Translating a Bulgarian joke

Vegans have been screwing us over from the very beginning. If Eve had eaten the snake and not the fruit we wouldn't be in this mess.

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A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating…

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry."

The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"
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The Bulgarian Train Conductor

Most kids want to become a firefighter or astronaut when they’re older. This man, however, really wanted to become a train conductor. Unfortunately, he gets the job and he loves it. But one particular day, he’s enjoying his job a little too much. He’s driving too fast and accidentally derails the tr...

A Bulgarian, an Arabian and a Hollander are sitting in a bar.

First, the Bulgarian drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, grabs his pistol and shoots it in pieces.

"In Bulgaria, glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice."

Next, the Arabian drinks his strong liquor, throws his glass in the air, grabs his A...

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

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A Bulgarian spy is caught by the Russian KGB.

They ask him what were the procedures of the Bulgarian agency. They torture him for two weeks but he tells them nothing. On a spy exchange he returns home and his comrades ask him what happened. He said "You'd better start learning the procedures or they'll beat the shit out of you!"

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

A man with hearing problems crashed his car into an expensive car,

The owner of the expensive car walks out of his house and says “give me 10.000 dollars or I’ll beat the hell out of you!!” The man replies “Woah woah buddy I don’t have that much, but let me call my son he trains dolphins”. The man calls his son and right as he was about to talk the owner of the exp...

So there was a man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid...

Since we're on Bulgarian jokes - here's one about bananas:

There was this guy sitting on a bench in the park and opposite him there sat an old man with a bag of bananas. He takes one banana out, he peels the banana, he seasons it with salt, and he throws it away.

The guy wonders: "Why is this old man taking one banana out of his bag, peels the banan...

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A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

A group of people from different nationalities found themselves stranded on a remote and beautiful island. The party consisted of:

-Two Italian men and one Italian woman

-Two French men and one French woman

-Two German men and one German woman

-Two Greek men and one Greek...

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So how about a real joke about Bulgarians for a change?

A flying saucer beams up a German engineer, an Indian guru and a Bulgarian. The three of them are informed by an alien in a lab coat that standard procedure when contacting an unfamiliar species is to subject them to the standardized intergalactic intelligence test.

"You will be put in an air...

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Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgaria...

A Bulgarian goes to the doctor

A Bulgarian goes to the doctor for a checkup. He enters the room, hangs his coat and sits infront of the doctor.

-When was the last time you had an examination made by a doctor? -asked the doctor.

-I don't know. Maybe 20 years ago.

-Do you drink?

-Yes. I drink beer for ki...

What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses vulgar language?

A Bulgarity.

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I was at a party last night and got talking to a leading expert in the use of drugs in Sport.

He told me about a female Bulgarian athlete who had used so much steroids in the 70’s that she started to grow the beginnings of a penis.

“Anabolics?” I asked. “No” he said, “Just a penis”.

A Frenchman, an Italian and a Bulgarian were on a trans-continental flight over Europe.

"Aha!" exclaims the Frenchman. "We're over my homeland of France right now!" The other two asked him how he knows - "If you do some simple math it's easy to figure out."

A while passes "Aha!" exclaims Italian "NOW we're approaching my hometown." When asked how he knows he says "I know those m...

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A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:

"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo."
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"
...

Satan Visits Three Men on a Boat

Note: This works with any race or ethnic background, but I will tell it as I first heard it.



There are three men on a boat. A Macedonian, a Bulgarian, and an Albanian. Mr. Satan shows up and tells them that he will kill them if they can't throw something he can't find into the ocean....

A Buddhist monk turns to the Dalai Lama for an answer.

A Buddhist monk was pondering what is the difference between a woman and a pearl, but couldn't figure it out. He gave up and decided to ask the Dalai Lama.

"Hmm, interensting question, young grasshopper - said the Dalai Lama. I do not know, but if you give me three days to meditate on this, ...

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