Camouflage clothing is so ugly...

It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

My father revealed to the me that he likes to dress in women’s clothing.

I still don’t understand it, but I appreciate his effort at being transparent.

A man and his clothing store

A long time ago there was a man who sold secondhand women's clothing at a small shop on the main road of a small town.
Now, this man, Theodore, had one joy in life: Arranging the mannequins in a way that made each garment look it's best, and placing them in the front window.
As he had gotten ...

William Shatner has discontinued his line of women's clothing.

Apparently, Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.

What kind of clothing uses a wheel?

Atire.

If you put on cowboy clothing...

Are you ranch dressing?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Raincoats are the least sexy clothing item...

The whole point is to make sure you never get wet.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay.

They quickly arrested me.

So I got kicked out of a clothing store today...

Apparently, the sign that said "Men's Pants 1/2 Off" wasn't a requirement to enter the store.

The world's leading expert on wet clothing walks into a record shop.

The expert asks the assistant "Do you have the latest edition of 'Wet Garments' Acoustics'? I'm sure your store just released it yesterday."

"Of course," the assistant replies. "Would you like to listen to it before you buy it?"

"Why, thank you," says the expert, and puts on a pair of...

My neighbor tricked me into buying his dog by claiming it could sew any article of clothing,

But all it does is pants.

Why does Batman wear Dark clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

The one who invented clothing

.....is also the first to feel shy

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

Why do unicyclists and bicyclists wear different clothing?

They find it easier to balance attire

My entire family really loves sleeveless clothing.

So we invest in vests, in vests.

What do call it when you score with a woman disguised in men’s clothing?

Transaction

I went to a store with a lot of clothing intended for skinny people.

They had some XS.

What do you call rubber clothing?

Attire

What's a flat earther's favorite clothing brand?

Land's End

I don’t mind camo print clothing...

I just can’t see myself wearing it.

If you wanted to stay completely anonymous, which item of clothing would be the worst to wear?

A dress.

What's an American's favourite clothing?

A lawsuit

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

What is Donald Trumps favourite type of clothing

Russian Ties

What do thunderclouds wear beneath their clothing?

Thunderpants.

Reposting a joke is like buying a piece of clothing...

you use other people's material to make yourself look good.

A man opened fire in a clothing store

there were reports of casual-tees.

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

What item of clothing is essential for a spy?

Sneakers

It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock.

Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.

My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing".

I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.

Clothing related typos...

They're the vest

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Did you hear about the nudist clothing store?

They're having a 100% off sale!

What's the most nervous piece of clothing?

A Sweater!

Psychic buys clothing

Employee: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small

Employee: You didn't even try it on

Psychic: I'm a medium

To the man on crutches and wearing camouflage clothing, who stole my wallet earlier:

You can hide, but you can't run.

How does a Jedi wash their clothing?

With midi-chlorine bleach.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied. Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointing to her privates, "You must put it in he...

What size clothing does a psychic wear?

Medium

Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing?

because he doesn't want to be spotted

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?

You seamstressed.

What do you call a priest who dresses in nuns' clothing?

A transistor

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicle...

I just opened an express clothing alteration business.

It's called Tailor Swift.

I found a shop that sells clothing made of brick.

It's a hardware store.

A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...

And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoy...

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is a pornstar's favorite article of clothing?

A jack it

A blond goes into a clothing store

A blond goes into a clothing store and sees a beautiful pair of crocodile boots.

"How much for the boots?" She asked the salesman.

"$400" the salesman replied.

"No way I would pay that much for boots!" exclaimed the blond, as she quickly exited the store.

Later that day, ...

What article of clothing is round and rubbery?

Attire.

What type of clothing does a House wear?

Address.

Why is leather clothing good for sneaking?

It's made of hide

One Day Mr. James Went To A Clothing Store And Said To The Sales Girl,

Mr. James: “My Wife Needs A Pair Of Jeans. But I Don’t Remember Her Waist Size.”

Sales Girl: “You Can Touch My Waist And Try To Calculate.”

Mr. James: “Oh I Forgot. She Also Needs A Bra.

Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing...

There were no casual tees.

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man see's a sign on a bar window "Win $1,000,000 - Details inside"

Curiosity peaked, he enters the bar and asks the bartender what's required to win the million.

​

"Ah, that?" The bartender casually replied, offering a challenging smirk. "It requires the completion of 3 tasks I believe to be impossible. It brought in a lot of business when ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A week at the gym

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

What is a pirates favorite article of clothing?

His sc*aaarrrr*f

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times...

But it stayed the same.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Fe...

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t...

I was surprised that my Christian clothing company is extremely popular with transvestites.

As it turns out, they love Cross Dressing.

As an airplane is about to crash...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shi...

I'm going to Bangalore to open a second hand clothing store.

And I'm gonna call it "Who's Sari Now."

Pirate captain and his clothing

This Pirate Captain is sailing his boat when he sees a merchant ship he wishes to raid. He know a battle will ensue so he tells his first mate, "First mate, fetch me my red shirt." The first mate gives a funny look, fetches the shirt then asks, "Sir, tell me, why a red shirt?" The captain replies, "...

I like drag racing

Dressing up in women's clothing and driving down the street full speed

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

A man goes on vacation and comes back home with stomach pain...

He goes to see a doctor, and after some testing, the doctor informs the man that he has worms in his stomach. The man begs the doctor for a remedy; so the doctor tells him to go to the market and get the sweetest watermelon he can find. After that, the doctor tells the man to go home, remove his clo...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Rabbi steps up to a urinal.

As he begins to urinate, a voice beside him says, "My friend, you are a Jew!"

​

Slightly surprised, he replies, "Okay, so you're some kind of genius. You see my clothing, and my..." (he gestures to his crotch) "... and you figure I'm a Jew. Please let me finish in peace!"...

The pope dies and gets met by Jesus at the gates of heaven.

As they step inside, a ferarri pulls up and a man in red robes steps out with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Shocked at such impropriety from a Cardinal, the pope asks Jesus what is going on.

"Oh," says Jesus, "he was a pious, celibate man his whole life, so dad gave him the opportuni...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click herefor more information.