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Deep Down Jokes

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...

Why when a lawyer dies, they bury them 12 feet in the ground?

Because deep deep down, lawyers are good people.

Deep down...

...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.

You may be a really good person deep down inside

But I dont carry a shovel

I quit my position as a scuba diving instructor the first day at my job.

Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.

Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he’s just depressed.

He’s trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.

Dear redditors, I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."r&...

Why is Russia planning to have Vladimir Putin buried 100 feet deep?

Because they all know that deep down he is a very good leader.

After my fourth failed relationship, my friend tells me 'keep your head up, these girls come and go, but you'll find someone for you', but deep down i know...

Girls don't just come and go... I do.

Two men are walking through the forest when they stumble upon a large sinkhole.

Guy says, "Woah! This thing looks deep; how deep down do you think it goes?" The two men search around for a long stick or branch to assess the depth, but find nothing of use. They continue their search and they stumble across an old, rusty anvil; and naturally, they haul the anvil over and toss it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church.....

They all look at you with disgust, but deep down, you know they want some, too.

Special Hand Job

Getting a hand job from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...

You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...

Just took a quiz to find out what my spirit Halloween monster is ...

... apparently, deep down inside I'm a skeleton.

A joke about Germans - I´m German and i was rolling on the floor laughing about it

Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground?

A: Because deep down they are really nice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my Uncle tells. Makes me laugh every time..

Somewhere deep down south a man dials 9-1-1..

Operator: “Emergency services. Is there a problem?”

Man: “Hi, uhh ya. I jus’ came home and I foun’ my wife lyin’ dead on tha floor.”

Operator: “I am so sorry to hear that sir. How would you like us to assist you?”

Man: “Yea, u...

I’m stone faced.

I may not show it all the time but deep down


...in my shoe...


my sock is sliding off my foot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 friends want to work in the local mine...

They are totally inexperienced, but the money offered is good and they figure they can bluff their way in.

All 3 of them show up on the day of the interview and the first one is called into the boss' office.

Boss: So, do you have any mine working experience?

Friend 1: Sure, yeah...

One Bill Gates' divorce

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams. On the Sur...

Redditors are like eggs

They come in many different colours and sizes, but deep down they all have the same yolks.

Lots of Hecklers About

But deep, deep down, beneath all of the hatred and scumbaggery and vitriol, I know. In fact, I’m absolutely certain, that some of them just have to look up the word vitriol.

Why do blonds have schools underwater.

Because deep down, they're not so stupid.

Need some help creating fake certifications

Apologies if this isn't a good sub to post a request like this. Happy to pull it down.

My coworker has been taking a lot of short online certification courses. Every day he finishes a new course, prints out the certificate of completion and proudly hangs the certificate up on his wall. He's ...

One thing kids like is to be tricked.

For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.

"Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.

I started to drive over ...

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