Greece Jokes

The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single l... read more

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach... read more

Because whenever they send something to Greece, they'll never get it back.

About 5 euros.

Greek Squad

When he takes his coat off he notices she doesn't have any. "We need to go buy you a coat granny."

"You don't need a coat in Greece, dear."

He takes his shoes off and notices she also doesn't have any wellies. "We need to get you some wellies granny."

"You don't need wellies in ... read more

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile, and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like the USA. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, r... read more

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence... read more

About $1.35 USD

That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

Later when he went back to his room to get something to drink, he found the chambermaid making their bed. He grabbed his cooler and was on his way back out when he stopped at the door and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?"

"Sure." she replied. "Let me finish the rest of the rooms first.... read more

Slippery.

Amirite.

Maria and Nico were young, in love, and engaged to be married. On the night before they were to be wed, Maria’s mother sat her down to have “The Talk”. Knowing Nico’s Greek heritage, she counseled her daughter:

“Maria, mia bella figlia, if Nico ever asks you to turn over, you must say NO! Nic... read more

You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.

Prophet.

Hushed silence turned into a roar of  laughter, when the quick-witted Diplomat  announced:


"Gentlemen ! 

You have just witnessed 4 major international events happening :-


Fall of Turkey

Breakup of China

Spillage of Greece 

 and

Frustration of ... read more

The tailor takes the pants and holds them up. He turns to the man and says “Euripides?”

“Yes,” the man responds, “Eumenides?”"

Because bullets cost money.

Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.

You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!

So I was planning on going to Greece on holiday this summer, I call the hotel to make a reservation, the guy says it's a nice hotel, close to the beach, a nice swimming pool and that it's going to be 3000 Euros. I tell them that's a bit too much for my budget and they said I can rent it for 60 Euros... read more

It’s a total zombie Acropolis.

Apparently you can’t extinguish a Greece fire with water.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"


"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It... read more

...but sadly many people take them for granite.

They were cooked in Greece.

So I moved to Netherlands some years ago and I'd like to share with you my experiences. Feel free to give me feedback in what you think.



So when I first grounded here, first think I did, I googled a super market and went to buy some cigarettes ( DO NOT SMOKE HERE, IT COSTS LIKE 10 EUR... read more

They were looking for weapons of math destruction.




I'll see myself out.

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says "nationality?"
The chancelor says "German"
Officer: occupation?
Chancelor: no not this time.

15 years.

With a crowbar.

In Greece.

Because Dawn is tough on Greece.

About €10.

DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person.

Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.

He got Feta and Feta and Feta.

Mechanicles

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Because it slipped on some Greece.

You look stupid and you get nothing out of it.

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the... read more

It was from ancient Greece.

Would Greece help?

A bunch of dead beets.

After all, you're not supposed to put water on a Greece fire.

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

Ancient Greece

Apparently it falls under charity work

She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro.

Greece’s Pieces

...and couldn't get a single gyro.

He asked me for my two cents.

yeah they’re made in greece!

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

Two marks.

Greece!

(courtesy of my ten year old)

There was too much Greece

I thought I Kuwait but then I Saudi Turkey, Iraq of ribs and a Canada best sauce and my Bahrain was like Oman, I Israel Hungary... so Iran to the kitchen to put Greece in the pan.

I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn't Czech the label and accidentally added ... read more

Apparently nobody told the firefighters that you can't use water to put out a Greece fire.

Now I have finally realized how dangerous a Greece fire is.

But so far, I’ve only seen China, Turkey and Greece.

Timmy: I'm Hungary,

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy: I know, I guess I'... read more