UPJOKE
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The devil is surprised one day to find a habitual liar, a pervert, an idiot and a man in a wheelchair entering hell.

Still, he keeps his professional demeanor and extends a warm welcome saying, "Greetings, Representative Cawthorn. You're just in time, the daily GOP cocaine orgy is just beginning."

What must you do before entering a cookie eating competition?

Sign a wafer.

Two men were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent.

"You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let’s find where it’s coming from!”. After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let’s get something to eat!" they both were hungry but bob reminded him that they couldn’t enter with their dogs! so tom said "it...

“It was terrible,” moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.

“I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.”

“Well,” said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, “how in the world did you get here at all?”

“Well,” replied the student, “finally after twent...

There's an exception in the breaking and entering laws for people coming in through the chimney

It's called the Santa clause

I'm having a hard time stopping my musician ex from entering my house despite changing the locks multiple times...

I guess they were always better at key changes than me.

What did the narcissist say after entering the hospital ER?

"You can all go home, I feel great!"

There was a man entering heaven's gate.

This is an old joke so I expect people already knew about it.

There was a man entering heaven's gate and St. Peter asked him. "What makes you think you deserve to enter heaven?"

The man replied when I was alive I once saw a biker gang harassing an old lady and when they are supposed t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a pornstar entering a barber shop, sitting next to a nun

the nun is currently getting her hair done.. meanwhile the pornstar is talking dirty shit about how he would like to have sex with the nun

the nun tries to ignore those words, when her hair is finished, she says she cant do such unspeakable things as a nun, an leaves

the barber then te...

I told my hypoxemic patient that his blood started entering the deoxygenated chambers of his heart.

I said it was all RIGHT.

Hodja, a Turkish farmer, is coming home from the marketplace, and as he's entering his home he sees two men he owes money to coming down the road to his house.

Stepping inside, he instructs his wife to tell the two creditors that he isn't home.

The two men arrive and knock on his door, the wife answers and tells them Hodja isn't home. The two men are annoyed, and one says "don't give us that nonsense, we just saw him walk in this door two minutes ag...

What crime did the cheap condom commit?

Breaking and entering

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