Why did the calendar make out a will?

Because its days were numbered.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Young lovers are up at make out point having the time of their lives when a cop bangs on the car and stops them in the act.

What the hell are you two doing up here at this time of the night? he growls.
It's ok officer.. we are getting married tomorrow, the young lad declares.
Oh I am so sorry to have disturbed you the cop exclaims.
Being your last time having sex and all.

What shoes do they make out of banana skins?

Slippers.

I'm trying to make out with my gf tonight without sucess. Any activity subjection?

Not movies.

My wife told me to do some light reading at the end of a long day. It was horrible, and now my eyes hurt.

The only thing I was able to make out was "60 watts - made in China"

My wife suggested that I do a little light reading to help me relax

I feel worse than before. My eyes hurt, I have a headache and I only managed to make out the words 'Made in Taiwan 100W".

Healthcare joke

TRUE STORY.
I work in the Infection control department of a hospital when I received a phone call from the OR:
Staff member: We have a patient coming in who tested positive for Eptein Bar. Do they need any isolation precautions because we have a pregnant staff member.
Me: Well, how is Epste...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A young couple is hooking up.

They decide to go to her place. Then they started kissing and making out. Then they pull off one piece of cloth after the another until the young man stops.

Him: "I must confess sonething!"

Her: "What is it?"

Him: "I have a penis like an infant."

Her: "Oh dear! Size does...

I think I need glasses

I was at the store picking out a desk calendar for next year but I couldn't make out a thing printed on them. I guess I don't have 20/20 vision

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