A man and his wife are travelling through the United States, when they notice a sign telling them that the town they are entering is called Kissimee.
They quickly start arguing about the correct way to pronounce it. "KISS-a-me," says the husband. "That's wrong," says the wife, "The right way to say it is kis-A-me." "Not necessarily," says the husband, "It could also be kis-a-ME."
Their argument continues as they enter town, and decide t...
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a pornstar entering a barber shop, sitting next to a nun
the nun is currently getting her hair done.. meanwhile the pornstar is talking dirty shit about how he would like to have sex with the nun
the nun tries to ignore those words, when her hair is finished, she says she cant do such unspeakable things as a nun, an leaves
the barber then te...
A man is going through customs entering Australia
The man behind the desk asks him "do you have a criminal record?" The man replies "No, I didn't know that was still a requirement"
What is the legal loop hole in breaking and entering laws?
The Santa Clause
There was a man entering heaven's gate.
This is an old joke so I expect people already knew about it.
There was a man entering heaven's gate and St. Peter asked him. "What makes you think you deserve to enter heaven?"
The man replied when I was alive I once saw a biker gang harassing an old lady and when they are supposed t...
What must you do before entering a cookie eating competition?
Sign a wafer.
**Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.**
**"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes** **Christmas to get into heaven."**
**The first man fumbled through his pockets and ...
A baby camel asks his father, “Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?”
The dad replies, "So that we can store water in those."
He then asks, "Why do we have hooves then?"
The dad replies, "To prevent our feet from sinking in the sand."
After thinking this over, he then asks, "Then why do we have big eyelids?”
The dad rep...
What did the narcissist say after entering the hospital ER?
"You can all go home, I feel great!"
“It was terrible,” moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.
“I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.”
“Well,” said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, “how in the world did you get here at all?”
“Well,” replied the student, “finally after twent...
Egyptians always fart before entering a room
There's an exception in the breaking and entering laws for people coming in through the chimney
It's called the Santa clause