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Stylist Jokes

The hair stylist said "do you want any conditioner on that?"

I said "Extra volume?" and she said "DO YOU WANT ANY CONDITIONER ON THAT?"

A cult attempted to indoctrinate a hair stylist...

But despite their efforts, they just couldn’t condition her.

A Newcastle girl goes into a hair salon

The stylist says "Why aye lass, what do yee want?"

"Can I have a perm please?" says the customer. The stylist responds:

*Ah wandered lernley as a cloud that flerts on high oer vales an' hills...*

What did the police say about the hair stylist turned super villain?

Their evil plans were dye-a-follicle.

Why are hair stylists the best psychopaths?

Because they want everybody to dye.

How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?

He took a shortcut.

How do hair stylists get in shape?

Curling Iron.

A lawyer, garbage collector, and hair stylist sit down at a bar

The lawyer orders a shot of whiskey and drinks it right away. The garbage collector orders some tequila and downs it immidiatly. The hair stylist says "I don't do shots" and then quickly dies of polio.

What's a boxing hair stylist's speciality?

Bob and weaves

My boxing student quit so I think I’m going to replace her with my stylist.

I remember that she said she was proud of her bob and weave.

What did the hair stylist do when the Beach Boys came on?

The barber ran

Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.

His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.

Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.

His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.

Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.

There's a guy in my neighbourhood who I used to think was really weird. I'd always see him out walking his rabbit. The rabbit was always in a different outfit. One day a frock. One day a skirt. One day a suit-jacket combo. Then it multiplied into a flock of rabbits, all wearing really niche clothes.

Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I approached him and asked "excuse me sir, I can't help but notice your entourage of dapper rabbits. Can I ask what you do?"

He replied "Oh I'm a hare stylist."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Al Gore is in the wrong line of work

Some people's names match their careers surprisingly well. Imagine a psychic named Krystal Ball or a stylist named Barbera Cutter.

But Al Gore is a failure in this regard. He had the perfect opportunity to start a math rock band in the 80s or 90s and just chose to not. It should have been fa...

What do you call a barber that only works on bald people?

An air stylist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl walks into a hair salon eating a twinkie

The stylist thinks nothing of it and begins to cut her hair. The cut hair falls and lands on her twinkie, so the stylist says "hey, your getting hair on your twinkie." The little girl smiles and jumps up and says "Yea, and im getting tits too!"

How many people does it take to start a K-Pop band?

Just one korean and a really good stylist

A blonde walks into a hair salon.

A blonde woman walks into a hair salon wearing a big pair of headphones. She sits down and the stylist asks her if she would take the headphones off so he can cut her hair. The blonde says "no, sorry, the headphones have to stay".

He replies "Are you sure? I can't really give you a good hair...

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