My font designer girlfriend broke up with me last night.

I guess I just wasn't her type.

Just learned that French fashion designers are trying to develop a clothing line made from frozen water.

I SWEAR!!

Sad News: The founder of /r/jokes has passed away

RIP Larry Tesler, the UI designer that created Cut, Copy and Paste, died age 74

Gotta love the graphic designer for the PA license plate

...cuz the colors I associate the state with are blue, white, and yellow like the gorgeous beaches it has.

Where can you find a free pair of designer shoes in any size?

The mosque

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.

He says:

- I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

- I need 50 pictures of...

I was chatting to a graphic designer about invitations for the baby’s christening.

“How about comic sans?” I said “Oh no” she scoffed, “for this occasion we’re gonna need a baptismal font”.

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

A new set designer was hired at the filming company.

He was fired shortly after for making a scene.

What do you call designer pasta?

J.C Penne

What did the Spider choose to work as?

Web designer

Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer,

I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

Because he drank designer coffee before it was cool.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

Why do fashion designers never have any good ideas?

They're too clothes minded.

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out, had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

Napoleon may not have been the sole designer of his jacket...

but, I believe he had a hand in it.

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom

Being the king of an extremely rich nation can get to you sometimes...

Don't get me wrong, I love the pampering, the amazing food and the world class treatment I get wherever I happen to be. However, it does get a little too much when you constantly see people wait on you hand and foot. I get assistance in almost all the activities I perform. I am a grown adult for cry...

Headstone Designer: I'm going to use Comic Sans on your headstone.

Client: Over my dead body!

Headstone Designer: Yes

What’s the difference between a spider and a web designer?

The spider likes bugs on their web

Mikhail Kalashnikov visits the United States (based on true story)

For the first time, the legendary father of the AK-47 visits the United States. On his first day there he goes to a shooting range and meets up with Eugene Stoner, the father of America's M16. They discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each of their creations to which Eugene Says:

"My ...

DESIGNER DOGS

These days there are all kind of designer dogs : Yorkiepoos, Goldendoodles, Puggles. etc.
Growing up, we called them Mutts

I have a friend who's a Russian sound designer.

I have a Czech one, too.

Why did the game designer get moved from the writing team to the development team?

Because they had poorgrammar skills.


Please clap

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night

To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.

Did you hear about the fire at the Designer Shoe Warehouse?

Countless soles were lost.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

When I realized that the play sucks, I quietly resigned from my job as a stage designer.

I didn’t want to make a scene.

Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer?

He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You've got to think fast at times

So, a young woman, Shirley, has a job interview in the morning, but her best friend's bachelorette party is happening that night, and she has to attend. The ladies meet for drinks and party most of the night. As a surprise, some male strippers show up later to their hotel room and whip them up into ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a designer dildo?

Gucci in the Coochie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy changing at the gym...

A guy changing at the gym answers the phone, as he’s getting dressed, naturally he just puts it on speaker, the female voice is heard
“Hey Honey, I’ve just found this beautiful designer coat and it’s on sale for £2,000 do you mind if I get it”
The guy says “well if you love it so much then yea...

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?

Sprite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.

Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeepe...

How do you satisfy a graphic designer in the bedroom?

Bring out the GIMP

What's Spiderman's favorite hobby?

Web designer

My friend, who's a shirt designer said he makes shirts in 45 seconds.

But I knew he was fabricating lies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Apple Phone designer do when he got home?

Jack off

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

My part-time waitress girlfriend wants to buy nothing but designer outfits...

.. I told her to "act her wage".

[NSFW] How did the fashion designer kill himself?

The Hemming Way

What does a biologist wear on a first date?

Designer Genes

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