Why do most programmers use dark mode?

Because the light attracts too many bugs

Husband lost his wife

Husband: I lost my wife, she was shopping and has not come back yet.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: I'm not sure a suit maybe or dress i don't know.

Inspector: What her weight?

Husband: I don;t know i have never checked.

Inspector: Slim/ tall/ healthy....

I don't understand statistics like mean, mode and median

Is that normal?

Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic

Like who wouldn’t wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.

A guy buys a new ferrari

he takes it out to drive, and the next day comes back to the dealership with a broken gearbox

the dealer says that the insurance covers it so they get it fixed and he goes back out

the next day the gearbox breaks again, and the dealer once again says no problem and gets it fixed. the g...

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

I am rebranding computers' energy saving mode

It's a power nap.

Why is dark mode better?

Because it runs faster

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The Pickled Penis

An attractive young lady had recently lost her husband to illness, and while she wasn’t ready to engage in another relationship quite yet, she was certainly missing sex. So, to fill this need, she decided to visit a sex shop and purchase a toy.

As she has never in her life used a toy, she ask...

What is the worst insult you could give a Redditor?

"You're the type to have light mode on Reddit."

What is Edna Mode's least favorite city?

Cape Town.

What’s Harry Potter’s favorite mode of transportation?

Walking






JK.
Rolling.

A median and a mode walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’m glad you dumped your buddy. He’s mean.”

I really like the band Depeche Mode.

I just can't get enough.

The worst feeling ever is when you're studying in your room peacefully in full focus mode and a member of your family enter the room and..

wakes you up

Flight Attendant: Please don't forget to activate 'airplane mode'

Me: Running around with my arms spread making airplane noises.

Cops smashed my phone.

Cops smashed my phone. Well it's my fault for having it on the dark mode.

My son asked me what incognito mode was on his computer.

"I don't want you to know," I replied.

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Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

Jimmy Carr was complaining that he had no mode of transport after a freak accident with a truck carrying dry fruits wrecked his Jaguar.

It was Carr's Rant on a car to rent cause his current car was rent by a currant current

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I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.

Whenever my Muslim roommate goes to pray, I sit next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.

Then both of us are in A La mode.

Once mankind invented Incognito mode

The rest is not in history.

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Italian Casanova

An Italian was driving his sports car along the Amalfi coast when he saw a beautiful girl hitchhiking. He stopped the car and offered the girl a ride. He went in ‘Casanova-mode’ and leaned over the pull the girl close. She didn’t object so he took it a step further. He drove to his house and took th...

So I tried airplane mode for the first time.

But when I threw my phone, it didn't fly.

I was playing SimplePlanes on my phone

I made a nice jet, but for some reason it didn't seem to work well. But then I realized



I didn't have airplane mode on

Even when I put my phone in airplane mode, it only flies as far as I throw it.

(Original Content)

How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer dark mode.

I like dark mode on everything

Except for my skin

I'm so poor...

that my cell phone only has bus mode

*My iPhone on Airplane mode*

Me: Siri, surely it must rain today

Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

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The Irish Railway Company

Correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation sy...

When standing on top of a staircase, it becomes a universal mode of transport.

Where it goes is up to you.

I set my phone to airplane mode

I lost it two weeks ago and everyone has a different opinion on what happened to it

I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie.

Sadly it was erased.

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Some people use incognito mode to watch porn.

Just to be safe, I watch porn using Tor through a VPN on my friend's laptop connected to my neighbors wifi.

Which works great until my neighbors find out and tell me to get out of their living room.

Dates are expensive and complicated.

And the morning after is, all too often, very awkward.

Then there's the messiness. And each one's got a bloody stone in the middle. Honestly, dates are just honey that's stuck on Extra Hard mode.

I got a bit bored on a long highway drive and started scrolling through the various voice choices on my GPS.

There was a USA accent, a French accent and even an Australian accent. Then I noticed "Wife mode". So I selected it, and nothing seemed to happen, until about 10 miles later the GPS said,

"So, if I died, would you get a new GPS?""

What’s a Muslim’s favorite pie topping?

Allah mode

Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors...

it will always resolve with tonic.

History is not made by those who use Incognito mode..

Said by a Firefox user.

Riot's Responce to Sandbox Mode

Edit: Response

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Incognito mode on google chrome is useless..

Everyone in the library can still see me wanking

Why did the mean and mode laugh together?

Because they had a co-median between them.

The three modes of communication

Telephone,
Telegraph and
Tell a woman

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus

The man sees a wall of clock and asks Jesus, “What are all those clocks for?”

Jesus replied, “These clocks are for representing how much lies a person has told.”

The man points at a broken clock, Jesus said, “That is Mother Theresa’s clock, it has not moved therefore she has never lied...

My Math teacher told me I'm terrible at telling Math jokes.

She was mode to me.



Edit: Medium\*

Edit: Range\*

Edit: Average\*

The mean, median, and mode walk into a Republican bar

The median says "Wow, this place us really skewed to the right! Me, though, I'm a centrist."

The mode was taller than everyone else and got the most numbers.

Meanwhile, the mean was overly influenced by outliers and got high off to the side.

A man drives his new car back to the dealership...

And he says "the car I bought last week doesn't work at night". So a mechanic tries starting the car with the lights already on. Then, he tried again but turning the lights on with the engine running. Nothing goes wrong, the mechanic explains that he can come back and get a different car if it has t...

I know i was a smart kid

When i was like 8 or 9 i threw my father's phone from the terrace, by turning the airplane mode on cause i thought it would take off. And after 10 years, here i am studying engineering realizing that airplanes don't take off mid-air. I should've tried it on the ground.

Siri kept on calling me Shirley today

I was beginning to get annoyed about it but then I realised I'd left my phone in Airplane mode.

Three guys die and go to heaven

St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates, and announces "welcome to heaven. it is a vast and holy place. I will assign you a vehicle based on how faithful you were to your spouses"

The first man walks up and is given the keys to a beat up 1989 Honda Civic and St. Peter says to him "you cheate...

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

My phone fell from the 20th floor,

good thing it was in airplane mode.

I got into a bad fight with my girlfriend last night. It turned ugly because she thought I cheated, and I hadn't

We’re in the kitchen and she tries to hit me with a Spatula. I react pretty quickly but all I have is a dish to block it with; but it’s simply no match.

All hell breaks loose when she tried to go for the midsection with Knives. I got lucky and was defended with my well-placed Buckle. It’s ge...

The Pope & The Crossword puzzle

A man is preparing to board a train when he hears that the Pope is also going to be using that mode of transportation because he apparently wanted to try something different.

"This is exciting," the man thinks. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person...

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For me, sex is only a game.

In single-player mode.

Civil engineer goes to Hell

A civil engineer dies and goes to Hell by accident. According to policy, all civil engineers go to Heaven but a mistake was made this time. The engineer descends to Hell and he finds the situation miserable. Too much heat, fires, lava, vapor, and everyone is in panic mode. So he goes to have a littl...

Just look very closely into the darkness of your screen

Do you see the joke? (Dark mode users only)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God and Jesus were hashing out the final details of his life on earth.

"The only thing remaining is to decide upon your mode of death," said God. "Which do you prefer, crucifixion or killer bees?"

Jesus thought about it for a few minutes and said, "I think I will go with crucifixion."

And that's why Catholics around the world make the sign of the cross in...

I thought my phone was broken as it keeps referring to me as Shirley.

Then I realised it was in Aeroplane mode

i have a luxury diesel mercedes and its a total piece of rubbish!

i have driven manual my entire life and i got my first automatic and my bloody last one!. i bought new, but it only works during the daytime, at night it shuts off. now look, i put the automatic into d mode during the day, it works fine, but then at night it goes into n mode and won't move.

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at the bar one night and having a drink with lady that was in a wheelchair due to a car wreck that left her without her legs. Which didn’t bother me at all, she was stunning. She was a tiny little thing and very beautiful, we hit it off pretty quick. So we decided to go back to her place.

We got to her place and I got the wheel chair for her and lifted her little body out of the car and rolled her inside the house. Once inside we had a few more drinks and things started to heat up between the two of us. I took off her little shirt and her little bottoms she was wearing and she tells ...

What does Farmer Travis Scott do when his crops are ready?

He goes Sickle Mode

help: iphone 6s freezes but only when i play song "down with the sickness" any ideas??

edit: thx guys, turns out i was in "Do Not Disturbed" mode

I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.

It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.

Everyone has their own way of remembering

To celebrate 9/11, I like to set my phone to airplane mode and throw it at a building.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Its not masturbating

It's sex in single player mode

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Pussy pic joke NSFW

Jon: Want to see a pussy on my phone, dude?

Eric: yeah man!

Jon: [Passes phone to Eric]

Eric: Why’s it on camera mode?

Eric: Oh

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My Jewish Grandmother's favorite Holocaust joke

It's Winter of 1942 and the German SS is in full extermination mode when a new train of Jews comes into the camp. Immediately the train conductor goes to the general and tells the general.

"These are the toughest Jews I have ever seen, General."

The general nods. "Then we will take no ...

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