UPJOKE
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A Lithuanian couple in a hotel

A Lithuanian couple go to a hotel in USA. They spot a mouse in the room.

"A mouse! Dear, call the lobby, you know at least some English, right?!"

The man picks up the phone.

"Helou."

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, dū jū nau Tom and Džeri?"

"Yes sir, of course."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

diverse joke

>An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutane...

An old Lithuanian joke (roughly translated)

Two men of which one had a really bad stutter decided to climb mount everest. They set up at the bottom, waved to everyone who came to wish them luck and started climbing... Around 8 hours of exhausting climbing later the one with the stutter goes "I-I-I f-f-f-f" the other one cuts him off and goes ...

How many Lithuanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, unless their arms got ripped off in some sort of horrifying accident, in which case it still only takes one, just a different one.

An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar

The bartender says
"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It pisses me off when Lithuanians get confused for Russians..

But if I was Russian, my name would be U. Fakov

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Politically Correct joke

It's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Dutch, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Chinese, a Jap, a Pakistani, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Portugese, a Rus...

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You are never too old to learn something new

You are never too old to learn something new...

I LOVE YOU IN 10 LANGUAGES

English

I Love You

Spanish

Te Amo

French

Je T'aime

German

Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese

Ai Shite Imasu

Italian

Ti Amo

Chinese

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old jokes about Russians ..from Soviet times... from Lithuania.

Few Days after Jurij Gagarin went to space and was the first human who ever made it into space, in a small village a man is visiting his neighbour.

"Jonai ! Did you read that ? The Russians now went into Space!"

his neighbour got big eyes, happiness came over his face and he asked bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an Irishman,...

a Scotsman,a welshman, a Frenchman, a German, an Italian, a Swede, two Finns, a Norwegian, a Dane, a Greenlander, an Austrian, a Hungarian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Latvian, an Estonian, a Russian, a Turk, an Egyptian, a Palestinian, an Israeli, a Greek, a Macedonian, a Chinese guy, a Japanese guy,a ...

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