Why did the orange go to the beauty salon?

Because it needed a peeling.

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.


The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.


Aware of h...

Wife : Is it because of my beauty that you married me?

Husband : It is your sense of humor.

Did you hear Gaston from Beauty and the Beast won a major award?

He won the No Belle Prize.

Beauty is in the eye of the

Beerholder

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A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke, “Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.”

“I know, Father. In fact, I don’t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.”

“I agree,” says the Fa...

Pinocchio, Snow white, and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.

As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out an...

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I meet a beauty at the bus station and I asked her would you suck my dick? She smiled and said...

If you suck my dick first! I said damn,
The Transit’s Cumming

What’s the difference between beauty and a Ferrari

Not everyone has a Ferrari

Told my wife her beauty is comparable to the galaxy

It takes millions of dollars' worth of equipment to truly appreciate it.

So I mentioned how my crush wanted me to give up beekeeping. I was holding one of them and she said "How can you hold that ugly creature?". I said I didn't think it was ugly.

I guess beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

The perfect woman

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous ...

What's the difference between a circus and the Miss America beauty pageant?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

Beauty is in the eye of the B. Holder

Dr. Bartholomew Holder, my dentist, that man has the most beautiful eyes you'll ever seen.

The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.

The child didn't look surprised.

The beauty of having icing on your cake is that you can cover a lot of your mistakes.

I think I've found out why my parents insist on spreading icing all over my face on each of my birthdays.

I miss understood a Sleeping Beauty

Ill never be welcome to a funeral again.

There is a possessed bike that keeps riding over animals and then going to the beauty parlor over and over again.

It’s a pretty vicious cycle.

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Why do men check out women's rear?

Historically, men at sea were trapped and killed by Mermaids who attracted them using their upper body beauty. Soon, the word was spread among all the sailors/pirates and subsequently to the whole world to check out women's rear to save yourself from murderous mermaids.

Thank you for coming t...

Why wanting beauty is less shallow than wanting money?

When you divorce a beautiful person you don't get half of their good looks.

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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher

"Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?" "Yes, my master, I have." "And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the sto...

I’d love to tell you that you’re beautiful...

But beauty is on the inside and I haven’t been inside you yet.

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