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Fun Jokes

C'mon guys don't make fun of Amber Heard's lawyer

He probably gets enough abuse from her as it is

Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .

At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

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I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.

Super Bowl Fun

It’s the Super Bowl, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the 50 yard line. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty. ‘This is incredible,’ said the ma...

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.

I was curious what my parents did for fun before the internet…

I asked my 23 siblings and they didn’t know either.

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Wordplay is fun.

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.

I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.

"I really need a new fucking boat," I thought to myself.

My wife thought it would be fun if we each have a list of 3 people that would be OK to sleep with if given the chance.

**Her list:** Paul Rudd, Adam Levine, and Channing Tatum

**My list:** Her best friend Stephanie, that barista at our coffee shop, and my ex girlfriend

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Fun fact I was born the same day a Green Day album was released

So, that means two American Idiots came out that day

Have you ever noticed how most Ford vehicles names are more fun when you put "anal" in front of them?

Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger, Focus

You shouldn't make fun of fat people.

They've got enough on their plates already.

I have an imaginary friend, but he keeps making fun of me.

He keeps saying, “At least I have a real friend.”

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's b...

After a fun night, he invited me to his place. But then I realized he was a communist.

I should've seen the red flags.

Fun fact

Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home

Good thing Chris rock didn’t make fun of hilaria baldwin.

Too soon?

Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Because she is thick and tired of it.

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." ...

Fun fact about composers!

Did you know the composers of classical music were the rockstars of their time?

It's true!

A lot of the showmanship we associate with popular musicians actually originated among classical composers.

For example, later in his career, Beethoven was known to start all his orchestr...

What turns making fun of a ginger into a hate crime?

Dyslexia

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A Man finishes having his fun with a Prostitute, he then escorts her to the door and says to her

"It was a business doing pleasure with you"

Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want...

But that child is going straight to the top...

And slightly to the left...

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Fun fact: you can never find a guy who has sex with fruit by himself

Because they always come in pairs

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth

Then it just becomes a soap opera.

My friends made fun of me because they found out that my girlfriend is imaginary...

Jokes on them, they're imaginary too.

Fun movie fact: Did you know that the movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director?

Because if it had direction, then the movie would be called "Velocity"

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I was sick of my wife always making fun of my crappy sense of directions...

... so I packed my things and right!

Fun idea:

Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. On your return ask where your child is.

How do you punctuate this: fun fun fun worry worry worry

Fun (period) Fun (period) Fun (no period) worry, worry, worry.

Step dad told me this 30 years ago... hope it still translates In writing.

They say "Time flies when you're having fun"...

I don't get it man, what's the best way to time a fly?

Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old European song of praise.

It was a Finnish hymn.

A girl I dated made fun of me for being colorblind

That's a huge grey flag for me!

Once upon a time, a King wanted to have some fun...

.... He went on a podium and said loudly: "I will give half of my fortune to anyone who manages to tell me a lie that I, myself, admit that it's a lie."

An old man walked to the King and said: "I can draw rainbows wherever I want."

The King replied: "That's true, I saw you making one y...

This one's a groaner for sure, but still fun. Happy Halloween!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP.....

If you call someone a “stick in the mud” it’s because they are no fun.

But if a dog finds a stick in the mud it’s the greatest day of his life.

Fun fact about hurricanes...

If it's not from the Hurricagne region of France it's just a sparkling tropical system

Fun fact, koi fish travel in groups of 4.

If attacked, Koi A, B, & C will scatter, leaving behind D Koi.

Let's have some fun with statistics. Did you know that in Vatican, there are...

.. two Popes per square km ?

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I was poking fun at my wife, and I apologized after, saying I was sorry for being a professional asshole.

She just shrugged and said "Nah, mediocre at best."

My girlfriend keeps making fun of me because I’m French.

I give up.

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“Son, I heard you got punished for saying the F-word in class. That wasn’t fun, was it?”

“No Dad, it was Fuck.”

Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn’t valid anymore.

There’s free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

Bill’s had a tough week, so he decides to have a little fun

It was Friday evening, it had been payday and Bill had really had a tough week.

So on leaving the office, he decided that instead of going home, he would stay out for the entire weekend partying with his buddies and in the process blow his entire weeks salary.

When he finally arrived h...

A CEO of a company called his secretary (his married mistress) and told her that he wants to go on a trip with her this weekend so they can have some fun

and that she can tell her husband it’s a work trip, so she agreed.

She called her husband and told him that she has a work trip so she won’t spend this weekend with him, he understood.

her husband called his mistress and told her that his wife is out this weekend so she should come bec...

FUN FACT: if you fart and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time...

but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"

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[NSFW] When a woman buys a vibrator, it’s seen as a bit of naughty fun. But….

When a man orders a 240 vault Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream with option of a moaner or panter in a 7.1 sound system, hes called a pervert

Never make fun of an Italian baker

Or he'll kick the focaccia.

One minute you're young and fun...

The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.

Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people.

They already have enough on their plates.

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After my wife died of a heart attack, I didn't want to settle down again right away. I wanted to have some fun first, so I went online to find a young girl with big tits that I could have casual sex with. Needless to say, my in laws weren't impressed...

They thought I should have called an ambulance first...

A normie mirror looks at a fun house mirror.

He feel repressed.

Will smith used to be so full of life and fun

now he just seems *jaded*

I don't need to have fun.

To drink.

What’s a taxidermist do for fun?

Stuff

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"Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin"

"Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop"

Making jokes about Trump taking us to war is all fun and games until

You realize you're a healthy young man

Abortions are so fun

It really brings out the kid in you

I once knew a guy who cross bred insects for fun.

I liked the guy at first, but eventually I got tired of his crazy ant ticks.

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Here's a joke I wrote... maybe it's dumb, but really fun to tell.

So, I went to the Home Depot today and stumbled upon this new device used in the emergency room to re-attach a man's private parts after an accident. And guess what? It's nothing but a staple gun! But, sometimes, they mess up and attach it to the wrong person, and I heard they had to invent ANOTHER ...

As a general rule, I never make fun of short people.

They have it hard enough putting food on the table.

I have no respect for those in wheel chairs who remain silent when people make fun of their disability

Stand up for yourself!

Why are arsonists fun people to be around

They light up the room every time they enter

A brunette, redhead and blond went to a remote fitness spa deep in the mountains for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded ...

I had a fun childhood, my dad used to push me down the hill in old tires

They were Goodyears

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Fun Fact:

When you say the word "poop" your lips make the same shape as your butthole.



Bonus Fact: the same is true for "Explosive Diarrhoea"

Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds fun

if you don’t know what either of those are

Why will dead baby jokes always be fun?

they will never get old

People are always making fun of vegans, but I don’t get it.

I have never had a beef with one.

Hey, I'm new to this Sub, and think I'm going to have a lot of fun here!

said the lettuce leaf foolishly. He was yet to come to terms that he, and eveyone else in this Sub, are going to be eaten.

My mother is Polish and my father was not, so growing up we heard a lot of Polish jokes from my father. All in good fun of course. Here is my favorite.

Yosh and Stosh decided they were going to take a vacation back to their native land Poland. So they’re on the plane halfway across the Atlantic and everything is going great when the captain makes an announcement over the intercom.

“Folks, were having a little trouble with on of the engines ...

Fun with police

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternit...

how much fun can a monk have?

Nun

fun with bear joke

## A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them!

Competitive kite flying was a lot of fun but I eventually had to quit.

Too many strings attached.

It’s not OK to make fun of someone with a prosthetic arm.

It’s not humerus.

When a group gather to make fun of the Walker Texas Ranger...

...It's a Chuck Roast

I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him.

I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

Why is it in poor taste to make fun of grandpa's balls?

It is low hanging fruit.

Fun Fact: If you drink the inside of the magic 8 ball, you can see the future.

My friend did it one and he said "I think I'm gonna die."

10 minutes later he actually did!

Schools are no fun nowdays.

20 years ago, me and my friends could run round the playground giving wedgies, and at most we'd have to write lines.

We tried it today and got arrested.

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Fun fact

If you cut off all your body hair and laid it end to end you’d be a fucking weirdo

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People think working at a zoo is fun, but just like most jobs

You have a lot of shit to deal with.

My friend invited me to go drag racing with him and I thought yeah that sounds fun

Turns out it is really freaking hard to run in the heels

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain’t had no fun all summer.”

“Now Paul,” she began, “what shall I do to correct this?”

“Get a boyfriend?” Paul replied.

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I don't normally make fun of somebody's race, but someone has to say it.

FUCK the 100 meter dash. It's just a weaker version of every other race.

Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind.

But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...

I hate when people make fun of my weight

They're just making a joke at my expanse

Star gazing isn’t very fun

I’ve been doing it all afternoon and now I can’t see

A man is talking to a woman and he asks for a fun fact about her. she tells him "I am missing all my toes". the man says, "I'm sorry but I can't date you". The woman asks why and the man responds:

I am lactose intolerant.

Fun fact: did you know that HIV is actually Roman for “high five”?

Pass it on – or, rather, don’t.

I had to apologize to my friend for making fun of his erectile dysfunction.

I said, “Hope there are no hard feelings.”

How do you call making fun of Jada Smith in front of Will?

A bald move.

Being called a "snack" or a "tall drink of water" is all fun and games

Until your partner leaves you outside the movie theater because no "outside food or drink is allowed".

Just saw a fun fact that said, "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays."

As opposed to what? ADULTS being born on Tuesdays?

I was told not to make fun of my girlfriend for waving smoke around the house for good luck.

It was some sage advice.

What do female reindeer do for fun?

Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.

Fun with numbers

So I was helping my son clean his room when I found 3 spent invisalign wrappers. I asked my son why there were 3, because 3 is such an odd number.

If you’re going to make fun of Crytpo Bros today make sure to use cheap shots.

That’s all they can afford.

I found an erectile dysfunction group online, it looks fun.

It can’t be hard to join

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'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrib...

British people like to make fun of Americans for not using the metric system.

But I’ve never heard of a single British person walking into a pub and ordering a half liter…

Why is it no fun to tell a hypochondriac a joke?

Because they think they got it, but they don’t got it.

I was at a comedy club in Russia last month and saw a decent stand up routine making fun of Putin.

I didn't love the guy's jokes, but he had a great execution.

FunFact

The flat earth society members are all around the globe!

Can we mix up the "yo momma" jokes on this sub? They're easy, fun, and don't get done enough.

Just like yo sista.

Every time when I tried to be a fun guy

I always get myself into big truffles

What do you call a fun sewer?

An amoozement park.

People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer

You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch

Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth.

For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.

I remember this one time in high school I pulled out my MP3 player and people started making fun off me for not having a smart phone

At least the quiet kid was there with a MP5

Fun fact:

When people read "Fun fact" they must click the post

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Fun facts about England Fun fact: Sussex, Wessex, Essex, and Middlesex, are all named for points on a compass, South, West, East, and Middle respectively, and represent places of Saxon occupancy. That is, Wessex means West Saxons.

But why Middle and not North, you ask. Well, Little Timmy, there's no north because no one wants to be called Nosex.

Fun fact: the first french fries weren’t made in France

They were made in Greece

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits..

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide...

making fun of a persons deceased mother is a low blow.

btw, the lowest blow I've ever gotten was from your mom.

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Fun fact: mountain lions pose a very low threat to humans. They're scared of us.

That's because they're big pussies.

How DARE you all make fun of 50 Cent’s weight from last night?!

It took a lot of courage for those two guys to hang upside down on national television!

I hate it when people complain about overused jokes. Let other people have fun, there’s no such thing as an overused joke.

Except for your mom.

Fun fact about the word "queue"

**Queue** is pronounced from only the letter "q" as the rest four are waiting for their turn!

Hunting Fun

Two guys go hunting one day and they come across a sheep with it's head stuck in the fence. The first guy says to his buddy, "Man I'm not gonna lie. It's been a while. This sheep is looking pretty good."

Second guy says, "sure dude. Go for it. I won't tell anyone."

So the 1st guy pulls...

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Keeping marriage fun

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
...

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A fun joke for the phone

Once bored with the conversation, ask the recipient to help you with a joke

Start off with "what has a small dick that hangs down?"

The typical answer "what??"

"A bat, you know, because it hangs upside down"

"Oh"

"What has a big dick that hangs up?'

"Huh?"<...

fun with friends

* Three friends, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first friend wishes he was off the island and back home. The second friend wishes the same. The third friend says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
* Two friends...

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Everyone likes to make fun of people who take Ivermectin

But I looked up some of the symptoms of Covid and apparently it can make you a little hoarse.


Sorry.

Today, my math teacher from Boston made fun of me for having a lisp.

What a mathole!!!

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