I’ve been working on a Scandinavian joke.

It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now there’s just Norway.

Where did mr Anderson go? Did he travel with Scandinavian Airlines?

No, he vanished into Finnair

Met a depressed Scandinavian the other day.

He wished he'd never been Björn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Scandinavian porn director?

Pjorn.

Only Scandinavian Joke they will laugh at

What’s the difference between Norway and Sweden?



Sweden has a nice neighbor.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

How did the Scandinavian countries communicate during WW2?

Norse code

What do you call a Scandinavian who only eats plants?

A Nor-vegan!

A German, a Scandinavian, and a Leprechaun walk into a bar...

Nobody can really remember much of what happened after that.

How do you win a Scandinavian race?

By crossing the Finnish line!

How do you give a Scandinavian man "blue balls"?

You don't let him Finnish

A Scottish, fedora-wearing art professor complimented his Scandinavian student.

"Nice skies, Finnish lass!"

Norwegian Robot

If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it… Scandinavian

Some of my favorite Scandinavian UFF DA jokes

Ole and Lars were business partners and good friends. One day Lars started off for work and discovered he'd forgotten his tools. Returning home, he looked around for his wife, Lena, and finally found her in the bedroom. To his surprise, she was on the bed with no clothes on. "Vat in the vorld are yo...

What did the Scandinavian say at his Grandmothers funeral?

She was a Swede old lady but now shes Finnish

Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

A guy visits NYC for the first time and decides to go see Chinatown.

As he’s walking around, amongst all the Chinese shops he spots a bakery called “Hans Olufsen’s Bakery”. Feeling curious, he walks in. Inside he sees an all Chinese staff, with several Chinese pastries on display. Even more curious, he notices the guy who looks like the manager and talks to him:
<...

WW2 pilot recalls a morning patrol in front of son's school class

A grade school teacher, who was doing a unit on World War II heard that the father of one of her students had been a fighter pilot during the war with one of the Scandinavian Air Forces. She invited him to come in and speak to the class. The guy was more than happy to talk, and began with a story ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bisexual Scandinavian

A bi-king.

I know that was terrible.
Also I'm not being racist because i'm from Scandinavia.

Why do the Swedish have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So they can Scandinavian.

(Sorry, my personal favourite joke)

Why does the Norway Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian!

Edit: whoops I meant Norwegian Navy

Edit 2: Thanks to commenters I have links to other people who have posted this joke! I haven’t been around very long so I didn’t know, go give them an upvote as well if you’d like!

2015:...

Why do they have bar codes on the returning Swedish fleet?

So they can Scandinavian.

Why did Sweden start putting barcodes on their newest fleet of battleships?

So they could Scandinavian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men have to share a bed

They're on a ski trip together, and due to a clerical error there is only one room left in the lodge. There is only one large bed, and there are no cots.

So the three pile in and try to keep their distance.

The next morning they wake up, and the man sleeping on the left edge of the bed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian, an American, a Canadian, a Briton, a Welshman, a Norwegian, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Frenchman...

a South African, a Japenese, a New Zealander, a Papa New Guinean, an Irishman, an Italian, a Scandinavian, a German, an Austrian, an Arabian, a Syrian, a Hungarian, a Russian, an Indian and a Spaniard all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we can't serve you without a Thai."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/14)

Folks, folks. What a day! There are some good jokes out there to be had. Let's take a gander, shall we?

There's already some news out of the presidential election front...

Some are reporting Gov. Christie is losing weight just so he can make a run in 2016. Not to be outdone, Sen. Rubio...

Swedish Moose Joke Translated by Google

PS: Read with strong Scandinavian accent for best effect.

&nbsp;

There were two moose who were flying. Then it said one:

"You have a bun in your eye!"

"What?" Answered the other.

"You have a bun in the eye!"

"What?"

"You have a bun in your eye."...

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