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This is classic Czech joke, I hope I transladed it well for you to understand the point.

Plane crashes on the island inhabitated only by cannibals. Only survivors are Czech, Russian, and American guy. The leader of cannibals tells them ,, everyone of us will bring us some fruit from the forest, or we will eat you”. American return with bag of apples, cannibals say ,, we will shove this ...

Czech guy caught a gold fish

Czech guy caught a gold fish and was given three wishes in return for its life.

-What do you want?, asked the little fish

-I want China to occupy Czechia and then to return home.

-OK and what is your second wish?

-I want China to occupy this country again and then return ...

The Cechnyan mob kidnaps two Czechs, two Irishmen, two Englishmen, and two Americans.

A ransom note is sent to each respective countries' embassy, demanding the equivalent of $25 million,or they will kill the hostages.

After two weeks, they receive responses from each embassy.

The English, Irish, and American embassy all state that they do not negotiate with terrorist...

A Czech joke translation

Since we're all translating jokes, this is one I heard when I lived in Prague. FYI, it was a big hit when I told it in Sweden using Norway as the other country.

So an incredibly nefarious criminal escapes from prison in the Czech Republic. Rumor is he went across the border to Slovakia. So th...

A Czech diplomat in Washington D.C. is obliged to take his annual physical exam.

He goes to a local doctor for a battery of tests. At the eye exam, the doctor asks him, “So, can you read the bottom line, Mr. Kratochvil?”
“Read it? I dated her in school!”

Two cannibals walked into a restaurant in Prague

They asked for separate Czechs.

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diverse joke

>An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutane...

I’ve very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague…

My first Czech bounced.

What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?

.. a cancelled check ..

Another one translated to English, this time from Czech :)

A farmer went to the mall to do some shopping. He bought an anvil and a bucket in the hardware store.
In the animal store he bought a pair of chickens and a goose. But how to carry it all now?
The shopkeeper advised him: "Put the anvil in the bucket and carry that in one hand, put the goos...

Why do kids in the Czech Republic get twice as many Christmas presents?

Because Santa Clause made a list and he Czeched it twice.

The Czech at the optometrist

The optometrist shows him the usual table, you know the kind, with the C Z R N H K...

"Can you read this?"

"Read? This moocher still owes me 50 bucks!"

Why did the chess player download tinder in Prague?

He was looking for a Czech mate.

My skoda car is really good at chess...

It's czech mate

What genre of music do Czech bands play?

Prague Rock

I have a friend from Czechia

I guess I can say I have a Czech mate

My friend from Prague finally got his US citizenship approved

That makes him a cancelled Czech

One day long ago, a Czechoslovakian came to visit his friend in New York

When asked what he wanted to see the Czechoslovakian replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."

To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the zoo. While they were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallo...

Bohemia just announced its plans to secede from the Czech Republic.

Is this the real life?

What do you call a Czechoslovakian government made of tightropes and skateboards?

A system of Czechs and balances!

Feel free to tell your history teacher, they'll probably laugh.

what do they call a gigolo from Czechia?

A stimulus check

Did you hear about the place in western Czech Republic where they do hip-hop covers of Queen songs?

It's the Bohemian Rap City.

Being a musician is great for travelling and meeting new people. Throughout my career I have met amazing humans.

Once I met this Italian opera singer, amazing gal. Some other time an irish theremine player. But the other day I met a polish sound engineer. And a czech one too. And a czech one too. And a czech one too.

A rapper opened a burger joint in the Czech Republic

Now he boasts about how he makes fat Czechs.

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A Czech at the optometrist

He gets to look at the familiar board with the letters and is asked "Can you read this?"

"Read it? That bastard still owes me money!"

At a state dinner, both the King of the Czech lands and the King of France happened to witness a murder.

The next day, they held a joint conference to describe what they each had seen. As the King of France gave his recollection of the details of the murder, the audience gasped and clutched their handkerchiefs and at the end swooned in amazement. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness...

Czech Please

The abortion clinic in Prague had to be closed down due to lack of funds... too many cancelled Czechs apparently.

I will tell you joke about czech postal service.

But i dont know if you get it.

A Czech and a Pole go hiking

They wander upon two bears having relations. They try to run but the bears easily chase them down and eat them. A ranger hears the commotion and runs in and shoots the bears. Police arrive and they dissect the female bear and find the Pole. The ranger sighs and says, "Well, I guess the Czech is in t...

I meet a lot of people as a travelling sound engineer for concerts in Europe. I have a friend who's Ukrainian.

I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.

A lawyer and his friend from the Czech Republic were camping, when they heard a rustling sound.

They looked behind them and saw a huge male grizzly bear jumping out at them from behind a bush. The two friends fled for their lives, and the bear chased them.

The lawyer escaped, but his friend wasn't so lucky. The lawyer watched in horror as his friend was swiped by the bear's mighty paw a...

In today’s European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn’t seem to have an issue at all.

Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.

What do you call someone who is part Czech?

Czech Mix.

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Politically Correct joke

It's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Dutch, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Chinese, a Jap, a Pakistani, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Portugese, a Rus...

My son went to school in the Czech Republic just for the attractive women

He wanted to study a broad

What's a chess player's favorite country?

Czech Republic

I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer ...

... and a Czech one too.

Two men are playing chess in Australia

One guy asks "What's your ethnicity?"

As he knocks over the king, the other guy responds "Czech, mate"

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

First thing on my to-do list: Find a republic.

Czech.

How do you test if two Central Europeans can hear you?

Czech 1, Chez 2

Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum.

He was my Czech mate.

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What did the Slavic man say before he did a crazy stunt?

Czech this shit out

Czech and a Mexican

A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican ...

A huge bloke decked in full hunting gear and with an entire dead wildebeest over his shoulder made his way to Nairobi airport.

As he approached the desk the airline attendant noted the wildebeest carcass but more alarmingly noticed that the suitcase he was dragging was bulging sporadically and clearly contained something large and very much alive. Feeling slightly nervous but determined to do his job the attendant challeng...

You're probably Ghana think"no one will Bolivia. There's just Norway."

I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary... so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn't Czech the label and accidentally added ...

A Czech lady told me this joke...

Her: "What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?"

Me: "Trilingual."

Her: "What do you a person who speaks two languages?"

Me: "Bilingual"

Her: "What do you call a person who speaks one language?"

Me: ??????

Her: AMERICAN!

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

Czech mate.

A Czech man walks into his eye checkup.

Optician: "Please sit down, try to read the letters on the screen."

which were ' G S I R O N V C H Z I T'

Patient: "Uh doc..."

"Why is my name on the panel?"

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replie...

If God isn't real, how do you explain how an average joe like me could marry a beautiful woman from Prague?

Czech mate, atheists

What country does not accept cash or credit cards?

The Czech Republic

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A Jew and a Czech go hunting.

They reach a clearing in the woods and spot a deer. The Czech aims his rifle to shoot, when a bear attacks them from behind and eats the Czech. The Jew, scared shitless, runs back to town and tells everyone what happened. After some discussion, the worried townsfolk form a hunting party to deal with...

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A Jewish man and a Czechoslovakian man...

..were walking in a national forest. All of a sudden, a bear appeared and ate the Czechoslovakian man. The Jewish guy ran back to find someone to help. He found a Forest Ranger and told him what had happened. So the ranger took a gun and went back into the forest. There were two bears together. "Now...

A rabbit seeks for his hole in a Czech pub

Apparently all the holes are taken up

Guess what two cannibals did for dinner in Prague?

They split the Czech!

I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic

Czech mate

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

I once met a Redditor in Europe.

His username Czechs out.

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A Jew and a Czech go camping

While on the trip they are attacked by two bears, one male and one female. The Jew is able to escape; however, the Czech gets eaten by the male bear. Being a good Samaritan the Jew alerts the park ranger that there are two bears on the loose, one of which has eaten his friend. The park ranger then p...

A Czech and a lawyer go camping

Two friends, a Czech and a lawyer were on a vacation to Canada and decided they would go camping for a few days. so sure enough the first night they camped out two bears showed up. They were awakened by the rustling noises outside and got up to see what was out there. The bears became startled and o...

Czech Lawyer

A lawyer and his Czech friend were camping in a backwoods section of Montana. One morning, the two went out to pick berries for their breakfast. They went gathering berries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed ...

Prague just installed new Covid-19 testing stations.

They named them Czech points.

A Czech and a French decide to go hunting together.

They happen across two lions mating and slowly back away. Things don't go as planned, and the lions suddenly notice them, each going after a hunter. A park ranger nearby witnesses this act, and shoots both lions, but not before the lions have already devoured their meals. He cuts open the female lio...

Cannibal Restaurant

Two patrons are sitting one table apart from each other in a Cannibal Restaurant. The waiter comes in and addresses them both:

"Would you both be willing to share a meal? It's around closing time and we're not slated to received anything more until early tomorrow morning. All we have left i...

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A Czech joke for you. (I think it is at least, it was written on page categorised as that)

A Russian soldier unit is flying to Chechnya and the Captain motivates soldiers: "Men, for every Chechen head you will get a bottle of vodka." The plane lands, the door breaks down, the soldiers scatter. In a few minutes they return and everyone has brought a couple of heads. The captain is all pale...

I just had dinner at a Czechoslovakian restaurant…

They asked if I wanted desert and I was like “Czech, please.”

In honor of one of my late uncle’s best jokes:

A Czechoslovakian goes to the zoo and heads to the lion exhibit. He wants a closer look at the lions and before anyone could stop him, he was is their cage. He’s soon attacked and eaten by one of the lions.

A witness to this tragic event says to the zookeeper, “I saw the whole thing happen. ...

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A Czech one: God is carrying a bag of dicks...

...when he suddenly trips over a rock and all the dicks fall out. He gets pissed off: "I'm not going to pick them up, Prague's going to be here!"

I'm thinking about starting a dating service in Prague

I shall call it "Czech-Mate"

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Two Polish Rocket Scientists Announce to the World They're Going to the Sun in a Spaceship

The entire world wide scientific community swiftly points out that the Sun is too hot for such a journey and they'd quickly burn up to which they replied very smugly: "Ah SEE! We've thought of this and have a plan!.....We're going at NIGHT!"

I do not mean to offend anyone and my apologies to ...

A grandma asks her grandson if he'd like to go shopping with her.

The grandson responds "Not now, Grandma, I'm watching a soccer game!"


"Oh, really? Who's playing?"


"Czechs on Slovakia!"


"Against who?"

When I manage a troupe of Eastern European acrobats...

they're going to be called "Czechs and Balances", it's the only logical choice.

I traveled to London this year to take part in Europe's largest chess tournament and was destroyed in the first round by this European guy with an odd accent. I waited until the end of the game to ask him about where he was from and what kind of accent he had...

He responded: "Czech, mate!"

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My...

Where do people from Prague deposit their money?

Into their Czeching account

I’ve got a business...

What’s you business?

A trampoline company in Prague.

How’s it going?
It’s not great, the Czech’s keep bouncing...



What’s your business?

We repair elevators in high rise buildings.

How’s it going?
Meh, it’s up and down.


What’s your b...

What's the worst thing to do at a restaurant in Prague?

Split the Czech!

A Czechoslovakian and Soviet were hunting in the woods

It had been sometime since they were last seen and people were starting to worry about them. A week had passed and a search party was deployed.

The search wasn’t going well until one tracker found some bear scat with a handkerchief that was thought to belong to the Soviet hunter.

A f...

My friend told me that Bohemia is a beautiful place not many people visit.

He told me that I should go czech it out.

What did the girl say to the hot European?

Czech him out!

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What would Hitler’s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z’s?

Vibe Czech

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