Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

Bill’s had a tough week, so he decides to have a little fun

It was Friday evening, it had been payday and Bill had really had a tough week.

So on leaving the office, he decided that instead of going home, he would stay out for the entire weekend partying with his buddies and in the process blow his entire weeks salary.

When he finally arrived h...

Fun fact : Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

People always say we Germans don't have fun

Well, obviously we don't. Whenever we try to have some fun someone comes around and helps France!

Hey, I'm new to this Sub, and think I'm going to have a lot of fun here!

said the lettuce leaf foolishly. He was yet to come to terms that he, and eveyone else in this Sub, are going to be eaten.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fun fact:

69% of men find a sexual meaning in every joke

Americans, Before You Make Fun of Kids This Christmas for Believeing in Santa,

Remember, Almost 70 Millions of You Believed in Trump.

Why did Tinkerbell get made fun of at school?

She Peter Pants

Fun fact:

If all the veins in your body were to be laid out in a single, straight line

YOU WOULD DIE.

Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic?

The pool is still full.

Intercoursing with a motivator is a whole lot new fun.

She will keep you coming.

Its fun hanging with your friends in the public.

Especially when you’re all depressed.

Fun fact about sign language

It is the least spoken language on Earth

Why did the fun guy tell everyone to get away from him?

Because they weren't leaving him mushroom to move around.

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Two women decides to go out and have some fun without their husbands.

The night turned out great it was a lot of fun. They got tipsy so they headed back home, but on the road they had a sudden urge to pee, so they climbed over the wall of a graveyard nearby. When finnished, they recocgnised they’ve got nothing to wipe themself clean with. One of them used her panties ...

Mormons be like, “you know what’d be fun?”

Doesn’t matter.

What did the hombre say when they made fun of his pants?

Leave my pantalones!

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was
an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suici...

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I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Babes, **Jabba the Hutt** is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck you asshole" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

People say "Time flies when you're having fun."

Nobody's had any fun this year, and it's already October.

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Not your average blonde joke

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is eas...

It wasn’t much fun having a broken neck last year.

But now I can just look back and laugh.

There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.


After years of dating, he works up ...

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Besides humans dolphins are one of very few species that have sex for fun..

But damn, I still don't like that weird silence in the car every morning I take them back to the zoo.

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My wife asked me, "Is having a penis fun?"

I said, "It has it's ups and downs."

It's no fun being an archaeologist.

Everybody you try to date is long dead.

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I hate people who make fun of Uranus by calling it names like your anus. I always tell these people:

You're heinous.

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A man's wife sends him out to get some cigarettes

So he walks down to the nearby store only to find that it's closed. He goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. While at the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers together, and then one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.<...

Fun fact about myself

I invented the word "plagerism"

I went to an apple orchard today. I had a lot of fun but I kind of embarrassed myself in front of the attractive tour guide.

Yeah, I slipped in cider.

We had a friend who liked to take photos of himself doing life-risking stunts for fun. We always discouraged him, but one time he got hit by a train at a railway station because of a stunt.

That time, it was painfully clear to us that he had definitely crossed the line.

By best friend just made fun of me after I got struck by lightning and had my nervous system damaged

And I must say, it really struck a nerve with me

How much fun did the priest have at the weekend ?

Nun

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera.

I played Oregon trail and made fun of a guy named Terry. He stabbed me...

I died of Dissin'-Terry

Fun fact: there is a bank you can go to get gold without being arrested.

It’s called Reddit.

Dark Joke are fun:

What has eight legs, four heads, and six arms?

The finish line at the Boston marathon.

Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)

-Swedish is an easy language to learn. For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon)

-how do you recognize a Swede?

He pushes a pull door

-What is the difference between a chicken and a Swede?

-Chicken only lays eggs/fails (same word in Finnish) once a day
...

My Sister always got bullied at school for being adopted.

Homeschooling for us was fun though

Some people make fun of me because I have a baby face.

What can I say? I was born with it.

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What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a virgin?

Just start giving them bad grades.

We shouldn't make fun of Americans for how they are handling the pandemic

In these hard times, they are trying their best to bring some positivity to the world

Why is it no fun being an egg?

You only get laid once, you only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on your face is your mother.

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A cabbie is waiting outside a Vegas casino when a smartly-dressed man runs out in a state of extreme distress.

He comes up to the cab and says "You've got to get me to the airport straight away! I'm needed in New York as soon as possible, there's millions at stake!" and the cabbie says "Sure, no problem, fella, just fifty bucks for the fare and we're good to go".

The smartly-dressed man says "This is ...

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Living in the sewers seems fun

Apparently that's where shit goes down.

The village of idiots.

There is a village of idiots. Every month the village gathers in the town square, where 3 people from the neighboring town each bring in an object so,the town's folk can guess what it is. It's great fun for the whole town women, men, young and old alike join the festivities. The first person walks t...

Elevators are fun

They are always up to something;
and down for everything.

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The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...

U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.

So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...

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A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."

He figures the early tee-time will discourage her.

The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.

They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."

She's there at 6:30 am. sharp and beats al...

Having to wear a mask at school removes all the fun.

You never know who you're shooting.

Jumping with a rope can either be fun or sad.

It all depends on where the rope is attached.

I gave my XBOX a 360, it was fun...

And I was like: "Wii!"

Pandemic fun

CUSTOMER: why has your colleague got a larger plastic face covering than you?

SHOP ASSISTANT: that’s the supervisor.

Covid is canceling out all of these fun events like Circus’s, rodeos, and concerts.

In about a month, it will really be no Fair.

A Group of Guys Were All Turning 30...

A group of guys were all turning 30, so they decided to go somewhere and celebrate. After some discussion, they finally settled on TJ's Tavern over in Summersville, because the prices were good and it stayed open late.

Ten years later, they were all turning 40, and they thought it might be fu...

Street photography is fun and all

Until the only thing left to shoot is yourself

My friends make fun of me for only being able to play one Metallica song on guitar

It's Sad But True

If you make fun of a comedian

there's a high chance of you getting 'pun'ished.

A fun little hike

Mississippi asked Missouri “What did Delaware?” She replied, “Idaho, but Alaska”. Turns out she wore her New Jersey.

What do whales like to do for fun?

Netflix and Krill

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Dad: I heard that you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That’s wasn’t fun, was it?

Son: No, it was Fuck.

Windows can be fun!

**Client:** How good are you guys at PowerPoint?

**IT Expert:** We Excel at it...

**Client:** Was that a Microsoft Office pun?

**IT Expert:** Word.

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A group of horses was making fun of a miniature horse who sounded weird because he had a sore throat.

One of the horses felt bad for the little guy, and said to his friends, "Leave him alone, he's just a little hoarse."

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Study suggests that a man does sex for a minimum 30 times a year.

Looks like it is going to be fun December for me.

I was in the sea having fun and saw a woman just standing there wearing a surgical mask...

Looked a bit strange but I guess she was waiting for the second wave.

A couple months ago, my girlfriend and I started experimenting with bondage. I was quite into it, but I could see she wasn't having fun herself. But we kept at it and now I think she's really starting to enjoy it.

She was bound to like it eventually

FUN FACT: if you fart and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

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A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past.

She hasn't had a customer for a while so she whistles at him and says, "Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?"

The old man said, "But I won't be able to..."

Prostitute: "C'mon man.... give it a try... "

Old man says okay. They go in. The old man whips out his dick a...

Fun fact: Did you know that a shoal of piranhas can devour a small child in 30 seconds?

Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today. :/

My last girlfriend wasn’t all bad.

She put the “fun gal” in fungal infection.

A New guy starts to work at a bakery

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

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Are You Sick?

A man takes a prostitute home for a few hours of fun. He immediately pulls up her dress and starts licking her pussy.

The woman grabs his hair and tells him to lick harder. The man complies but gets a piece of carrot in his mouth from her pussy. He wants to stop but the prostitute is begging...

fun fact : you can't pronounce "O" while biting your lower lip

again, louder baby

making a baby

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door ...

Fun fact! a group of crows is called a murder!

cops*

Fun fact! Irish soups only use 239 beans

If they used one more, it would be two-fahrty...

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The history of the middle finger

I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory ov...

What do you call an Incest Orgy?

Fun for the whole family!

Steve is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California...

...when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Steve that he has earned the right for one wish.

Steve: I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time

God: Ehhhh! You...

Three nuns die in a car crash, and get sent up to the pearly gates of heaven. The gatekeeper sees them, and decides to have a little fun in deciding whether they may enter heaven, by giving them questions about the Bible. He explains this, and the first nun steps up to answer her question.

Gatekeeper: What were the names of the first two humans on earth?

Nun 1: Ooh, that's an easy one. Adam and Eve, of course.

The gates opened and the first nun walked in.

Gatekeeper: Next question: What fruit did Adam and Eve eat?

Nun 2: Ooh, that's an easy one. An apple,...

Teachers from other countries make fun of the US education system

Sure, we don’t teach evolution everywhere, but I don’t see your countries volunteering to demonstrate natural selection in schools across the country.

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A London lawyer runs a stop sign..

And gets pulled over by an Irish cop. This hotshot sure knows he's better educated and definitely smarter than some random Irish cop. He decides to prove to himself how smart he is while having some fun at the cop.

Irish cop:"License and registration, please."

"What for?", lawyer asks....

Don’t make fun of fat people

They already have enough on their plate

Why shouldn’t you make fun of burn victims?

Because they have already been roasted one to many times.

Not Another Blonde Joke

There once was a blonde woman who was tired of everyone making fun of her for being a “dumb blonde”.

She went to the hairdresser and had her hair dyed brunette.

On her way home, she was driving past a field full of sheep. She got excited and stopped to pet a sheep. She walked up to t...

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

The Chicken House Joke

A little boy and girl were playing outside on the farm when it started raining so they ran into the chicken house. They had a lot of fun in there so it became their favorite place to play.
Several years later, the girl said “I think we should stop playing in the chicken house.”
The boy aske...

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When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun

BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?

It is mean to make fun of Trump for using both hands to drink coz of his injury

He touched The Bible a few weeks ago and the injury hasn't healed yet.

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye....

Then it's just a game of "Find the eye!"

God, Man, and the Animals.

God: Some of the animals I've been creating are fun to pet.

Man: Which ones?

God: You'll just have to figure that out on your own. Where are you going to start?

Man: Wolves!

God: Oh.. well.. Let me know how that works out.

\*leaves for a couple of millennia\*
...

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My friend made fun of me for being a wrestling fan. He said, "You know that stuff is fake right?"

I said, "So, are your wife's boobs, but I still enjoy them for three hours every Monday night."

Dad's Shortcut

Dad used to tell us about the time he took a short cut home on Halloween. He grew up on a farm in western New York state, and at the time Halloween meant going out with his friend, Tommy, to do pranks. They had been out pranking drivers by tying a couple tin cans to the two ends of a long string, ...

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A man wakes and finds himself in hell

One day a man with many vices dies and finds himself in hell.

Wallowing in despair that his decisions in life have landed him in hell, he has a meeting with Satan.

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a l...

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I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants,

but he's still making fun of me.

Fun fact: The actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan and never wore aftershave.

That's right, Yul never wore cologne.

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Jacque and Pierre want to become American citizens

So they go to the consulate and they’re told to go into the service and after they come out they’ll be granted citizenship.

So Jacque goes into the paratroopers and Pierre goes into the infantry. About 6 months later after boot camp they meet up with each other.

Jacque says to Pierre...

Reddit, no matter how much I love cake...

...I would never dessert you.

(Thanks Reddit for 4 years of fun facts, interesting stories, and new hobbies!)

I saw anti-maskers in Wallmart recently and I laughed at them

But I remembered my parents told me not to make fun of mentally disabled people

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

Because he was a fun-gi

What do cows do for fun?

Go to the moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies!

(Cringe on purpose)

Let’s stop hating on flat earthers

We shouldn’t make fun of the mentally challenged

The Horse Challenge (LONG)

Every year, during fair season, a local farmer takes his horse and sets up a booth at various fairs. The rules are simple and the reward is great; make his horse nod yes and then shake his head no- doing this earns a $500 prize.

As it so happens fair season is in full swing, and the farmer...

A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don’t know if it translates well

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:

“What is this queue for?”

“Just for fun” says the women.

“But what if I don’t want to stand in the queue?” The Brit asks.

To which the woman replies “that’s w...

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama?

One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!

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Three young college kids on break for summer vacation decided to explore the far ends of the world and see what unique stories and legends they could experience.

Upon their journey, they find a small town filled with families and friends who have lived there for generations on end. The three talk it over and decide it would be fun to stay the night and go chat with the locals to see what transpires.

After checking into the lodge they proceed to unpac...

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