Click here for a good old fashioned vampire joke.

Ha ha ha. You sucker.

My ex broke up with me because she said I was too old fashioned

I thought we had good alchemy

My parents are old fashioned. When I was a boy they wanted me to play baseball.

And When I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist

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A man is staying at an old fashioned pub/inn

Downstairs in the tavern he is drinking before retiring to his room. The innkeep approaches him and proposes a challenge. He has a magical chicken that will grant him one wish if he can beat her in a trivia contest. The man is bemused but accepts the challenge, figuring there’s no harm in indulging ...

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

Call me old fashioned but my favorite HTML attributes are still colspan and rowspan

I just love me some big TD’s!

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

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A new farmer from the city

He's given up on city life and dropped everything and bough 20 acres in the country.

The problem is he doesn't know anything about farming. So he goes to the feed store to ask some friendly farmers for some help in the right direction.

Luckily an old farmer there is happy to see youn...

People keep talking about these "safe spaces". Well, call me old fashioned but I'm going to keep on calling them what they REALLY are...

Banks

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

If “ire” is an old fashioned synonym for anger,

Is Ireland the land of angry people?

I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way

Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people

My friend is old fashioned. Before proposing to his girlfriend, he asked her father.

But he was already married.

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee:

Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

I never order shrimp-fried rice.

Call me old fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.

An old lady walks into a brothel

An old lady walks into a brothel looking to pay for some old fashioned good times. The clerk at the desk says they offer three rooms for service.
The first room is just a cement floor for 25$
The second room has a normal bed for 50$
The third room has a waterbed for 100$
After thin...

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A man went to the doctor to inquire about options for penis enlargement...

"Doc," he said, "you've got to help me. My penis is miniscule. It always has been. The other boys used to make fun of me in the locker room, girls I dated would laugh at me as soon as we got to the bedroom... I experienced nothing but humiliation my whole life, until I met my wife, god bless her. Sh...

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What do you call six men having anal sex with a woman in the back of an old fashioned car?

Shitty Shitty Gang Bang!

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.

Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!

Shut up and eat what you're told.

Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Honestly, I'm scarre...

My girlfriend said that I was too old-fashioned.

So I beheaded her.

I’ll never join one of those online dating services because I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way...

Through alcohol and poor judgement...

I have a joke about a pirate lady who got hit in the chest by a cannonball and needed some good old-fashioned pirate surgery

But it would be funnier with a punchline, wooden tit?

I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.

I'd much prefer a cup of C++.

We gave our children old-fashioned names...

Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley

We're celebrating Thanksgiving the old fashioned way at my place this year

By inviting our neighbors over to eat and then killing them and taking their land

The Heavy Weight World Champion belt will no longer be fashioned to look like a large watch.

They realized it was just a huge waist of time.

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

I wanted to send over an invoice to the Westboro Baptist Church using an old-fashioned method of communication, but they told me...

God hates fax.

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way

We urn it.

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

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A young girl was about to get married.

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.

"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl a...

I made my money the old-fashioned way...

I used a printing press

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A man calls his boss one morning, and says..

“Hey boss, i’m sorry but I don’t think i’ll be able to make it today. I’m feeling really under the weather.”

His boss, a pretty old fashioned man, replies:

“Listen here, mister. Whenever I feel under the weather, I go see my wife, and tell her to polish my knob, grease my engines and d...

I once spent ten years marooned on a tropical shore...

I lived on nothing but coconuts and seafood. I fashioned sandals out of leaves, a hut out of grass and sticks, and I kept myself healthy with wild plants. One day I was scouring the beach for copper wire to build the radio I was working on, and I came across a small white spheroid about 2" in diamet...

A man walked into a bar and orders a drink...

“What’ll you have?” asks the bartender

Man - Anything but a Bud Light
So the bartender pours him a Jack and Coke

After a while the man again requests a drink.

Bartender - what will it be this time?
Man - Anything but a Bud Light
After then finishing his Old Fashioned, t...

I asked my daughter for the news

I asked my daughter to bring me the newspaper. she said I'm too old fashioned and brought me her iPhone. Not getting too much into details, the fly is now dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is crying

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant to eat and they have a dress code.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

**Host** Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

**Host** Alright.... I guess you ha...

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There was a baby boy born without eyelids ...

To remedy his everlasting stare, when it came time to purge the foreskin, it was fashioned into a new set of eyelids. I guess that's what it means to be cockeyed.

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