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How the Germans bailed out Greece

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.



Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.



On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel...

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece .

The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single l...

What's good for Greece

is good for Uganda.

On his first day at a resort in Greece, George and his wife went down to the beach.

Later when he went back to his room to get something to drink, he found the chambermaid making their bed. He grabbed his cooler and was on his way back out when he stopped at the door and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?"

"Sure." she replied. "Let me finish the rest of the rooms first....

The Netherlands VS Greece (First impression )

So I moved to Netherlands some years ago and I'd like to share with you my experiences. Feel free to give me feedback in what you think.



So when I first grounded here, first think I did, I googled a super market and went to buy some cigarettes ( DO NOT SMOKE HERE, IT COSTS LIKE 10 EUR...

What is the capital of Greece?

About $1.35 USD

What did Zeus use to make the best fries ever?

Ancient Greece

I would make a joke about greece's debt but...

I dont think it'll pay off.

Do you know why Germany will send their most unwanted prisoners to Greece?

Because whenever they send something to Greece, they'll never get it back.

Triple Filter

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly: "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like y...

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear,

Do you think Greece would help?

I heard there are some fires near Greece

We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda

What’s the slipperiest country?

Greece!

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Two Priests decided to go to Greece on vacation

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach...

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel visits Greece. On her way through customs she gets stopped by an officer

'Nationality?' He asks

'German' she replies

'Occupation?'

'No, just visiting'

How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two:

Prophet.

Netherlands work ( personal experience )

So, English is not my first language, it's my third. I moved to Netherlands some time ago and I got my first job. Apparently people here are nice? And they also pay their taxes? Did you guys know that? Anyway, the manager of the factory I worked in approached me to say ''hello'' and introduce himsel...

Fun fact: the first french fries weren’t made in France

They were made in Greece

The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse.

You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.

Why wasn't there any McDonald's in the Roman Empire

There was too much Greece

What are the roads like in Greece?

Slippery.

What did Zeus pick as Mount Olympus’ national anthem?

Greeced Lightning.

What's the capital of Greece?

About 5 euros.

How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

With a crowbar.

Have you heard about the South African man who went to Greece and would only eat cheese?

He got Feta and Feta and Feta.

I thought about going island hopping in Greece. Then I changed my mind.

...just Kos.

An Englishman, a Russian and a Greek guy are on the same flight, sitting next to eachother

When they are flying over England, the Englishman says, "England is the best country, check out how well they handle this." he drops a sword out of the window.

When they are flying over Russia, the Russian says, "Mother Russia is the best country, look how efficiently we deal with this." he ...

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.

The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"

The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

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Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

Why doesn’t Greece have executions with guns anymore?

Because bullets cost money.

Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions?

How irrational.

Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece?

That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.

What comes out of bacon in Mediterranean?

Greece.

Have you heard the movie that they’re making about fast food?

It’s getting filmed in Greece.

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

What is this the difference between America and Greece?

15 years.

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My wife told me: Sex is better on holiday.

I wasn't expecting that on the postcard she sent me from Greece.

What's the capital of Greece? (x-post from /r/MeanJokes)

About €10.

DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person.

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A Greek, A German and An Italian get stranded after a plane crash.

They wander for days until finally they see something in the distance. They approach and are found by some local tribesmen and are accused of trespassing their village. Immediately they are led in front of the local leader:

"I am in a good mood so I will let you go if you participate in a sma...

There are many marbleous statues in Greece

...but sadly many people take them for granite.

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004

Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

What does Dwight Schrute have in common with Greece

A bunch of dead beets.

I found out my vacation to Greece is tax deductible

Apparently it falls under charity work

People in Athens always have difficulty waking up

Dawn is tough on Greece.

(coworkers joke heard today)

The German chancellor is traveling to greece

She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says "nationality?"
The chancelor says "German"
Officer: occupation?
Chancelor: no not this time.

Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.

You look stupid and you get nothing out of it.

I met Greece's finance minister, who was looking for help regarding the situation there.

He asked me for my two cents.

I wonder if, in Ancient Greece,

Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.

Living in Greece..

Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.

You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!

Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Going to Greece on holiday

So I was planning on going to Greece on holiday this summer, I call the hotel to make a reservation, the guy says it's a nice hotel, close to the beach, a nice swimming pool and that it's going to be 3000 Euros. I tell them that's a bit too much for my budget and they said I can rent it for 60 Euros...

Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month.

She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro.

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How I got be 98

A journalist crew comes to this 98 year old's house for an interview:

- So, tell us your secret?

- Well, one time while on holiday in Greece I got so wasted that I took this Italian guy behind the bar and gave him a blow job.

- And that's how you got to live to 98 years??? ...

Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth?

[1 Mark]

What's the difference between NATO and the bottom of my fridge?

NATO has more than just Turkey and Greece

Why is EU like a frying pan?

Because Greece is stuck at the bottom

Shocking

Did you know in Greece they electrocute their yogurt

Yeah it was quite a cultural shock

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Before the invention of lube, Greeks used olive oil to have anal sex.

I guess you might say the people of ancient Greece loved that ancient grease.

I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece...

...and couldn't get a single gyro.

What is the preferred rock and roll band in Greece ?

Megadebt !

There was a question about Greece's economy in a German maths exam. What was it worth?

Two marks.

Why did Rome Fall?

Because it slipped on some Greece.

A friend told me she is going on holiday to Athens. I told her not to take any cilit bang as its prohibited.

Her: why

Me: because its tough on Greece

Why don’t Macedonians like pizza?

Too much Greece.

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