Every time I've asked for it they've only given me one.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..."
*Poof* ... He disappears without a tres.
c:/dos
c:/dos run
run dos run
How many lightbulbs dos it take to screw in a comedian?
Two. One to screw in the comedian, one to mess the joke up.
"Un, deux, trois, quatre", radioed the French ship...
...before it cinq.
"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.
"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.
"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.
"Won," radioed the American sub.
I was watching a magician in Spain and he counted, "Uno, Dos"
And he vanished without a trace
How are Marie Antoinette, Princess Peach, and GLaDOS alike?
They all lie about there being cake.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says “uno, dos...”
But before he can finish his sentence, a gunshot rings through the air and he falls to the floor, blood oozing out of his head. Screams are everywhere as the audience seeks cover.
His best friend Nathaniel is in the audience, but all he can do is sit there in shock and stare at the corpse of ...
Back in the DOS days, I wrote a single file program that was a hit.
baseball.bat
A Mexican man is found unresponsive...
A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana. Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within ...
COVID Vaccine Efficacy
Researchers from the Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara in Mexico discovered that a single dose of the corona virus vaccine was capable of alleviating life-threatening and reducing transmission rates by 87%.
An audio excerpt from the conversations of the two researchers, C. Guillermo and H. ...
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.
>!Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.!<
The Spanish assassin
There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.
One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,...
I don't always neuter my animals...
But when I do...
I take dos testes
Why should you never do drugs three times in one night?
Over dos.
Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9.
They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft UNO.
How do '90s kids count to 6?
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.
The greatest magic trick
A world famous Hispanic magician walked on stage to thunderous applause from a large crowd. He announced to the audience that he would disappear before their very eyes before the count of three. He begins the count “Uno, Dos..” POOF! He disappeared without a Tres.
What are Mexican hackers called?
BanDDoS
Heard from my manager at work
Did you hear about the Spanish Magician?
He was so good he could say,
“Uno…
Dos…”
Then he was gone without a trace.
A Spaniard is counting small green vegetables...
"Uno pea, dos pea, tres pea, cuatro pea", and then he fainted.
Who will replace Kim Jon Un after he dies
Kim Jon dos
An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water
They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux Trois". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. Af...
How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?
D--Dos
A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick
The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!
What did the baby say to the mama?
“I don’t always drink milk, but when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”
Did you know that people are starting to relapse and get Coronavirus a second time?
They’re calling it “dos sickies”
A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist
In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.
What do you call it when two people have Coronavirus?
Dos Sickies
Stay neglectful my friends
I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don'...
A Spanish man is showing his friend his boats
He tells his friend he has a boat named uno, dos, tres, cuatro, and seis.
His friend asks what happened to the fifth one
The Spanish man says: Cinco!
What does the most interesting man in the world eat for breakfast?
Dos Eggies
I think I have the Corona virus....
Or maybe it’s Dos Equis because it feels 2X as bad.
Why did the Hispanic man die after taking three pills?
Because it was over-dos!
What happens if you get Coronavius twice?
Dos Equis.
Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?
Fear of over dos
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