What’s the most popular style of car to drive in Africa?

A sudan

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old,...

A man is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of an old, shanty style house that says - “Talking dog for sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog t...

What is Quarantine's favorite style of music?

House.

How does Moses style his hair?

With a parting

What is Donald’s favorite car style ?

A Coupe

PSA: Hindsight is officially out of style

It's sooooo 2020.

Anyone want to help start a new conspiracy theory themed cafeteria style restaurant?

We’ll call it “Queue A Nom Nom”

If slow zombies like Walking Dead happened then I'm gonna need a lot of bullets. If 28 Days Later style Rage Virus zombies happen...

then I only need one bullet.

I ask my wife if we could try to do it doggy style...

She rolled over and played dead

Ive noticed recently that I can guess what style of facial hair someone has behind their mask.

I think I might be hairvoyant

Funeral, MLM style

The guy who cofounder Amway died, age 92. Eight people will carry his casket, but 16 more will have to carry them.

My wife dosent like doggy style anymore

Because last time while fetching the ball she fell into the lake

How do you get a kidney stone?

By living a sedimentary life style.

My wife said there’s no way in hell she’d ever allow me do doggie style.

but I did it behind her back anyway.

What's a poor artist's favourite style?

Baroque.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try doggy style. Naturally I was enthusiastic.

Until she pulled out the strap on.

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My wife and I only have sex one way

It's so boring just the one way we have sex. It's called doggy style.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

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My GF broke up with me over a misunderstanding when we tried a new sexual position

Apparently, her "doggy style" doesn't involve any real dog

Why does a Chicago-style hot dog always lose races?

Because it refuses to ketchup.

My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed

In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.

In my efforts to come up with a unique style of music, I tried to mesh together the elements of Jazz and Funk.

But it just sounded like junk.

Do you know why Canadian women like it doggie style?

They want to watch the hockey match, too.

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Had sex with the wife for 30 minutes doggy style

last night. That's about 4 minutes in human time.

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A group of five park wardens decided to start a band together...

... They all agreed on playing music of a rock subgerne kind, mixed in with symphonic elements, fantasy based subject matter and strong choruses. However they could not agree on a specific aesthetic, as each one of them turned up for their first practice session with a different color scheme.
...

Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

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Did you know it's a sin to have sex before marriage?

Except if you do it doggy style...as all dogs go to heaven.

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If your sexual experience would be reviewed in trip advisor style, what would it be?

Be the first to give a review

A man moved to New York from India and he opened a lunch counter where he served traditional Indian foods and sandwiches to go. He decorated it in Indian style to remind him of his home city and hired his friends and neighbors from the old country to work there.

You might say he was setting up a little Delhi.

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A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals....

So there was this king in Hawaii living in a straw thatch style palace whose hobby was collecting thrones...

Anytime some local carpenter created a new ornate chair, he had to have it for his collection. The guy was wild about them, it was his one true passion in life.

Well one day, lightning strikes during a thunderstorm and his palace burns down including his entire collection. He was crushed, ne...

A Jamaican man has stormed into my hairdressers and demanded I give him a new style.

I'm dreading it.

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NSFW Two guys are on a camping trip...

And on the last day, they can't decide on what to do. So one decides he'll go for a lonely walk in the forest, while the other goes to a mountain lake.

When they meet up in the evening, the forest guy is "Hey, how did your day go?"

"Awesome. I went to this mountain lake, and there was...

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....


NAME - Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be a...

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Young Paddy

A young Irish man called Paddy wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.

They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Donegal and he lived in Kerry .

Paddy consulted with his Sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good qua...

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Why Do Canadians Always Make Love Doggie-Style?

So they don't miss the hockey game.

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When it comes to sex I've never seen a disappointed look on any woman's face.

That's the advantage of doggie style.

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I call my style of sex the fast and furious

I finish too fast and she gets furious.

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I went to a prostitute and asked her if I could do her Greek style. "Sure" she said

So I fucked her in the ass and left without paying.

My attempt at a Rodney Dangerfield-style joke:

I tell ya, I get no respect. Last night, my wife said she wanted to try a new restaurant. I asked her what was wrong with what we had at home.

She said everything at home was old and stale, and the food wasn’t great either.

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Did you hear about the black man whose hair style put ladies in the mood for love?

He has an afro-disiac

3 pregnant women are having lunch together when an elderly lady approaches them.........

The elderly lady says: I can predict if you will have a boy or girl......

The Brunette says OK.....Will I have a boy or girl?????

The lady says...You were on top...you will have a boy....

The Brunette yells out.....I was on top and I am having a boy.

The elderly lady goes...

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An old sex joke: A conversation between a doc and a patient

"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sex?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy cow!"
"Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh...

I'm starting a band who will sing songs in the style of Boy George that publicly shame bad behavior and call for boycotts of questionable opinions...

...It's called Cancel Culture Club.

I made up a dad-style musician joke:

Q. What is Donald Trump's least favorite guitar chord?

A. G7

Chicago style pizza changes you

I use to like New York style pizza

Till I tasted Chicago style pizza

Now, I love New York style pizza

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My boyfriend wants to do doggy style.

He's been on my ass about it all day.

Stephen kings writing style is...

Novel.

Poker

Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! "Dad!" says Johnny, "What are you doing!" Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says "Well, Johnny, I'm playing poker...and your m...

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An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

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I asked my girlfriend if she would like to go out with her friends on Saturday to get a couple of pairs of new shoes, get your hair done in a different style, then go out for a couple of rounds of Chardonnay.

“That sounds great!”

“Good, because we are breaking up.”

-Jimmy Carr

I went to a benihana-style bar on a plane.

The cook was a sky wokker.

...customer asked for Alabama Style Chicken Sandwich!

**Waitress:** ...in bread?

**Customer:** ... I'm not from around here!

How do you make Alabama-style chicken?

Cook it over a dumpster fire and then serve it face down in a pool of its own blood.

Just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from my local takeaway

4 police officers delivered it and fired tear gas through my front door.

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What does Harry Styles call his boner?

Wonder Erection.

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A dog asks a cat : Why do u always hide when having sex ????????

Cat replies: You want people to steal my style like they stole yours?, NEVER!!!!

What was Chip's favorite dance style?

Salsa.

Who’s a hairdresser’s favorite musical artist?

Harry Styles

Generally speaking, there are three different styles of cancan dances, 'French Cancan', 'British Cancan', and 'American Cancan'. In my opinion, French Cancan dances are able to outperform American Cancan dances and American Cancan dances can also outperform British Cancan dances.

In other words, Cancan Cancan can can can can Cancan.

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A class of high school art students are broken into groups...

...and tasked with making silly and creative paintings combining culture with food.

One group decides to paint an Indy race car made out of roti. Another group decides to paint a business suit necktie being grated into cheese. Another group paints Donkey Kong serving up a creepy bowl of banan...

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Studies show that doggy is the most common sex style among married couples.

The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

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A Few Very Important Lessons You Will Learn Only After You Have Kids

A "King Style" water bed contains enough water to turn a 200 Sq m apartment into a 12 cm deep lake.

The voice of a 4 year old can deafen 200 normally talking adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you tie a dog leash to a room fan, the motor of the latter is not powerful enough to lift 23...

Which writing style should come with a mouth censor?

Cursive writing

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Introducing a new joke style: I wish all the ladies

This was a thing we used to do on my sea scout ship after competition. It's a rhyming couplet in the general style of

"I wish all the ladies
Were [XXXX]
And I'd be [YYYY]
And [sex pun]"

A few examples:

I wish all the ladies
Were winds on the sea
And I'd be the sa...

Why do people hate their periods?

It really cramps their style

At first when you came in and ordered glass underwear I though it was a new style...

But now I can see your nuts

Unfortunately my style of humour is reflected in the type of woman I attract.

Dry.

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A Muslim hailed a London cab.

He asked the cab driver to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no Western style music or radios. The cab driver turned off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Muslim asked him "What a...

On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot seated next to him.

He asks the stewardess for a coffee, then the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky, you cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot but forgets the man's coffee. When the man points it out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky, you id...

I just got my period while I was thrift shopping

It really cramping my style.

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The Tale of the Animal Band

So there was this horse, and recently he had gone through some tough times. His wife left him, he lost his job, and rent day was coming ever closer. This is when he had a brainwave: He was going to get his childhood band back together. So the first member to convince was the cow. Now the cow was pre...

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Bartering Australian style

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home.
I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

S...

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The Duck Hunter

A hunter is out in the country one day and waiting for ducks to fly by.

After a while he sees a duck, points his gun and shoots it. The duck falls to the ground onto some farmland nearby. The hunter walks over the the farm and sees a farmer holding the dead duck.

"Hey that's my duck!"...

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Women will keep going back to the same man that hurt them

but will never go back to the hairdresser that fucked up their hair style that one time

Did you hear about the 70s style record company that burned down?

Yeah, it was a disc co. Inferno!

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I told my wife we'd have sex Star Wars style.

Forced through the Dark Side.

[OC] I just spent my morning break writing this joke.

Jeff had spent most of his adult life in prison for a string of drug offenses and theft. He is finally being released at 28 years old after a decade in prison.

He approaches his jailhouse lover, Vince, a former English teacher and schoolboy fondler. Vince was a little sad to say goodbye, and...

A high school senior was preparing for his prom...

He knew that the first thing he needed was a tuxedo. So he went to get a rental.

But his town was very small, and there was only one tux rental place nearby. Therefore, when he arrived he had to wait for three of his classmates to pick out their rentals before he could get his. He waited in ...

Macauly Culkin took on a new style after his "Home Alone" days

He became a meth head actor

Police found a man dead, hanging from the rafters, in an apparent suicide.

Inside the pocket of his trousers was a note explaining the reasoning behind his suicide. The note explained that he lead a straight edge life style and that he was suffering from PTSD for three months, ever since his friends forced him to smoke weed with them.

He was unable to handle the st...

Girl guides

I was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter who was
selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting
several homes, she commented on the different styles of
doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled.

We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound li...

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