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What is the area at the Danish/German border called?

The DaneGer zone!

I'll show myself out.

What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?

The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

I have very nearly signed up for Danish language classes

I just need to dot the A's and cross the O's

Trump visiting a psychiatric hospital.

While visiting Trump asks how to determine if one has a psychiatric problem.

There is a test, says the doctor. They fill a bathtub with water and gives the patient a spoon, a cup and a bucket and asks the patient to empty the tub.

Trump then asks: "Wouldn't the normally sane persons no...

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Danish, French and Italian women ...

A Danish guy, a Frenchman and an Italian man got together in a bar in Berlin after attending the long and boring business conference. Their talk drifted to the subject of women, of course, with each man claiming that the women in their home country were the sexiest and most sensual.

"If we we...

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A Danish man entered the international cow milking competition

The man was considered a legend in Denmark and it was said that he could get any cow to produce 20 litres of milk at a time. The people of his country, including his wife and children, were sure that the Danish man would win the competition.

The American first went up on stage — the crowd ch...

If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.

Norway I'd make this up!

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

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A danish artist painted pictures of naked women with his penis.

An interested buyer visits his gallery and asks:
"how can u paint those gentle round curves with your penis"
"It wasn't too hard"

got that from the late late show with craig ferguson.

It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish

Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.

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Attempt to remember and retell an old Danish joke

In the middle of the night, a man wakes up in a prostitutes bed after a wonderful evening with her. Thinking back he still marvels at the beautiful artwork the woman's pubic hairs had been turned into. Then suddenly he notices that his wallet has been moved, and on inspection he finds that a 500 bil...

In today’s European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn’t seem to have an issue at all.

Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.

A guy starts working at a bakery

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

What do the Danish do when confronted with consequences?

Cope and Häagen-Dazs

What’s the difference between a newlywed Danish couple and Batman’s parents?

One couple are Wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.

How would the world look if it were ruled by the Danish?

It would be a Pastryarchal Society

Nailed it.

A Swedish guy was building a house. After having completed the foundation he went on to the walls. And while putting in the nails, he realised that holding the planks while nailing them would be easier if he had help. So he walked over to his new neighbour; a Danish guy. His neighbour agreed to help...

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Some of the biggest red flags I can think of are Danish, Chinese, Spainish, Turkish, or Albanian

And to a lesser extent, Canadian, Indonesean, Hatian, American, and Japanese

Why do Danish ships have bar codes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

What's Hannibal Lecter's favourite dessert?

A Danish

‪I once ate a Danish pastry.

She’s an air hostess..‬

Three guys on the airplane, on their way home

I translated this joke from danish, hope you like it

So three guys were on the airplane, on their way home from vacation.
Suddenly one of the guys begins throwing knives out the window.
The others ask: “Why are you throwing knives out the window?”
He answers: “Because i have so many ...

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar.

One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....



The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

Did you hear about the guys who built fake chickens and sold them on the Danish market?

They really made a kylling

A guy is relaxing at his home in Copenhagen when he hears a knock on the door. He opens up and it's Hamlet.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Sorry to bother you," says Hamlet, "but I need a place to crash for a few days, do you mind if I stay here?"

Guy scratches his head and says "Well, I guess you can, this is pretty out of the blue though."

"I know," says Hamlet, " Nobody exp...

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What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.


^^They're ^^also ^^both ^^in ^^a ^^barrel ^^in ^^my ^^garage.

My danish friend pranked me by giving me laxative cookies

I never thought he'd stroop so low

What do you call a dog that's part great dane?

Great danish

What’s a cannibals favorite dessert?

A danish...

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I started dating this danish woman and this is what happened...

I started dating this danish woman and posted a picture of us on Instagram. (I captioned it chillin with my new bae). Shortly after she saw this, she broke up with me. Turns out bae means poop in danish?!

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A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire.  The traveler at once called room service.  "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

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A guy dies and is sent to Hell.

Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one room to spend eternity in.

In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks, The guy says, "No, let me see the next room."

In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. T...

What do you call a Danish Sniper?

A Denmarksmen

Arent a donut and a danish the same thing?

Well they are both synonym rolls!!

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A partisan joke for election day

Jacob, Jonah, and John aren't getting along very well in Heaven, and one day God gets tired of it and kicks them out. "I'm sick of you guys bickering. You don't appreciate the gifts I gave you. I want you guys to do something amazing. Work together and do something for the record books! As soon...

Why did the cannibal go to Copenhagen?

He wanted to eat some Danish.

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How do you know your sister is having her period? (Sick danish humor) NSFW

When your fathers dick taste like blood.

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Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin.

Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

How do you say "prison lingo" in one word?

Danish

Q:What makes fish jumpy?

A: Spring water

(Transmogrified Danish joke)

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