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Dresses Jokes

White wedding dresses

Two old men were sitting in a restaurant having a cup of coffee when one of them looks at the other and asks, “Why are wedding dresses always white?” The other man thinks for a moment and says, “Well, you know, I think it means the bride’s love is pure.”

The first old man does not seem convi...

Why don't Canadian women wear sleevless dresses?

Because they aren't allowed to bare arms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"That woman dresses like a stripper!"

"Yes, but she pulls it off really well!"

My mom dresses like my dad and my dad dresses like my mom

They're transparent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British soldier returns from war after 4 years against the Germans.

His faithful wife, longing for sex all these years, dresses up in her sheerest lingerie, hoping to entice her returning husband. She waits by the door as her husband enters and her lingerie gently slips off her body and she stands there naked. “Darling, look what the wind blew away”, she says seduct...

There's a male employee at the UN who dresses in drag at night.

He's a trans later

My girlfriend is always stealing my shirts and sweaters...

But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk"

A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"

She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."

Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.

"All household appliances come in white," said his father.

A man in the locker room of an upscale gym in NYC answers a cell phone and puts it on speaker while he dresses

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.

Woman : I also stopped b...

My wife just came home with 12 new dresses.

"What could anyone want with 12 new dresses?!?" I asked her.

She replied
"12 new pairs of shoes, of course."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dr...

A boy dresses up as a politician for Halloween

A boy dresses up as a politician for Halloween. His father speaks to him.

Father: What are you dressed as son?

Boy: I'm a politician dad!

Father: I'm not convinced, son. You haven't said anything controversial yet.

The boy pauses for a few seconds before speaking.

...

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and ent...

Don't go on Tinder

Go to Facebook marketplace....and search for wedding dresses.

It will show you recently divorced females.

From there you can filter by size.

Dear Audrey Advice.....

My son is a strapping 265lb star linebacker at our local university and a leader in our church youth group. We couldn't be more proud of him! However....I returned from grocery shopping today and found him prancing around the house in one of my dresses. What should I do??!
Sincerely,
Confused ...

Why are wedding dresses white

So that the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

A knight rides on a road. Suddenly, a frog comes to him.

\- I am under a spell, - the frog says. - Kiss me, and I'll become a beautiful princess, and will be your wife and love you forever.

The knight kisses the frog and - Bamf! - it indeed turns into a princess. And the princess is so beautiful, he embraces her, takes her clothes off, makes love t...

Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?

From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.

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