What is the area at the Danish/German border called?

The DaneGer zone!

I'll show myself out.

I had to throw out all of my danish currency

I didn't wanna catch the Kronervirus

What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?

The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

Did you know that Danish boats are given barcodes when they leave ports?

So when they come back, they can Scan-di-navy-in

Why do Danish ships have bar codes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

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Danish, French and Italian women ...

A Danish guy, a Frenchman and an Italian man got together in a bar in Berlin after attending the long and boring business conference. Their talk drifted to the subject of women, of course, with each man claiming that the women in their home country were the sexiest and most sensual.

"If we we...

What do you call a dog that's part great dane?

Great danish

Nailed it.

A Swedish guy was building a house. After having completed the foundation he went on to the walls. And while putting in the nails, he realised that holding the planks while nailing them would be easier if he had help. So he walked over to his new neighbour; a Danish guy. His neighbour agreed to help...

Trump visiting a psychiatric hospital.

While visiting Trump asks how to determine if one has a psychiatric problem.

There is a test, says the doctor. They fill a bathtub with water and gives the patient a spoon, a cup and a bucket and asks the patient to empty the tub.

Trump then asks: "Wouldn't the normally sane persons no...

If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.

Norway I'd make this up!

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A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire.  The traveler at once called room service.  "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

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A danish artist painted pictures of naked women with his penis.

An interested buyer visits his gallery and asks:
"how can u paint those gentle round curves with your penis"
"It wasn't too hard"

got that from the late late show with craig ferguson.

‪I once ate a Danish pastry.

She’s an air hostess..‬

It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish

Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.

How would the world look if it were ruled by the Danish?

It would be a Pastryarchal Society

What’s the difference between a newlywed Danish couple and Batman’s parents?

One couple are Wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.

What's the difference between a Danish married couple and Batman's parents?

One is a pair of wed Danes, and the other is a pair of dead Wanes.


(Sorry if this is a repost but I got this from a friend over text. So thanks for the joke u/Bag_of_cheese)

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

Did you hear about the guys who built fake chickens and sold them on the Danish market?

They really made a kylling

My danish friend pranked me by giving me laxative cookies

I never thought he'd stroop so low

What’s a cannibals favorite dessert?

A danish...

A guy is relaxing at his home in Copenhagen when he hears a knock on the door. He opens up and it's Hamlet.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Sorry to bother you," says Hamlet, "but I need a place to crash for a few days, do you mind if I stay here?"

Guy scratches his head and says "Well, I guess you can, this is pretty out of the blue though."

"I know," says Hamlet, " Nobody exp...

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar.

One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....



The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

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What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.


^^They're ^^also ^^both ^^in ^^a ^^barrel ^^in ^^my ^^garage.

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I started dating this danish woman and this is what happened...

I started dating this danish woman and posted a picture of us on Instagram. (I captioned it chillin with my new bae). Shortly after she saw this, she broke up with me. Turns out bae means poop in danish?!

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There is a danish guy, a icelandic guy and a german guy.

They are all very patriotic. One day, out of pure love for their country, they each make a meme related to their country. The danish guy makes a stepping on lego meme, the icelandic guy makes a we are number one meme and the german guy makes a nazi meme. Since they all made the memes because they lo...

Arent a donut and a danish the same thing?

Well they are both synonym rolls!!

A guy dies and is sent to Hell

A guy dies and is sent to Hell.
Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing on their heads with spiders and insects crawling all over them.
The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the sec...

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A partisan joke for election day

Jacob, Jonah, and John aren't getting along very well in Heaven, and one day God gets tired of it and kicks them out. "I'm sick of you guys bickering. You don't appreciate the gifts I gave you. I want you guys to do something amazing. Work together and do something for the record books! As soon...

Why did the cannibal go to Copenhagen?

He wanted to eat some Danish.

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What's the difference between a Bud Light and a vagina?

The vagina only tastes like piss in the beginning.

----------------------------------------------
Translated from danish, where [Royal](http://i.imgur.com/6SvvADP.jpg) is used instead of Bud Light.

Q:What makes fish jumpy?

A: Spring water

(Transmogrified Danish joke)

How do you say "prison lingo" in one word?

Danish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin.

Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

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How do you know your sister is having her period? (Sick danish humor) NSFW

When your fathers dick taste like blood.

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