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Slovak Jokes

I translated this one from slovak hopefully it still works. I love the joke.

Three men die and Saint Peter asks them how they died.

First one starts: I came home to my apartment and I heard noises. There must have been a robber. I didn't find anyone, but as I looked from the window, I saw him, escaping on the side of the building using ropes, so I cut them and he fall...

What did the Slovak chess player say when he won the match?

Czech-mate.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house.

Turns out she was a Slovak.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament...

This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I translated a Slovak joke

In a certain village lived a widow with her 15 year old daughter and 9 year old son. One day, the daughter asks her mother if she can go out and visit her friend. The mother let her go, but since she was very paranoid and wanted her daughter to remain a virgin until she got married, she sent her lit...

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Politically Correct joke

It's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Dutch, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Chinese, a Jap, a Pakistani, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Portugese, a Rus...

A Czech joke translation

Since we're all translating jokes, this is one I heard when I lived in Prague. FYI, it was a big hit when I told it in Sweden using Norway as the other country.

So an incredibly nefarious criminal escapes from prison in the Czech Republic. Rumor is he went across the border to Slovakia. So th...

Why did Slovakia move to digital banking?

because they ran out of Czechs

Cannibal Restaurant

Two patrons are sitting one table apart from each other in a Cannibal Restaurant. The waiter comes in and addresses them both:

"Would you both be willing to share a meal? It's around closing time and we're not slated to received anything more until early tomorrow morning. All we have left i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman..........

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan...

Banana juice

My Slovak girlfriend told me this today. I think it's an old one where she come from:

A farmer is riding his horse and cart through his village while carrying a large metal flask. A policeman sees this and stops him. "What's in the flask?" he asks suspiciously. "Is it alcohol? You know it's f...

An American lawyer invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him in his mountain cabin.

Early in the morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they were picking blueberries, along came two big Bears - a male and a female.
The lawyer, seeing the two bears, climbed a tree.

His friend wasn't so lucky and the male ...

My new girl friend.

Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak.

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