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Scandinavia Jokes

What's the top car brand in Scandinavia?

Fjord

Does anyone here know any men from Scandinavia?

(I’m asking for a Svend.)

How do you know you've reached the end of Scandinavia?

Because of the Finnish!

How do they contact the dead in Scandinavia?

With a Norwegia-board





I'll see myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a motorcycle club comprised entirely of bisexual monarchs from Scandinavia?

The Bikings.

Did you know Mortal Kombat was actually based on an old Scandinavian worship song?

A Finnish Hymn.

If you can't become a citizen of Scandinavia through the naturalization process, what could you do?

You use artificial Sweden-er!

A man trying to emigrate to Scandinavia found the process too daunting to complete.

He was never Finnished.

Do you know why the researchers have to take a ship to explore the Arctic circle?

Because there's Norway beyond Scandinavia!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Sami temperature scale

(ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland)

+10°C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers.

+5°C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami

+2°C: Italian cars won't...

The hare and the tortoise

The hare and the tortoise were having a rematch. This time, they decided to race through Europe, starting with London. The plan was to race to Dover, get the ferry across, and go along the French coast, across Belgium, Germany, and head north through Denmark.

The hare figured that his fur wo...

Captain John McGrue was one of the most respected explorers

Born in England, he became known for his seafaring skills at a young age. At the age of 20, he heard the legends of the greatest drinks in the world, a quest many explorers had tried, but unfortunately none could complete the trip. McGrue was talked out of it by every friend, until at 28, already an...

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