A man in the locker room of an upscale gym in NYC answers a cell phone and puts it on speaker while he dresses
Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
Woman : I also stopped b...
A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"
She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."
Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.
"All household appliances come in white," said his father.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Jumper cable joke
A guy from the country has some work to do in the city. It's all paperwork and he hates that shit. When he finally gets everything finished he decides to stop and have a beer before driving back home.
Unfortunately, the first place he stops is a posh fern bar. The bartender goes, "Dude, I ...
Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?
From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.
A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car.
He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go.
So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows hi...
An 80 year old man went to buy some clothes. He tried some modern tight dresses and when asked for a feedback, he told "These are like cheaply made castles."
No ball room
A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl... One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor.
After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home finds herself in a local gun shop, purchasing a handgun. The next day she awakens with renewed vengeance for her lover's betrayal. She dresses and...
What do you call someone who dresses in red, has a long beard, and says ho ho ho?
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and ent...