This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How the Germans bailed out Greece

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

​

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

​

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, ...

What is the Capital of Greece?

About 5 Euros.

I would make a joke about greece's debt but...

I dont think it'll pay off.

It's been said that Greece's greatest contributions to European society were the inventions of democracy and sodomy.

France is then generally given credit for slightly improving both of these ideas, by discovering that you could also involve women.

WW3 breaks out and Russia tries to take Turkey from the rear

Does Greece help them get in?

A man in Ancient Greece tears a pair of his favorite tunics...

He brings them into the local tailor and sets them on the counter. The tailor looks at the tunics, then looks at the man, and says "Hey, Euripides?" The man looks at the tunics, then at the tailor, and says "Yeah, Eumenides?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Catholic girl is set to marry a man from Greece...

The night before the wedding, the girl’s mother takes her aside and warns her about the reputation Greek men have:

“Now you listen to me, Sunshine- those Greeks like their sex... *a certain way*, if you catch my drift. If he ever tells you to flip over so he can have you another way, I want ...

Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Because it has Greece at the bottom.

The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse.

You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

So there was this forest fire in Greece recently.

I guess you can also call it a Greece fire.

Why doesn’t Greece have executions with guns anymore?

Because bullets cost money.

What is Greece's most popular sport?

Tax Evasion

Socrates the philosopher . . .

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a mo...

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece .

The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single l...

Two Priests decided to go to Greece on vacation

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach...

Where was the first chicken fried?

In Greece.

True Story of Joke Told at Ft Benning, GA

In class 92-1 of Infantry Officer Basic course we were in a large lecture hall in building 4 at Ft. Benning, GA. Desert Storm had just finished less than a year previously and we were one of the first classes of new infantry officers to get a look at all the cool intelligence from Iraq. We were th...

In ancient Greece, how did one separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar.

Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions?

How irrational.

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.

The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"

The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A male dumb blond joke.

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!" The...

What is the capital of Greece?

$20

(A friend told me this a few days ago).

Athenians hate mornings.

Because Dawn is tough on Greece.

What do you do with a country that has a lot of fiction?

Call it Greece.

Did you know that the first French fry wasn’t actually cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece?

That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.

What's the capital of Greece? (x-post from /r/MeanJokes)

About €10.

DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person.

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

I found out my vacation to Greece is tax deductible

Apparently it falls under charity work

What is this the difference between America and Greece?

15 years.

What does Dwight Schrute have in common with Greece

A bunch of dead beets.

Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004

Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.

I met Greece's finance minister, who was looking for help regarding the situation there.

He asked me for my two cents.

Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth?

[1 Mark]

Living in Greece..

Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.

You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!

Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Going to Greece on holiday

So I was planning on going to Greece on holiday this summer, I call the hotel to make a reservation, the guy says it's a nice hotel, close to the beach, a nice swimming pool and that it's going to be 3000 Euros. I tell them that's a bit too much for my budget and they said I can rent it for 60 Euros...

The German chancellor is traveling to greece

She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says "nationality?"
The chancelor says "German"
Officer: occupation?
Chancelor: no not this time.

I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece...

...and couldn't get a single gyro.

Why did Rome Fall?

Because it slipped on some Greece.

There was once a marathon runner who had become quite famous and won many awards for his records.

He was so well liked that eventually he became the president of Iran. During his tenure he managed to take over multiple countries including Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Georgia, Iraq and Syria. They were all assimilated and became a part of Iran. The only country he didn’t manage to take ...

Some people say that Kosovo isn’t a country because it doesn’t have a self-sustainable economy

But then neither does Greece

Eu in a nutshell

"I am hungary"

"Maybe you should czech the fridge."

"I am russian to the kitchen."

"Is there any turkey?"

"We have some, but its covered in Greece"

"Ew,there's norway I'd eat that!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Short summaries of our favourite movies:

A little green guy convinces a young man to kill his father ("Star Wars")

A group of people returns a lost jewel in 9 hours ("The Lord of the Rings")

The newly-started young artist's career goes to the bottom ("Titanic")

White skinhead forces black people to kill dwarfs ("The Ho...

Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.

You look stupid and you get nothing out of it.

So my dad told this joke the other day...

Why is it so hard to put out the fires in Athens?



...because it's a Greece fire.

How do you burn an entire country to the ground?

Keep putting water on a Greece fire.

 

*Too soon?*

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A 20 year old man visited his 100 year old grandmother

The 20 year old asked what was her secret to living so long.
His grandmother replied, "I will tell you if you do one thing for me, tell me how grains of sand on every beach in the entire world!"
The 20 year old planning to travel the world took this challenge and set off counting every grain ...

Why did Hippocrates have such bad acne?

Because he showered in greece

After years of empty promises about "buckling down and flying right,"...

.. Greece has finally set the place on fire for the insurance money.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Alerts to threats in Europe

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 194...

Punchline not included.

Timmy : I'm Hungary.

Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck !

Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy : I know, I gu...

What do you call a Greek mechanic?

a Greece monkey.

I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.

The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

What's the most slippery country?

Greece. 😂


I'll see myself out.

So, I was at the UN headquarters...

So, I was at the UN headquarters and I was feeling a bit Hungary, so I was Russian to the kitchen to get a slice of Turkey, but it was covered in Greece. There's Norway I'm eating that, so I got some Chile instead. Something just Francy enough for me.

The euro is being re-printed

on greece proof paper

What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?

The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.

I feel like I've eaten three countries!

...namely Turkey, Chile and Greece.