a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar

it was queen and they were playing their first gig

A business owner posted an ad on classifieds looking for logo designers...

The ad said: "Looking for a talented youth that can design an attractive logo. As I am a small business owner, the work is unpaid. You will be working for exposure."

A recently graduated graphic designer reads this ad. As he was unemployed and struggling to find a job, he thought that he woul...

My font designer girlfriend broke up with me last night.

I guess I just wasn't her type.

Just learned that French fashion designers are trying to develop a clothing line made from frozen water.

I SWEAR!!

Sad News: The founder of /r/jokes has passed away

RIP Larry Tesler, the UI designer that created Cut, Copy and Paste, died age 74

Where can you find a free pair of designer shoes in any size?

The mosque

I was chatting to a graphic designer about invitations for the baby’s christening.

“How about comic sans?” I said “Oh no” she scoffed, “for this occasion we’re gonna need a baptismal font”.

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

What do you call designer pasta?

J.C Penne

Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer,

I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.

He says:

- I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

- I need 50 pictures of...

Why do fashion designers never have any good ideas?

They're too clothes minded.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

Napoleon may not have been the sole designer of his jacket...

but, I believe he had a hand in it.

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

Because he drank designer coffee before it was cool.

What did the Spider choose to work as?

Web designer

Headstone Designer: I'm going to use Comic Sans on your headstone.

Client: Over my dead body!

Headstone Designer: Yes

What’s the difference between a spider and a web designer?

The spider likes bugs on their web

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night

To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.

I have a friend who's a Russian sound designer.

I have a Czech one, too.

DESIGNER DOGS

These days there are all kind of designer dogs : Yorkiepoos, Goldendoodles, Puggles. etc.
Growing up, we called them Mutts

Why did the game designer get moved from the writing team to the development team?

Because they had poorgrammar skills.


Please clap

Did you hear about the fire at the Designer Shoe Warehouse?

Countless soles were lost.

When I realized that the play sucks, I quietly resigned from my job as a stage designer.

I didn’t want to make a scene.

Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer?

He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

Being the king of an extremely rich nation can get to you sometimes...

Don't get me wrong, I love the pampering, the amazing food and the world class treatment I get wherever I happen to be. However, it does get a little too much when you constantly see people wait on you hand and foot. I get assistance in almost all the activities I perform. I am a grown adult for cry...

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?

Sprite.

Mikhail Kalashnikov visits the United States (based on true story)

For the first time, the legendary father of the AK-47 visits the United States. On his first day there he goes to a shooting range and meets up with Eugene Stoner, the father of America's M16. They discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each of their creations to which Eugene Says:

"My ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.

Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeepe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Apple Phone designer do when he got home?

Jack off

Did you hear that Heaven’s web designer quit his job?

He felt it was wrong to tamper in God’s domain.

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

My friend, who's a shirt designer said he makes shirts in 45 seconds.

But I knew he was fabricating lies.

My part-time waitress girlfriend wants to buy nothing but designer outfits...

.. I told her to "act her wage".

[NSFW] How did the fashion designer kill himself?

The Hemming Way

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.