: I don;t know i have never checked.

Inspector: Slim/ tall/ healthy....

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Two guys lost in the woods [NSFW]

Two hunters are lost in the woods and looking for a way back to town. As they wander through the forest they come upon train tracks. It's decided that one would follow it south, the other would follow north. If neither found civilization after five miles, they would turn around and meet back up.
...

Vincent, did it hurt when you lost you ear?

No, I cut it off in One Gogh.

What mythical creature always gets lost?

A where-wolf

I don't have tags for my dog, but I bought her a phone in case she got lost. She ran away today.

I really should collar.


Also, Lost: Seeing Eye Dog

Last Seen: Never

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A man lost his job at the pickle factory...

He comes home to his wife and confesses...”honey I got fired from my
Job today.” “Oh no” she exclaims, “what happened?” “I stuck my penis in the pickle slicer” he says. “Oh my god” cried his wife, “will they have to replace the pickle slicer?” She asks. “Probably” he says, “she got fired too.”

I was real upset when I lost my nonbinary friend at the store

But I felt better when someone told me "They're there"

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Lost my watch on the floor of a party

Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost in a minefield?

Everywhere

Tom lost a foot in a traffic accident.

Years later, he fell in love with Mary. Tom didn't tell Mary his disability, worrying that she might leave him.

Tom loved Mary so much that he proposed to her and she said yes.

The next day after the wedding, Mary called her mother angrily : " My husband has only one foot "

...

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, y...

What do you call a tree that recently lost a loved one?

Mourning wood

I lost the ability to hear on my left ear this morning

Thankfully my hearing is all right now.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You m...

A guy lost his finger in an accident at work.

When he got to the hospital he called his wife and said "Hey honey I'm OK but I cut my finger off at work".

"The whole finger?" she asked

"No" he replied, "the one next to it."

I lost my job as a personal trainer recently, I’m just not strong enough.

So I put in my too weak notice.

I lost 100 pounds!

I guess the casino really does always win.

A man is lost in an island. Suddenly he finds himself surrounded by cannibals.

The cannibals are closing in and the man says, in absolute desperation, "Oh god, I am screwed". To his surprise, god replies -

"No, you are not. Do you see that large stone?"

"Yes."

"Pick it up and smash it on the head of the chief."

"Are you sure god?"

"Yes. Pick...

I lost my mood ring the other say…

I don’t know how I feel about it.

In last night's high winds I lost 25%of my roof....

oof...

How'd the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down.

A traveling salesman had got lost one day while driving through the Midwest farm country. So he stopped at a farm house for directions.

While the farmer was giving the salesman directions, he noticed all the farm animals were penned except a 3 legged pig roaming around the farm yard.

Curious the salesman asked the farmer what was the story about the 3 legged pig.

"Why this is no ordinary pig. In fact he's quite amazing...

Coach after a lost match: I told you to play like never before...

Not like you never played before!

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Gary and Pete, 2 alcoholics, were lost at sea.

While floating in their small boat, they spotted a bottle on the water.
Gary quickly grabbed the bottle and took out the cork.
To his shock, a genie flew out.
"You have freed me. You may have a wish."
Gary thought hard and pointed at the sea.
"Turn all this water into Guiness."
...

Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance!

All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.

Just found- Lost Scriptures from the Book of Paul.

It is Good Friday and there are multitudes of people gathered around Mt. Calvary wailing, worshiping, and witnessing the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, now nailed to the cross atop this hill for all to see. Jesus cries out, "Paul...Paul... Paaaulll.." Paul hears this and to prove he is a good disciple...

One time I was alone and got lost in downtown Chicago, and got jumped by four black guys.

They were real nice, car started right up, and they even gave me directions back to the interstate.

My drug-selling friend got in a car crash and lost an arm, so now he only has use of one hand.

He's slowly dealing with it.

Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door

and I just kept playing

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There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russ ...

I've lost 20% of my sight

Sigh…

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Went for a walk with my new girlfriend

and we saw dogs mating.

She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"

I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works."

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram kn...

What did the duck say when he lost his wallet?

Quap

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want ...

My British friend told me he lost 50 pounds.

He seemed really upset when I congratulated him.

What did the baker say when he found his lost dough?

That’s exactly what I kneaded!

My son lost a youth baseball game because of heavy rain...

...he received a precipitation trophy

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You go hiking with your best friend Terry. Both of you get lost, and Terry is mauled to death by a bear.

You bury Terry in a shallow grave and try to find your way back to civilization. However you end up walking in circles and days later, you find yourself at the exact same spot.

By this time, you've exhausted your supply of water and are severely dehydrated. Then you realize that Terry was ...

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I just lost my virginity.

The experience changed me completely. It absolutely altered my self-image.

It's like I have entered another body.

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The shepherd and the lost goat

A TV crew was filming a documentary in a small mountain village, and for their ending sequence they wanted to interview one of the many shepherds around.

\- So, could you tell us about a happy memory being a shepherd here?
\- A happy memory... mmmh... Yes, see, there was that time. A goa...

What do you call a pirate/noble gas that lost the pirate accent

Arrr-gone

I saw a crying kid and asked him where his parents were.

And that's how I lost my job at the orphanage.

What do you call a mexican who lost his car?

Carlos

Kid: Hey Dad, I lost my phone...

Dad: Hang on, I’ll call your number and we can listen for the ring.

Kid: Great idea, but could you call Gramma and ask her to call my phone?

Dad: Why Gramma?

Kid: It’ll come back if boomer rang.

A guy lost his fingers in an accident at work.

He rushed to the hospital and made his way to the emergency ward.

When he arrived the doctor came in and said, "Not to fret, Mr. Roberts, with the technology of today and advances in medicine, we can easily reattach your fingers and you'll be able to return to work in a couple of days. Now.....

My friend was obviously upset, so I asked her what was wrong. She said they lost her brother last night.

Apparently, "Why aren't you out looking for him?" was not the reply she expected.

A skeleton lost his funny bone.

It was quite humerus.

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Fifteen Bucks

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.

So he went out to the front of the...

- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…

\- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…

\- Son, don't panic, it's only 2 kilograms, no big deal.

\- Well, there are some Colombians who'd disagree with you mom…

Mr. Johnson decided to go yachting one day, when he became lost.

After being out at sea for three days, Mr. Johnson looked up and saw a huge cruise ship sailing towards him. The enormous ship halted next to the yacht.

"Thank goodness you showed up!" shouted Mr. Johnson. "I've been lost for three days."

The captain looked down from the ship and said,...

What do call a Cougar that has lost her hearing?

A Def Leppard

A freighter carrying a shipment of whiskey from Scotland lost power and was blown onto the rocks in Nova Scotia. The entire cargo was lost.

it left no tern unstoned.

A man on his death bed was speaking with his wife.

"Helen," he said, "we've been through so much together. Do you remember when the shop burned down, and we lost everything of value we had in this world. We had to start over from nothing, but you were by my side."

His wife solemnly replied "I remember, dear."

"Helen," he continued, "wh...

I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'...

The result was 'This page cannot be found.'

Once upon a time, there was a pirate who never lost a battle...

He was so courageous. His strategy was simple, lead by example, as long as he was at the front of the battle his crew were motivated.

But he had a trick up his sleeve. A new crew member joins this pirate to study him as he is so fascinated by his victories.

First battle comes along, hi...

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A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're ...

Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.

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My small grandson got lost in the shopping mall.... (NSFW-ish)

My small grandson got lost in the shopping mall....

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"

The guard asked, "What's his name?"

"Grandpa"

The guard smiles then asked, "What's he like?"

The boy hesitated for a moment then replies,...

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[NSFW] Why did one boob feel lost without the other?

because she lost her iden-tity

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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up onto the sidewalk, and stopped inches away from a lady with a baby stroller. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Hey, don't ever do that again. You scared the crap out of me!"

The passeng...

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A reporter went to a small village...

And asked one of the villagers, "hey could you tell me a story about your village?" The villager says "well one time a neighbors goat got lost in the mountains, and we all got together to look for it, and then we found it. We all celebrated and drank and then we all had sex with the goat".

T...

Where do you go to find something you lost at a laundromat?

The washed and found

I was sorry to hear you lost your job for sleeping with one of your clients...

That sucks, you were a great veterinarian

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Last weekend I got really drunk at a bar and lost my virginity with a cougar

The zookeeper was pretty quick to get the cops on scene and arrest me.

A mother asked her son to lose their cat somewhere in the jungle.

The boy obeyed. The boy returned home and reported to his mom.

Son: Mom! I led the cat far into the jungle. I even got lost!!

Mother: How were you able to come back home?

Son: I followed the cat.

A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped in the woods. Finally, the trio realize they are lost and decide to hunker down and make camp. They're hungry and decide to hunt.

The brunette goes first and comes back with a rabbit. The blonde and redhead are impressed.

"How'd you do that?" they ask.

"Simple," replies the brunette. "Found tracks, followed tracks, got a rabbit."

It's the redhead's turn next, and she ventures out and comes back with a moos...

Two atoms are talking and one says "I think I lost an electron."

The other atom says "Are you sure?" The first atom replys "Yes, I'm positive!"

Yo mama so ugly

She entered a Miss America pageant and nearly lost her citizenship.

What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?

A good start. HOLD the LINE.

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A guy lost his penis in an accident and there were no suitable donors...

A guy lost his penis in an accident and there were no suitable donors, so the only available option to the surgeon was to attach a baby elephant's trunk. After the surgery and healing process, the guy is ready to start dating again. He's out on his 1st date since the accident and while at the dinn...

My friend David lost his ID

Now we just call him Dav

My daughter was born this morning, July 4th.

It’s the day I lost my independence.



(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).

Two men are lost in the desert when they spot a tree covered in bacon.

One of the men exclaims "a bacon tree! we're saved". However as he rushes over to it he dies in a hail of bullets. It turns out that it wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

I Lost My Hat

One Sunday before a church service, a priest notices a man sitting in a pew who he has not seen in years.

The priest approaches and says, "Wow! I can't remember the last time I saw you here! What brings you here today?"

The man replies, "Good morning, father! Well you see, ten years ag...

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Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Nathan


the Erudite lawyer, the King's chief adviser....

How to find a lost iPhone

1) Google "Find my phone"

2) Enter Apple's site

3) Login to your account

4) Confirm verification code sent to your phone...

(not a joke, a real story)

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Im proud to announce, that I officially lost my virginity

God I wish I could post this in another subreddit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lost my belly button in a freak accident.

The doctor told me not to worry. He said I could get a new one from the navel reserve.

Why don’t pirates know the alphabet?

Because they get lost at C

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Three men are lost in the southwestern U.S. when they see a strange figure near a cliff.

They approach the figure and he introduces himself. “I am the magical genie of Arizona. When you go over this cliff, say something you desire. I will summon it for you to land on at the bottom of the cliff.” The men are a little uncertain.

The first one peers over the edge of the cliff and f...

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? ... Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.... Older Woman: Oh, I see. ... Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: You don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and...

I went to the doctors yesterday and unfortunately he told me i lost 20% of my sight

Sigh...

A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...

“Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.”

That didn’t sound right, so he tried again.

“Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.”

That still didn’t sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:

“Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you’re at it...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer play golf.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer are out playing a round of golf. Partway through their game, they realize that the group in front is taking forever to move through the course. Frustrated, they ask the groundskeeper what's going on. The groundskeeper, visibly emotional, says:

"Well, I'm af...

I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage

Guess what, I lost the case

What do you tell someone who just lost their vehicle?

“Walk it off”

It was going to be a long road trip. I popped on my headphones, pulled up a movie on my phone, and got lost in the action as the car headed down the highway.

The passengers probably wished that I'd waited until I wasn't driving to do that.

I lost 125 lbs with this one simple trick.

I broke up with my girlfriend.

Have you heard of the man who lost his entire left side?

He’s alright now.

I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my dummy.

Now I'm just a schizophrenic.

My administrative assistant is suing me. She walked into my office last week and said, “it looks like you’ve lost weight!”

All I said was, “thanks for bringing it back”.

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A frustrated wife goes to the doctor (long)

"Doctor, you have to help me. I've been married 30 years to my husband and I feel he's lost all interest in me. You know, phisically speaking. He barely looks at me, let alone have sex with me. Oh, I really miss the good old times where we had wonderful sex multiple times a week, there must be somet...

What do you call a person who never gets lost?

A Roads Scholar.

My son & I got lost in the desert

We started arguing about which direction to go, and he stormed off in a huff.

An hour later, I came across his body, being eaten by a vulture.

Carrion, my wayward son.

A man heard his friend had lost two wives in two years. He felt bad so he called to give his condolences. He asked "how'd your first wife die?" "She ate poison mushrooms." "What about you second wife?" "She died of blunt trauma to the head." "Why would that have happened?''

"She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

Five year old Little Johnny was lost....

so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"


The policeman said, "What's he like?"


Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, ...

You're lost in the middle of the woods at night, alone. The sky is cloudy, there are no trails, no map, no cell phone and no GPS. No sign of a city in any direction. How do you get back to civilization?

You tell an old joke out loud, wait a couple of minutes and follow any of the angry redditors shouting "repost!" back to civilization.

A dog lost its tail.

So it went to the retail center.

A man is lost in the desert

After wandering for a long time he finds a magic lamp and summons a genie.

- You have three wishes. Choose wisely. - says the genie.
- I want a beer!

A beer appears and the man drinks it immediately.

- Now I... I want a big house, with a beautiful car inside.
- Granted! Wh...

I just lost a lot of money to a con-artist

He had this great pitch about investing in an innovative company that could identify male sheep by their urine. Turns out it was a pee-ram-id scheme.

Who lost the debate last night?

America

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A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and is lost

So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:

"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?"

- "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you'r...

Did you hear about that guy that lost his ear in a construction accident?

They reconstructed it from pig skin, the sound quality is good but there's still a little bit of crackling...

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When I lost my virginity, I didn't wear a condom.

I wore a wristwatch. Because it was about fucking time.

Dear all, I am sending this to help search for my lost deep hole of water.

I hope this email finds you, Well.

My pet spider lost two of her legs

It’s really bugging her

What did the Russian man say when he lost internet connection?

"internyet!"

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well, tell me!” the man said.

The policeman said: “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wi...

I’ve lost a small fortune on my last 3 horse racing bets.

Firstly, ‘Sunshine’ threw the jockey,
Then, ‘moonlight’ fell at the first hurdle,
And finally, ‘good times’ finished last.

I blame it on the bookie.

When I was a little boy my dad lost his job..

.. because they invented a little gadget that could do his job, only better and faster.

As soon as my mum heard of this she ran out and bought one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car...

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a

car...



... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heise...

Church Bell Ringer

A man died after a long career as the local church bell ringer. The priest, looking for a replacement put out word far and wide but received only one applicant, a man with no arms. Initially the priest was hesitant but the man assured him he could do it. He ran up into the belfry, put his head int...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy was the first person in his small town to go to college.

After he’d been there a few weeks, he lost all his money at a fraternity card game. He thought about his options and had an idea.

His father had just written him to ask how things were going. Billy wrote back and said, “Dad, you won’t BELIEVE what they can do at this school! They can teach...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i lost my virginity today.

my exams fucked me up

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