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Popular Jokes

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So I was looking up popular pornographic search terminology...

Turns out FFM, Bondage, and Watersports are a three way tie for #1.

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Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?

They love anything that's 15% off

Just a joke lol

What is the most popular type of tree in California?

Ash.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts

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I've translated a popular Russian joke to English , wanna hear you reaction ))

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 * 7?' so I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "

"Indeed, what is the difference?" ask...

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity

Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

A police officer spots a car parked in a popular make-out spot late one night, and decides to investigate.

He sees a young man behind the wheel reading a newspaper and a young woman in the passenger seat knitting. This is a puzzling sight, so he decides to find out more about these individuals.

"How old are you?" he asks the guy.

"Twenty-one, officer," he replies

"What about you?" ...

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A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils...

... One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him.

As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The bouncer immediately lets him in.

The mirror rolls his eyes as the toilet pushes through.

Next, a limo pulls up and ...

Late one night a police officer was patrolling a desolate area popular with young couples doing more than just sitting in the dark.

Catching his attention was a couple in a car with the interior light on. Moving closer, the cop could see a young man behind the steering wheel reading a newspaper. In the backseat a young blonde was knitting.

The lawman walked up to the vehicle and knocked on the driver-side window. The star...

What's the most popular red wine??

We want our land back!!

Will glass coffins ever become popular?

Remains to be seen.

Santa walks into the North Pole bar, takes a seat, and asks the bartender for his most popular shot

Bartender pours out something that looks like candy cane. “It’s called ‘Elf Cum’”.

Santa cringes, but downs it and remarks, “Gee, that’s really good, but why do you call it ‘Elf Cum’?”

Bartender replies, “When I tested it out with Mrs. Claus, she said, ‘That tastes just like ...

Why isn't /r/Fencing more popular?

Too many ripostes.

What's Saudi Arabia's most popular sitcom?

How I bought your mother

In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti dandruff shampoo line.

The decision left many scratching their heads.

What is South Korea’s most popular rock band?

Lee Kim Park

Why are sandwiches so popular in Alabama?

They're inbread

Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.

I mean he just blew up overnight.

Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app...

called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.

Popular celebrity survives suicide attempt.

BREAKING NOOSE!

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John, the second least popular kid in our class tried to act over smart...

So, John decides to come up to me one day - out of the blue - and tries to up his status among the class by picking on the one kid that had no friends - again, me.

“So, I saw your father yesterday.”

This was curious. I knew my father was at work, so it was highly unlikely that John wou...

Why isn’t homeschooling more popular in Texas?

It costs a lot of money to field your own football team.

What's the most popular dating app?

Google calendar

Beauty contests are becoming a popular way to promote things. For instance, the winner of the Trigonometry Club's beauty pageant was crowned....

Miss Calculation.

Tour Leader pageant winner:
Miss Guided

Encyclopedia Brittanica pageant winner:
Miss Information

Why is ground beef so popular?

Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and sh...

What's the name of the most popular French knight?

Sir Ender.

Dad, are you having a crush on a young popular actress?

Am I what, son?

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What do you call the online version of a popular Japanese desert?

An e-mochi

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The popularity of Lightning McQueen racecar beds probably means that Lightning McQueen has been peed on more then any other fictional character.

He really does deserve the "Pissed In" cup.

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An on-duty police officer is staking out a particularly popular bar right before closing time hoping to catch anyone trying to drink & drive

As the patrons start exiting the bar at closing time, he sees one guy who seems particularly drunk.

The cop watches intently as this guy stumbles off the curb, trips over his own feet and tries his car keys on 4 different cars before ultimately finding his own. Once he finally finds his car a...

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Kate Upton & Kate Middleton compete in a popularity contest

Kate Upton goes first, she gets up on stage and undoes her blouse and starts shaking her tits up, down, and in all directions, the audience which consists of mostly men start cheering and going crazy, Kate Middleton then gets up on stage, sets a chair up, takes a seat and starts douching, the audien...

Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother…

Sudden Lee

Did you hear about the new food delivery service that features people wearing really tight jeans that were popular in the 80's?

It's called Jor-Dash

Which popular action figure has a farm?

GI GI Joe

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When did dishes with eggs as the centerpiece become popular in Japan?

It was a long tamago.

Due to an increase in popularity, koi farmers are discovering an increase in counterfeit fish.

They’ve begun using a lettered grading scale:

As are the most rare of purebred koi’s

Bs are the more common variety purebred koi’s

Cs are mix/hybrid koi’s

Everything else are D koi’s

It’s amazing how popular Instagram is in America.

Didn’t think they liked the metric system.

What's the most popular band in Chernobyl?

Fall Out Boy

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A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. (one of my favourite jokes, worth the read)



However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can't afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the z...

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A pilot accidentally left on the intercom and was heard saying, "I could really use a coffee and a blowjob"

A stewardess quickly ran towards the cockpit, and a passenger yelled out, "you forgot the coffee!"

Eta: Looks like Good Will Hunting made this joke popular.

(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?

They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..

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Why did the ladder suddenly become popular in porn movies?

Because it was a step ladder

Why has soccer suddenly become so popular in America?

If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I’d bring my friends to the bar.

Books about earthquakes are extremely popular.

They're literally flying off the shelves.

The popularity of origami has increased

ten fold.

I asked the sodium if it was a popular element

It said Na

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What’s the most popular porn site in Kentucky?

Onlyfams

If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced

"BOOM"



I hope that blew your minds

My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it

Post office

Post Malone may be a popular rapper, but have you heard of his long-lost cousin Ho Malone?

His most popular track is about some kid named Kevin who has to fight off burglars in his house.

The popularity of skiing has decreased somewhat lately

In fact, it's going downhill fast.

What is the most popular song in hell?

Burn baby burn, Dantes inferno!

California is looking to eradicate a once popular item.

Apparently it was the last straw.

Too soon for COVID jokes?

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.

It was the pair on the ground!

What's the most popular chewing gum flavor in Belarus?

Pepperminsk

I figured out why orgies were so popular in ancient Rome.

For starters, you need four people to LXIX.

Why are Bananas so Popular?

Because they have a Peel for Everyone!

What summer sport is most popular with fit albinos?

Bleach volleyball.

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I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state…

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state. It marketed itself as a tavern, to get tourists to come in and buy a bite to eat, but the locals knew it by the name of the former owner, Pete.

Pete had died a few years before I started working there. His younger broth...

What's the most popular candy in Rwanda?

Tutsi Roll

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

What's the most popular drink ordered at bars?

One more

What is a popular search engine for ghosts?

Ghoul-gle!

What is the most popular tree on YouTube?

A face plant

The only joke I know.

How does a cow introduce his wife...?

He says, "meat patty".

I am very sorry.

Edit: it makes sense that my only popular post is a dad joke. I've never received any awards before so thank you everyone, this is insane.

Also, I understand everyone is upset about the cow vs b...

Why are graveyards so popular?

People are just dyyyying to get in there

The most popular man in the world

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone ha...

A popular gorilla exhibit at a local zoo had its only resident pass away

The zoo, not having enough time and money to replace the perished primate, gave one of their employees a gorilla suit and told them to go into the exhibit and act like a gorilla. He at first disagreed, like anyone would, until they offered an enormous raise. He then of course accepted the money and...

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My blind girlfriend said my dick was big

But I think she was pulling my leg.

UPDATE: Thank you all for getting me on the popular page!

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Anal bleaching would be a lot more popular

If they just called it changing your ringtone

I finally know why tiktok is still popular

Because one man's trash, is another man's treasure

Contrary to popular belief, Santa was born in the USSR.

If you had to deliver that many gifts in one night, you'd be Russian around too.

Fireworks have been really popular in 2020.

Sales have skyrocketed.

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What is the most popular streaming service among men with a micro penis?

Peacock

What virtual private network is most popular in Skyrim?

NordVPN

Hey girl, are you an obelisk?

Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.

Why are sea shanties so popular right now?

They’re about current events.

Egyptian mythology has become popular in Syria

Isis has been blowing up over there

What was 2020's most popular board game?

Pandemic.

What are the most popular jokes during the pandemic?

Inside jokes.

You know what the least popular are?

Knock Knock jokes.

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Why was the cruise full of penises and potatoes not popular?

It was actually a dick tater ship.

What's the most popular dating site in India?

Connect the dots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the most popular proverb in Alabama?

Cum is thicker than blood

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What's the most popular movie at a nudist colony?

Free Willy


I'm happy with thinking of this myself.

I once appeared in a theatre production about a very popular web programming language

JavaScript?

No, it was entirely improvised.

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What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?

Toy-Yoda.

Why is the air conditioning popular at school

Its very cool

Why is Among Us so popular in China?

Because its the only thing that lets them vote

After his popularity waned, Vanilla Ice...

Took a job at a hospital information desk. A panicked man ran up and asked "Where's the ICU?! My mom's been in a horrible accident!" Without looking up, Vanilla sighed heavily and said "Ward 2: Your Mother."

Who are the most popular married couple with their own TV fishing program?

Rod and Annette.

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Which US President was most popular among Spanish porn stars?

L.B.J.

Contrary to popular belief, Children are not a natural occurrence...

Turns out they are Man-made.

What's the most popular book in Mexico?

Tequila Mockingbird

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A popular joke in Nazi Germany

A Nazi Bigwig is on a diplomatic trip through Switzerland and notices a large government building. He asks his guide what agency it is.

The guide replies: "It's the head quarters of the marines"

The Nazi is surprised and laughs. "Why does Switzerland need a ministry of marines?"
...

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

.

.

.

.

they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

After looking at my phones call log, I seem to be pretty popular

I even have a guy named Spam Risk that calls me 5 or 6 times a day.

Rumor has it that Lionel isn't popular with his teammates at Paris Saint-Germain.

He tends to leave the locker room a little Messi.

No wonder fortnite is so popular among school children

Who doesn’t love hopping off the bus and shooting everybody in sight?

Why is yeast a popular microorganism?

Because he's a fun-guy

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "130."

So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

Another guy came in for a drink and th...

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This years most popular handheld device is...

the mobile phone, just beating last years favourite of the penis

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Why is it so popular for plants to change sex?

Because they have less stigma to stamen.

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