Dos Jokes

*Poof* ... He disappears without a tres.

Every time I've asked for it they've only given me one.

c:/dos run

run dos run

Two. One to screw in the comedian, one to mess the joke up.

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Won," radioed the American sub.

And he vanished without a trace

They all lie about there being cake.

But before he can finish his sentence, a gunshot rings through the air and he falls to the floor, blood oozing out of his head. Screams are everywhere as the audience seeks cover.

His best friend Nathaniel is in the audience, but all he can do is sit there in shock and stare at the corpse of ... read more

baseball.bat

A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within ... read more

Researchers from the Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara in Mexico discovered that a single dose of the corona virus vaccine was capable of alleviating life-threatening and reducing transmission rates by 87%.

An audio excerpt from the conversations of the two researchers, C. Guillermo and H. ... read more

>!Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.!<

There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.

One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,... read more

But when I do...

I take dos testes

Over dos.

They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft UNO.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

A world famous Hispanic magician walked on stage to thunderous applause from a large crowd. He announced to the audience that he would disappear before their very eyes before the count of three. He begins the count “Uno, Dos..” POOF! He disappeared without a Tres.

BanDDoS

Did you hear about the Spanish Magician?

He was so good he could say,

“Uno…

Dos…”

Then he was gone without a trace.

"Uno pea, dos pea, tres pea, cuatro pea", and then he fainted.

Kim Jon dos

They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux Trois". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. Af... read more

D--Dos

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

“I don’t always drink milk, but when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”

They’re calling it “dos sickies”

In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.

Dos Sickies

I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don'... read more

He tells his friend he has a boat named uno, dos, tres, cuatro, and seis.

His friend asks what happened to the fifth one

The Spanish man says: Cinco!

Dos Eggies

Or maybe it’s Dos Equis because it feels 2X as bad.

Because it was over-dos!

Dos Equis.

Fear of over dos