Why does Batman wear Dark clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

So I got kicked out of a clothing store today...

Apparently, the sign that said "Men's Pants 1/2 Off" wasn't a requirement to enter the store.

The world's leading expert on wet clothing walks into a record shop.

The expert asks the assistant "Do you have the latest edition of 'Wet Garments' Acoustics'? I'm sure your store just released it yesterday."

"Of course," the assistant replies. "Would you like to listen to it before you buy it?"

"Why, thank you," says the expert, and puts on a pair of...

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I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay.

They quickly arrested me.

The one who invented clothing

.....is also the first to feel shy

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

Why did Bryan Cranston dress up as a priest and go around exorcising nuns' clothing?

He was breaking bad habits.

Adam Levine Collection has a clothing line at Kmart

His clothes are half off there too

Why do unicyclists and bicyclists wear different clothing?

They find it easier to balance attire

My entire family really loves sleeveless clothing.

So we invest in vests, in vests.

What do you call rubber clothing?


Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

I went to a store with a lot of clothing intended for skinny people.

They had some XS.

If you wanted to stay completely anonymous, which item of clothing would be the worst to wear?

A dress.

I don’t mind camo print clothing...

I just can’t see myself wearing it.

What is Donald Trumps favourite type of clothing

Russian Ties

What do thunderclouds wear beneath their clothing?


What's an American's favourite clothing?

A lawsuit

What's a flat earther's favorite clothing brand?

Land's End

What do call it when you score with a woman disguised in men’s clothing?


A man opened fire in a clothing store

there were reports of casual-tees.

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

What item of clothing is essential for a spy?


Did you hear about the new fashion trend of sticky clothing?

Its popular, but its really hard to pull off.

Reposting a joke is like buying a piece of clothing...

you use other people's material to make yourself look good.

It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock.

Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.

Clothing related typos...

They're the vest

What's the most nervous piece of clothing?

A Sweater!

How does a Jedi wash their clothing?

With midi-chlorine bleach.

To the man on crutches and wearing camouflage clothing, who stole my wallet earlier:

You can hide, but you can't run.

Psychic buys clothing

Employee: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small

Employee: You didn't even try it on

Psychic: I'm a medium

I'm starting a clothing company for people missing limbs. The name you ask?


My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing".

I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.

What size clothing does a psychic wear?


This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is a pornstar's favorite article of clothing?

A jack it

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?

You seamstressed.

Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing?

because he doesn't want to be spotted

I found a shop that sells clothing made of brick.

It's a hardware store.

I just opened an express clothing alteration business.

It's called Tailor Swift.

A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...

And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoy...

Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing...

There were no casual tees.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

A physicist walks into a clothing store looking for a new sweater

He tries one on in the dressing room, likes how it looks and feels, and takes it off. Upon trying to leave the dressing room, the door handle shocks him. Outraged, the man goes to customer service and asks, "Why are you charging me for trying on a sweater?!"

A popular post on reddit about a clothing store

has to be a hot topic

A blond goes into a clothing store

A blond goes into a clothing store and sees a beautiful pair of crocodile boots.

"How much for the boots?" She asked the salesman.

"$400" the salesman replied.

"No way I would pay that much for boots!" exclaimed the blond, as she quickly exited the store.

Later that day, ...

What article of clothing is round and rubbery?


What type of clothing does a House wear?


A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Fe...

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t...

One Day Mr. James Went To A Clothing Store And Said To The Sales Girl,

Mr. James: “My Wife Needs A Pair Of Jeans. But I Don’t Remember Her Waist Size.”

Sales Girl: “You Can Touch My Waist And Try To Calculate.”

Mr. James: “Oh I Forgot. She Also Needs A Bra.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe’s headache

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor says, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require removing your testicles.

You have a very rare condition...

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

The pope dies and gets met by Jesus at the gates of heaven.

As they step inside, a ferarri pulls up and a man in red robes steps out with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Shocked at such impropriety from a Cardinal, the pope asks Jesus what is going on.

"Oh," says Jesus, "he was a pious, celibate man his whole life, so dad gave him the opportuni...

Why is leather clothing good for sneaking?

It's made of hide

I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times...

But it stayed the same.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

I was surprised that my Christian clothing company is extremely popular with transvestites.

As it turns out, they love Cross Dressing.

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

Was solicited by a charity to donate my used clothing to starving people around the world. I said No Way!!

Anyone that could fit into my clothing, is NOT starving!!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

People say that without college I'm nothin

Bitch please I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger

*Hooks onto clothing rack*

A woman with split personalities works in the clothing department.

She is the cashier, but often believes that she is a customer. She thinks that because of this she'll never go anywhere in her life, but she's just selling herself shorts.

Pirate captain and his clothing

This Pirate Captain is sailing his boat when he sees a merchant ship he wishes to raid. He know a battle will ensue so he tells his first mate, "First mate, fetch me my red shirt." The first mate gives a funny look, fetches the shirt then asks, "Sir, tell me, why a red shirt?" The captain replies, "...

Bush hunters

Two Newfoundland hunters, Otis and Elmer, got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one moose.

The hunters objec...

I'm going to Bangalore to open a second hand clothing store.

And I'm gonna call it "Who's Sari Now."

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A good bar joke that always makes women laugh

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of ...

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When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.

Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointi...

A man goes into a Massage Parlor for his first Thai Massage

He's a little nervous because he's never gotten one before.

Before they start the woman asks him if he has any questions.

He says, "What should I expect?"

She replies, "Well you'll wear loose, comfortable clothing and lie on a mat. Traditional Thai massage uses no oils or lotio...

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An artist is commissioned to paint a mural in the newly built city hall.

The city council has decided the mural must be an important scene from American history. The artist accepts the deal with one condition.

No one can see the piece before it is completed.

Begrudgingly, the town council accepts, a contract is signed, and the artist begins work behind a m...

A man, his wife, and his friend are running from zombies during the apocalypse.

After hours of running they finally find shelter in a old pub they used to frequent, before the world was ending.

They begin scouting for supplies when the man notices blood on his wife's shirt.

"Honey, what is that there, on your clothes?" he asks her.

"Nothing!" she says quick...

A New Take on a Classic Joke

The weather outside has been cold as the left side of a killer whale's behind recently, and I decided to buy myself a new jacket. So I went to the mall with a friend to see what jackets there were available.

Unfortunately for me, everyone else in the city had the same idea. We first went to N...

An American woman went to a Hindu wedding in India...

and bought some traditional clothing to wear to it. When she got to the wedding, she saw another guest wearing the same thing she was, and was very upset.

"I can't believe I traveled halfway around the world, and someone wore the same dress as I did!", she cried.

"Sari", said the othe...

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NSFW Wiping your butt with a dollar

Two hunters are perched up in their stand deep in the woods. After several hours with no luck spotting any deer, one of them has to relieve himself.

In that moment, he realized that he forgot to bring toilet paper. He was quite far out from his truck, and it being the winter months, the trees...

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The Thanksgiving Story

Was told this joke when I was around 7 or 8 and thought it was the shit. Thought you guys might appreciate it as much as 7 year old me did.


The story starts off 1 week before Thanksgiving. A little boy is playing with some toys on his front porch. All of the sudden some te...