Just learned that French fashion designers are trying to develop a clothing line made from frozen water.

I SWEAR!!

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I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay.

They promptly arrested me.

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.

“In front of you”?”, he asks, shyly.

The nurse says, “Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.”

The patient said, “Not one like mine. You would die laughing at my naked bo...

Most people don’t believe me, but I can promise you that I made clothing from frozen water.

Ice wear.

Did you hear about the explosion at the Scottish clothing company?

Such losses. The police are notifying the next of kilt.

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I saw two men walking down the street together wearing the same clothing, so I asked them if they were gay.

They did not hesitate to arrest me after I said that

I got some really cool clothing for my tonsils

Now I have post-nasal drip

Idk if this has been done before, I thought of it today in gym class: what’s a baby’s favorite clothing brand?

Fruit of the womb

What's a mass murderer's favorite article of clothing?

Casual T's.

I entered a competition to see who could put on the most items of clothing in a minute. I was in the lead, but right at the last second, my opponent managed to throw something around his neck and draw level.

It was a tie.

There were three guys named Jackson who were all in the clothing business.

Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to *their* store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.

The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's c...

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Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it was in ...

There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.

He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the o...

What is the opposite of Nautica clothing?

Ica clothing

What is DNA’s favourite piece of clothing ?

Jeans (genes)

What kind of clothing do Karens wear?

A lawsuit.

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A woman, about to undergo an IRS audit, asked her accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let them think you are a pauper".

Then she asked her legal counsel the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your finest attire".

Utterly confused at this point, she went to her rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of her dilemma. "Let me tell you...

I'm going to open an adventure clothing store for old ladies.

It'll be called Nana Republic

A nun teaching at a Catholic school frequently shows up to work in normal clothes because of how poorly-made the set of religious clothing she was given is.

It's a bad habit.

One from my nephew: Whats Scooby-Doo's favorite piece of clothing?

A SCARF!

You know the clothing company Puma? They make Puma shirts, Puma socks...

I wonder why they don't make pants

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Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

The bra is the most democratic piece of clothing

It elevates the small ones, it supports the big ones and it keeps the masses together.

What material should you avoid using because it will make clothing too light?

fiber optics

Why did young Freud wear women's clothing?

He kept trying to get into his mom's pants.

My friend and I had a tuxedo contest

But then we realized we both forgot a crucial clothing piece.

It was a tie.

My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing.

...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.

As an airplane is about to crash

a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Why does Batman wear Dark clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright clothing?

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.

Husband: Why not just
throw it in the trash? That's
much easier.

Wife: But there are poor
starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey,
anyone who fits into your
clothing is not starving.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap for clothing.

The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see you're nuts."

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Mr Simpson owned a high end clothing store.

One day, just around closing up, a pretty young woman walks in, browses for a bit and ends up staring at a very expensive designer dress standing proudly in the centre of the store.
Mr Simpson notices, quietly walks up beside her and says 'it's a beauty, isn't it?'
She glances at him, sighs ...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like
that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not ...

Apparently scarves are the most dangerous form of winter clothing.

The least dangerous are sweater vests. They’re completely armless

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When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied. Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointing to her privates. "You must put it in he...

I bought camoflauge clothing

No one seemed to notice.

I just walked by a boy with some poor clothing

I said: "Awe, are you an orphan"?

He said: "Yes, what gave me away?"

To which I replied: "Your parents."

Hey reddit, here's a weird game:

For every upvote, I'll remove one item of clothing.

(come on guys, the washing-line is almost empty.)

A duck walks into a clothing store in 2020 ...

....and waits two minutes for an associate to help her. No one does and the duck gets progressively more upset. And quacks up a storm.

Another shopper passes by, sees the uncovered bill and mumbles “Karen is mighty fowl.”

A homeless man with poor clothing is walking one day when he sees a church is having a service so he goes inside. When he gets inside a person walks up to him looks at his clothes and tells him to leave.

The man goes and sits outside and has a small cry when a voice behind him says "whats wrong"?. When he explains what has happened the voice replies don't worry my son my name is god and I have been trying to get into that place for years

Did you hear about the psychic that started a clothing line?

Everything she sold was a medium.

A blonde looking to make some money.

A blonde looking to make some money is walking down the high street.
He walks past a shop front and can't believe his eyes when he sees the sign:
"suits-$12
Shirts-$3"
Being a businessman, he starts calculating. He realizes this is a great opportunity, he can start a clothing export ...

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A man went to the doctor suffering from severe headaches.

After a thorough examination, the doctor turned to him and said: "Jerry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration." "You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates these serious headaches...

Two scientist were exploring Chernobyl years after the incident.

They were shocked to find a man still living in the area seemingly unaffected by the radiation. They ask the man if he would return with them to conduct some tests to which he agreed.

They explained that as the man was probably highly irradiated, he would have to put on some protective clothi...

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NSFW: hope this isn't a repost, never seen it here, but one of my favorites I heard at least 20 years ago . A woman is walking alone on the beach one day....

Enjoying the beautiful day when she stubs her toe and stumbles over something in the sand. She turns around and is stunned to see a genie rising from smoke out of a lamp. The genie looks at her twirling his goatee and informs her he can grant her one wish. She takes a moment to ponder her decision a...

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