This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night...

That’s 4 minutes in human time.

What do you call a style that puts you in a coma?

Anaesthetic

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale".

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog t...

My girlfriend enjoys "doggy style" in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from my local takeaway

4 police officers delivered it and fired tear gas through my front door.

Generally speaking, there are three different styles of cancan dances, 'French Cancan', 'British Cancan', and 'American Cancan'. In my opinion, French Cancan dances are able to outperform American Cancan dances and American Cancan dances can also outperform British Cancan dances.

In other words, Cancan Cancan can can can can Cancan.

How do you make Alabama-style chicken?

Cook it over a dumpster fire and then serve it face down in a pool of its own blood.

...customer asked for Alabama Style Chicken Sandwich!

**Waitress:** ...in bread?

**Customer:** ... I'm not from around here!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What does Harry Styles call his boner?

Wonder Erection.

What is Donald Trump's favorite style of beer?

The Porter.

At first when you came in and ordered glass underwear I though it was a new style...

But now I can see your nuts

Unfortunately my style of humour is reflected in the type of woman I attract.

Dry.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

What is the name of the fighting of style for fractions?

Partial Arts.

I would call my style of humour "self-deprecating"...

But I'm not very good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Studies show that doggy is the most common sex style among married couples.

The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

Why do Canadians Do it doggie style

So they both can watch the hockey game.

Doggy Style?

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and...

My wife and I did it Doggy Style last night...

I sat up and begged, and she rolled over and played dead.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

They say that the most powerful way for a woman to have sex is doggy style...

Then they're really bangin' on all fours.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I went to a prostitute and asked her if I could do her Greek style. "Sure" she said

So I fucked her in the ass and left without paying.

Did you hear about the 70s style record company that burned down?

Yeah, it was a disc co. Inferno!

What’s a cannibals favorite style of comedian?

Dead pan.

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Excuse me, may I interview you?

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow...

Why do rednecks like to do it doggie style?

That way they can **BOTH** watch NASCAR.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Introducing a new joke style: I wish all the ladies

This was a thing we used to do on my sea scout ship after competition. It's a rhyming couplet in the general style of

"I wish all the ladies
Were [XXXX]
And I'd be [YYYY]
And [sex pun]"

A few examples:

I wish all the ladies
Were winds on the sea
And I'd be the sa...

Why do redneck couples love to do it doggy-style?

That way they can both watch the Monster Trucks.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I told my wife we'd have sex Star Wars style.

Forced through the Dark Side.

Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

Italians don't just have style...

...They have pizzazz...

So I am opening an Italian style restaurant.

Every item on the menu is going to be medication themed.

I am gonna call it.... Big Parma.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Pub joke in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer - Bill Bailey

Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas tw...

What did Louis CK call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

TIL That due to recent advancements with AI two computers identified themselves as mates, and even went as far as to set up a Romeo and Juliette style suicide pact...

They say they were so in love they finished each others sentiences.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Dog Style

An 80 yr old man marries a 25 year old young woman.

He seeks Doctor's advice on the best way to deal with it.

Oldman: "Doc, I am 80 and am going to be sexually active again. What's the best way to have safe sex without getting heart attack...??"

Doc: "At your age , I highly reco...

What does Hillary Clinton do with her old, out-of-style clothes?

She wears them.

Women have been sleeping with me lately like it's going out of style.

Less frequently and with a fair amount of shame.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

You know what they call someone who dabbles in various styles of masturbation?

A Jack-off all trades

What do you call the guy who created the Gangnam Style dance?

A Koreagrapher

What is a jawa's favorite style of pasta?

Rotini

Sorry, was picking out pasta for tuna casserole and it made me laugh.

Saw two dogs doing it human style.

Saw two dogs doing it human style. They were fighting.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Bartering Australian style

This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home.
I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

S...

What is R2-D2's favorite style of music?

Beep-boxing!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

So Jeremy Corbyn went to see the Queen.

Jeremy Corbyn asked the Queen. "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well." Said the Queen. "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Jeremy Corbyn then asked. "But how do I know if the peo...

For anyone who gets confused about proper grammar and style in writing

I offer from the Internet, the following tip sheet, "How to Write Good":

- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren't necessary
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- Be more or less specific.
- ...

Did you know there's a street in England named Harry Styles Boulevard?

It only goes in one direction, though.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Apparently, there is a protest today in favor of doggy style sex.

Now that's a protest I can get behind.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A man takes up Kung Fu, and ascends high to a mountain temple to train...

On his first day he tours the grounds with his master to witness the many fighting styles. Along the way he sees a warrior with no arms, and he asks his master "How can that man learn kung fu with no arms?"

"Don't you see?" Says the master. "Without arms he need learn no punches. Therefore hi...

I made a "Titanic style" salad

It's mostly composed of iceberg lettuce

I love Taco Bell so much that I even enjoy being *asked* what style of tacos I want...

I get hard every time.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

I was watching a baseball game the other day when the pitcher struck out a batter in 3 pitches. The announcer said, "…and he goes down Paul Ryan style". His partner asked, "What makes it Paul Ryan style?" To which he replied…

No balls

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Have you ever had sex rodeo style?

That's where you mount your wife from behind and tell her, "This is how my girlfriend and I do it." And then try to stay on for 8 seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

fat boy slim style

Doctor, doctor, my husband was admitted into hospital for involuntary buttock spasms.

Where is he?

ICU, baby. Shakin' that ass.

I was sword fighting this guy medieval style then all of a sudden he starts to unscrew his pommel

And then it hit me...

Hillary Clinton Style Condoms!

*Rigged for her pleasure*

Tonight I'm going to make dinner Trump style!

Many sides!

I love it doggy style. But my wife always insists

...that I give her a treat afterwards.

My fourth grade teacher told the class to go outside and sit Indian style...

so I drank a bottle of vodka and passed out in the street.

Why did the Rastafarian change his hair style?

Because it was dreadful.

My wife and I do it doggy-style...

...she plays dead and I beg.

-Dan Chopin

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A reporter is doing an article on the russian rural life-style...

...and she ends up in a small village.

The first person she interviews is an old man.

Reporter: Can you tell me anything interesting about your village?

Old man: Well there was this one time when a dog from a neighbouring village got lost in our woods... so we found it and took...

Doggy style

A young boy and his father are walking through a park when they see two dogs doing the dirty.
Boy: "Daddy, what are they doing?"
Dad: "Oh...uh...they're just making a puppy."
Later that night daddy and mommy put the boy to sleep and go off to their bedroom. After a couple glasses of wine th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.