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I asked my wife to dress as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I don't normally make fun of somebody's race, but someone has to say it.

FUCK the 100 meter dash. It's just a weaker version of every other race.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A group of bored military officers start talking about whether sex is work or fun

The lieutenant goes first and says, "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."

Then captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."

Finally, the major says, "No, making love is definitely way more ...

So I brought a P30 to school, and kids made fun of me for it not being an Apple product

I told my mom and she said "Its ok son, we will upgrade you to a P80 so you do not get made fun off"

I then P80 to school, yet they still made fun of me for it not being an Apple product.

But they won't make fun of me when I bring my P90...

Remember to not make fun of your wife’s decisions...

Because you were one of them!

I don’t like to make fun of Hitler

I don’t think joking about suicidal people is funny

Making fun of anti-vaxxers will never get old

Just like their kids.

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Juggling seems fun

But i just don't have the balls to do it

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's b...

My friend met Terry Crews and made fun of him so Terry beat him to death

The coroner says he died from dysentery

You should never make fun of a a fat person with a lisp.

They’re probably thick and tired of it.

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A fun joke for the phone

Once bored with the conversation, ask the recipient to help you with a joke

Start off with "what has a small dick that hangs down?"

The typical answer "what??"

"A bat, you know, because it hangs upside down"

"Oh"

"What has a big dick that hangs up?'

"Huh?"<...

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Today at work my co workers made fun of me when I explained to them I'm constipated and that's why I was taking pills

I really couldn't give a shit.

Getting ICE’d at a party is never fun.

And it has an entirely different connotation when you live close to a US border

never make fun of a man who drinks black coffee..

you will become the victim of a dark roast

We shouldn't make fun of fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

School Projects are fun

A science teacher sent off his year 8 class with a homework task, come up witch a science experiment, and either film it to show to the class, or show the experiment in front of the class next week.

Tim went home and thought long and hard about what he would do, but he came in next week with ...

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Two men are drinking at a bar all night. Finally, one man says to the other, “I hate to break up the fun, but I’ve got to go home and take off my wife’s underwear.”

The other man replies, “What makes you think you’ll be so lucky?”

&#x200B;

The first man replies while walking out the door, “because they’ve been riding up my butt all night and I’ve had enough.”

My imaginary friend keeps making fun of me.

He says, “At least I have a real friend.”

Complex numbers are all fun and games...

Until someone loses an i. That's when things get real.

My wife wouldn't stop making fun of me for my sense of direction.

So I packed up and Right.

Doctors have the most fun on April Fools.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."


Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

It wasn’t much fun breaking my neck and being in a cast..

But now I can look back and laugh.

My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up of me making fun of her height.

So tonight I’m going to make it up to her.

I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show.

When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs.

Then afterwards I’m going ...

As a doctor I never make fun of unvaccinated kids.

I don’t like to joke about dead people.

About a year ago I changet my name to Fun...

Apparently Cyndi Lauper is a liar.

Fun with rhymes.

If plants wore pants would plants try to dance? If plants tried to dance would plants have a chance if plants wore pants and you took a glance? If plants wore pants would they joust with a lance? If plants had a lance would the blow hit or glance? If plants were advanced and wore pants and danced th...

What do professional golf players do for fun?

Do not play golf.

My sister wanted to have “fun” with me, I didn’t want to but...

She incested

Here a fun fact, the Soviet Union didn’t use land mines,

They used land ours.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is it fun to be Vincent Van Gough?

When your wife's bitching at you, you won't get an earful.

It's your grave. Have fun with it!

Before I die, I'll have 3 graves made for me.

Suppose you're walking in the graveyard, then this is what you'll see -

1st stone - Hey what's up?

You feel awkward and move to the next one that says -

2nd stone - Remember me? I'm the same guy from the last grave. The next...

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

I'm so sick of people making fun of the United States

Don't they know we're the third best country in North America?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend finds sex on holiday much more fun

I think so, anyway. It was difficult to read the postcard

Star gazing isn’t very fun

I’ve been doing it all afternoon and now I can’t see

A blond is tired of being made fun of for being blond

So many jokes about blonds had given her a bad reputation. So she decides to change her hair color to hide it.

Every day on her way to work she would run into a shepherd with lots of sheep. She decides today to stop and talk to the shepherd.

She said to him “ If i can guess how many ...

We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month

Period.

It's wrong to make fun of short people.

Come on, people.

We're above that.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Masturbating is fun!

After all, you can't spell "amusement" without "semen!"

There is a fine line between numerator and denominator

Only a fraction of people find this funny

I had fun playing with Mr. Mushroom yesterday

He was a fun gi

Fun fact:

No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.

Just let that sink in.

Fun fact of the day

Fun Fact: if every human stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown

Secret to a happy marriage is to go out for dinner twice a week, to flirt and have fun.

Wife goes on Mondays, I go on Fridays

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“Son, I heard you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That wasn’t fun, was it?”

“No Dad, it was Fuck.”

Fun fact

Tsunami - T is silent

Honest - H is silent

Island - S is silent

After hearing my jokes - Everyone is silent

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Today I made fun of a constipated guy:

I shit; you not.

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun

Give a man a meme and he'll have fun for a minute.

Give a man Reddit and he'll be reposting for the rest of his life.

"What did grandpa and grandma do for fun back in the day?"

i don't know why but this question was never answered by anyone from my 17 aunts and uncles.

I wonder what my parents did for fun when they were younger...

I don't know, I guess I'll go ask one of my 13 siblings...

People make fun of anti-vaxx people but you gotta admit

They do reduce carbon emissions

Being A Bank Robber Was Fun

But my new job as a bakery robber really takes the cake.

I was making fun of my Dad’s new Thai bride, and he wasn’t too happy about it.

My dad wasn’t too pleased either.

My French friends said they were taking me out for some fun...

It was a riot!

We'll call it "The cognitive and behavioral fun time vacation for people with ADHD"

'Cause apparently "concentration camp" isn't politically correct

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

As a foreigner, why do people make fun of the way I curse?

This one guy at work in particular. He's a scumbag, a real piece of fuck.

Puns are fun!

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A hippo is really heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter.

I told my brother, "My wife ran off yesterday with my best friend Joe."

My brother looked at me funny for a minute then said. "Since when is Joe your best friend?"

I looked back and replied "Since yesterday."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Fun fact: saying the word "poop" makes the same shape with your mouth as your bum hole does when pooing

The same is also true for "explosive diarrhoea"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You'd think sex on mushrooms would be fun.

But it's sooo much better on a bed.

It's not fun competing with masochists with foot fetishes.

They really like the taste of defeat.

I’m so good at making fun of people…

They say I have a diss ability.

Why is it okay to make fun of David Copperfield?

Because Copper is refined by Roasting.

Fun fact: Mr. Spock had three ears:

The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

If you ever want a fun vacation, you should consider going to Disneyland Syria

I hear their rides are the bomb

Cracking open a cold one with the boys sounded like a lot of fun,

until we pulled up to the morgue.

Where do dinosaurs like to go for fun?

The Rex center.

I used to make fun of people who used online dating sites, but I'm trying one out for the first time

It's called OKHubris

Playing doctor in the bedroom can be fun.

Until you try and amputate her leg and she wants to whine the whole time.

You should all be ashamed of making fun of Jonah Hill.

The guy’s been through thick and thin.

I’ve always wondered what my parents did for fun before the internet...

So I asked my 27 brothers and sisters and they don’t know either.