Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

.......uhhhh.... I can’t remember.

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so ...

Did you hear about the dumb cowboy that got a dachshund?

Someone told him “get along little doggie.”

Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

A pregnant lady at the doctors.

Doctor: "Do you wish that the the baby's father be present at the birth?"

Patient: "I prefer not.

Doctor: Oh Why is that?

Patient: He doesn't get along with my husband."

Irish Cow Joke

There is an old dirt farm family who have nothing of value in this world but their milk cow. Now this was z good milk cow, which gave good high quality milk which they were able to sell and get along, so the family was actually very content. Well one day the father gets up early to milk the cow, as ...

When two people don't get along, they have a "beef"

But if they were vegetarian, do they Squash it?

I don’t understand why people don’t seem to get along with vegetarians.

I have never had a beef with one.

"Why is it important for engineers and architects to get along?"

I was asked this by an engineer I was driving to a conference center from the airport.

"I don't know, why?"

"Well, you see, if all the buildings in the World were built only by architects, they would all collapse under their own weight."

This elicited some chuckles from his coll...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My british friend tried joining the ultimate frisbee team....

but he didn't get along with anyone cause he thought they were all tossers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to the local strip club.

Got a lap dance from a stripper named Cinderella. I thought it was a odd stripper name but then it made sense. Her Dad wasn't around, didn't get along with stepmom, and wore see through shoes.

A man sits in his car

A man sits in his car at a gas station. He has just refilled his gas and payed. When he is about to leave, he sees a blonde lady standing to the other side of the road. He pulls down his window, as the lady is waking towards his car. He handsome! The lady says. Can I catch a ride home? Sure, get in!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This young guy in prison is sitting on his bunk crying. (long)

This young guy in prison is sitting on his bunk crying. One of the older inmates known around the clink as Big Hank comes over and sits down on the bunk beside.

“What’s the matter, buddy?” the old inmate asked.

“I really screwed up,” sobbed the young man. “I’m going to be in this hel...

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