Camouflage clothing is so ugly...

It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

I used to wear a lot of women's clothing

Eventually they found out and I had to buy my own.

Why don't pot smokers run in weighted clothing?

It's bad for your joints.

I'm thinking about opening a clothing store. Half the store will carry only traditional, colorful women's gowns from India, and the other half will carry everything else.

I'm going to call it Sari/Not-Sari.

I went to the hunting store to buy some camouflage clothing...

But I didn't see anything that I liked.

Reposting a joke is like buying a piece of clothing

you use other people's material to make yourself look good

Why does Batman wear Dark clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Thanks to global warming, Inuit women are being forced to wear less and less clothing.

*No ice.*

A man and his clothing store

A long time ago there was a man who sold secondhand women's clothing at a small shop on the main road of a small town.
Now, this man, Theodore, had one joy in life: Arranging the mannequins in a way that made each garment look it's best, and placing them in the front window.
As he had gotten ...

So I got kicked out of a clothing store today...

Apparently, the sign that said "Men's Pants 1/2 Off" wasn't a requirement to enter the store.

I've become obsessed with ridiculing a Nun's clothing

It's a really bad habit.

William Shatner has discontinued his line of women's clothing.

Apparently, Shatner panties just didn't sell that well.

What kind of clothing uses a wheel?


My neighbor tricked me into buying his dog by claiming it could sew any article of clothing,

But all it does is pants.

If you put on cowboy clothing...

Are you ranch dressing?

My father revealed to the me that he likes to dress in women’s clothing.

I still don’t understand it, but I appreciate his effort at being transparent.

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Raincoats are the least sexy clothing item...

The whole point is to make sure you never get wet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People say that without college I'm nothin

Bitch please I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger

*Hooks onto clothing rack*

Did you hear about Gucci's new baby line of clothing?

It's called "Gucci Gucci Goo"

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

The world's leading expert on wet clothing walks into a record shop.

The expert asks the assistant "Do you have the latest edition of 'Wet Garments' Acoustics'? I'm sure your store just released it yesterday."

"Of course," the assistant replies. "Would you like to listen to it before you buy it?"

"Why, thank you," says the expert, and puts on a pair of...

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I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay.

They quickly arrested me.

The one who invented clothing also the first to feel shy

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

Adam Levine Collection has a clothing line at Kmart

His clothes are half off there too

Why do unicyclists and bicyclists wear different clothing?

They find it easier to balance attire

What do call it when you score with a woman disguised in men’s clothing?


What do you call rubber clothing?


I went to a store with a lot of clothing intended for skinny people.

They had some XS.

If you wanted to stay completely anonymous, which item of clothing would be the worst to wear?

A dress.

What do thunderclouds wear beneath their clothing?


I don’t mind camo print clothing...

I just can’t see myself wearing it.

What's an American's favourite clothing?

A lawsuit

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

A man opened fire in a clothing store

there were reports of casual-tees.

What is Donald Trumps favourite type of clothing

Russian Ties

What's a flat earther's favorite clothing brand?

Land's End

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

What item of clothing is essential for a spy?


Clothing related typos...

They're the vest

My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing".

I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.

It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock.

Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.

Psychic buys clothing

Employee: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small

Employee: You didn't even try it on

Psychic: I'm a medium

Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing?

because he doesn't want to be spotted

To the man on crutches and wearing camouflage clothing, who stole my wallet earlier:

You can hide, but you can't run.

How does a Jedi wash their clothing?

With midi-chlorine bleach.

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?

You seamstressed.

I just opened an express clothing alteration business.

It's called Tailor Swift.

What size clothing does a psychic wear?


A bilingual joke! (English/Spanish)

A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...

A blond goes into a clothing store

A blond goes into a clothing store and sees a beautiful pair of crocodile boots.

"How much for the boots?" She asked the salesman.

"$400" the salesman replied.

"No way I would pay that much for boots!" exclaimed the blond, as she quickly exited the store.

Later that day, ...

What's the most nervous piece of clothing?

A Sweater!

What do you call a priest who dresses in nuns' clothing?

A transistor

A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...

And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoy...

Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing...

There were no casual tees.

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

A physicist walks into a clothing store looking for a new sweater

He tries one on in the dressing room, likes how it looks and feels, and takes it off. Upon trying to leave the dressing room, the door handle shocks him. Outraged, the man goes to customer service and asks, "Why are you charging me for trying on a sweater?!"

I found a shop that sells clothing made of brick.

It's a hardware store.

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What is a pornstar's favorite article of clothing?

A jack it

What article of clothing is round and rubbery?


What type of clothing does a House wear?


Why is leather clothing good for sneaking?

It's made of hide

One Day Mr. James Went To A Clothing Store And Said To The Sales Girl,

Mr. James: “My Wife Needs A Pair Of Jeans. But I Don’t Remember Her Waist Size.”

Sales Girl: “You Can Touch My Waist And Try To Calculate.”

Mr. James: “Oh I Forgot. She Also Needs A Bra.

Why is depressed clothing so convenient?

It hangs itself

What is a pirates favorite article of clothing?

His sc*aaarrrr*f

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied. Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointing to her privates, "You must put it in he...

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times...

But it stayed the same.

Michael Strahan has a line of clothing at JC Penneys

I think the Gap would be more appropriate.

Was solicited by a charity to donate my used clothing to starving people around the world. I said No Way!!

Anyone that could fit into my clothing, is NOT starving!!

Pirate captain and his clothing

This Pirate Captain is sailing his boat when he sees a merchant ship he wishes to raid. He know a battle will ensue so he tells his first mate, "First mate, fetch me my red shirt." The first mate gives a funny look, fetches the shirt then asks, "Sir, tell me, why a red shirt?" The captain replies, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicle...

New clothing store seen at local Mall named 'Off Topic'.

Apparently it's aimed at edgy teens with ADHD.

This huge guy broke into my house last night.

I confronted him but he punched me in the stomach then smacked me across the face. While I lay on the ground he stole my wallet, my phone, and then walked out with my TV.

I didn't manage to scratch him or take a photo but rang the police anyway in the hope they'd at least be able to find a...

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," mused the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and quite beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No way! They have no clothing and no shelter," the Russian points out. "They have only an apple to eat, a...

So I was just starting to play Harry Potter - Wizards Unite...

...and was walking down the street. I noticed a young lady at the bus stop was also playing, which sparked a small conversation. She was very cute, maybe in her early 20s. She was telling me all about the professions you can pick from because she just hit level six. I was only level four so it was e...

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