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Style Jokes

Why do some women prefer doggy style

They hate to see a man have a good time

My wife and I make love doggy style...

I sit up and beg, she lies down and plays dead.

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I went to a prostitute and asked her if I could do her Greek style. "Sure" she said

So I fucked her in the ass and left without paying.

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, th...

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A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a ...

Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!

Husband- "Honey, I just bought these special olympic style condoms!"

Wife- "Olympic style condoms, what makes them so speical?"

Husband- "They come in 3 colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze."

Wife- "Oo, sweet. What color are you gonna wear tonight?"

Husband- "Gold ofc!"
...

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Bartering Australian style

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home.
I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

S...

Hey, why do people from Philly like it doggy style?

So they can both watch the Cowboys lose

My wife and I did it Doggy Style last night...

I sat up and begged, and she rolled over and played dead.

Why don’t pretzels ever go out of style?

Because they are usually kneaded

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New Style

Man: *Stops having sex.*

Woman: What are you doing?

Man: I saw this in a porn video once. It's called buffering.

I once paid a bee to style my hair.

But it only knew how to do a buzz cut.

[Long] A family of four decides city life doesn’t suit their style anymore

So they sell their house in the suburbs and buy a dairy-cow ranch. After a week or so, the dad and 2 sons are out mending the fences, when their neighbor comes driving up the road and stops to introduce himself.

“How y’all doin? The name’s Al, friends call me Big Al. Are you folks new to the ...

What's a demon's favorite handwriting style?

Cursive.

Did you know that France have started making a line of American-style cars for goats?

They're called Chevreolets

I was thinking of making a Groundhog Day style movie with Keanu Reeves as a teenager

Working title is john constant teen

If you have trouble lasting long in bed, try doggy style,

Because 2 human minutes is 14 dog minutes!

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My girlfriend wanted to try doggy style...

Apparently, slobbering all over her and dragging my ass along the carpet wasn't what she had in mind..

What style of potato chips does Santa Claus like best?

Kringle Cut

What’s Captain Hook’s favorite style of comedy?

Deadpan

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Favourite Sex Styles

Two cowboys were discussing about their favorite sex styles
Cowboy 1: My Favorite sex style is doggy style.
Cowboy 2: My favorite sex style is rodeo style.
Cowboy 1: Whats that?
Cowboy 2: Well it starts of just like doggy style.....then grasp her tits from behind and tell "this titties ...

Why do Canadians do it doggy-style?

So they both can watch the hockey game.



(Told to me by my 11th grade English teacher, who should have known better. Shame on you, Mr. Avril.)

I just ordered a Chicago style pizza.

It started shooting as soon I opened the box.

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Had sex with the wife for 30 minutes doggy style

last night. That's about 4 minutes in human time.

I'd like to rent a pueblo style building and open a business selling photographic prints.

It will be called: Adobe Photo Shop

Elephant in a fridge (what style of humour is this joke?)

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

(This is a 6 in 1 joke)
Person 1: You have 500 bricks. If you throw one off a plane, how many will you have left?
Person 2: 499.
Person 1: Correct!

Person 1: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Person 2: That’s not...

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"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.


Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeon...

Where did Harry Styles go to school?

Watermelon Sugar High

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Introducing a new joke style: I wish all the ladies

This was a thing we used to do on my sea scout ship after competition. It's a rhyming couplet in the general style of

"I wish all the ladies
Were [XXXX]
And I'd be [YYYY]
And [sex pun]"

A few examples:

I wish all the ladies
Were winds on the sea
And I'd be the sa...

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My girlfriend and I only ever have sex in the doggy style position

She said I misunderstood her when she told me she "likes it ruff"

I asked my daughter why Harry Styles left his band to go solo.

She said he wanted to go a different direction.

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Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

I've developed my own style of martial arts that involves defenestration.

I call it Yeet Kune Do.

What is Donald’s favorite car style ?

A Coupe

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Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

PSA: Hindsight is officially out of style

It's sooooo 2020.

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Why do rednecks have sex only missionary style?

It's because YOU NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON FAMILY!!!

What's a poor artist's favourite style?

Baroque.

What is a penguin’s favorite dancing style?

Pole Dancing

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Indian Style?

A Canadian Indian picks up a hooker.

'How much do you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks.

'$100,' she replies.

He says 'Do you do Indian style?'

'No' she says.

'I pay you $200 to do it Indian style'

'No', she says, not knowing what Indian style is.
...

What is Quarantine's favorite style of music?

House.

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asked the one.

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

Everyone knows Harry Potter graduated from Hogwarts, but not many people know that Harry Styles failed to do so.

He was expelled after starting wand erection.

What do you get when you cross a gladiatorial-style tournament with children?

The Younger Games

Stephen kings writing style is...

Novel.

What is a rabbits favorite style of beer?

IPA because they have the most hops.

My style of love making is just like jazz.

My style of lovemaking isn’t very popular.

Chicago style pizza changes you

I use to like New York style pizza

Till I tasted Chicago style pizza

Now, I love New York style pizza

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Did you hear there is going to be a top 10 billboard style chart for porn?

What is this world cumming to?

...customer asked for Alabama Style Chicken Sandwich!

**Waitress:** ...in bread?

**Customer:** ... I'm not from around here!

How do you make Alabama-style chicken?

Cook it over a dumpster fire and then serve it face down in a pool of its own blood.

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Dog Style

An 80 yr old man marries a 25 year old young woman.

He seeks Doctor's advice on the best way to deal with it.

Oldman: "Doc, I am 80 and am going to be sexually active again. What's the best way to have safe sex without getting heart attack...??"

Doc: "At your age , I highly reco...

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My boyfriend wants to do doggy style.

He's been on my ass about it all day.

What was Chip's favorite dance style?

Salsa.

Why does a Chicago-style hot dog always lose races?

Because it refuses to ketchup.

Hillary Clinton Style Condoms!

*Rigged for her pleasure*

A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg...

I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man.
That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!

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What does Harry Styles call his boner?

Wonder Erection.

I made up a dad-style musician joke:

Q. What is Donald Trump's least favorite guitar chord?

A. G7

Anyone want to help start a new conspiracy theory themed cafeteria style restaurant?

We’ll call it “Queue A Nom Nom”

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I call my style of sex the fast and furious

I finish too fast and she gets furious.

Italians don't just have style...

...They have pizzazz...

How do you get to the after life in style?

You take a limbozine

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fat boy slim style

Doctor, doctor, my husband was admitted into hospital for involuntary buttock spasms.

Where is he?

ICU, baby. Shakin' that ass.

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I told my wife we'd have sex Star Wars style.

Forced through the Dark Side.

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If your sexual experience would be reviewed in trip advisor style, what would it be?

Be the first to give a review

Ive noticed recently that I can guess what style of facial hair someone has behind their mask.

I think I might be hairvoyant

So I am opening an Italian style restaurant.

Every item on the menu is going to be medication themed.

I am gonna call it.... Big Parma.

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?”
“Eish-Yes. What you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.”
“Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society su...

I went to a benihana-style bar on a plane.

The cook was a sky wokker.

I made a "Titanic style" salad

It's mostly composed of iceberg lettuce

Which writing style should come with a mouth censor?

Cursive writing

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Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

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A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals....

What’s a cannibals favorite style of comedian?

Dead pan.

Saw two dogs doing it human style.

Saw two dogs doing it human style. They were fighting.

I did a girl missionary style

I stole her cultural identity so I could take her land

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Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

What is a jawa's favorite style of pasta?

Rotini

Sorry, was picking out pasta for tuna casserole and it made me laugh.

I would call my style of humour "self-deprecating"...

But I'm not very good at it.

A musician specializing in bowed string instruments who has a boring play style could be called 'a dull fiddler'.

Which is not so bad until you read it out loud.

Just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from my local takeaway

4 police officers delivered it and fired tear gas through my front door.

Did you hear about the 70s style record company that burned down?

Yeah, it was a disc co. Inferno!

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A lady asked me what position I was looking for

I told her I normally like doggy style, but since she was pretty hot, I'd be into it if she wanted to sit on my face while I jerked off. She got pissed off and asked me to leave her office, I don't think that job interview went very well.

Why do redneck couples love to do it doggy-style?

That way they can both watch the Monster Trucks.

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What is Vin Diesel's lovemaking style?

Pitch Black, Multi-Facial, XXX and Fast and Furious.

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