This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How the Germans bailed out Greece

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.



Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.



On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel...

Do you know why Germany will send their most unwanted prisoners to Greece?

Because whenever they send something to Greece, they'll never get it back.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece .

The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single l...

What's the capital of Greece?

About 5 euros.

Why don’t Macedonians like pizza?

Too much Greece.

French Fries aren't actually fried in France.

They're fried in Greece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Greek, A German and An Italian get stranded after a plane crash.

They wander for days until finally they see something in the distance. They approach and are found by some local tribesmen and are accused of trespassing their village. Immediately they are led in front of the local leader:

"I am in a good mood so I will let you go if you participate in a sma...

Why don't people in Athens wake up early?

Because dawn is tough on Greece

Which is the most slipperiest country in the world?

Greece

Shocking

Did you know in Greece they electrocute their yogurt

Yeah it was quite a cultural shock

I would make a joke about greece's debt but...

I dont think it'll pay off.

The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse.

You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.

People in Athens always have difficulty waking up

Dawn is tough on Greece.

(coworkers joke heard today)

A friend told me she is going on holiday to Athens. I told her not to take any cilit bang as its prohibited.

Her: why

Me: because its tough on Greece

A man in Ancient Greece tears a pair of his favorite tunics...

He brings them into the local tailor and sets them on the counter. The tailor looks at the tunics, then looks at the man, and says "Hey, Euripides?" The man looks at the tunics, then at the tailor, and says "Yeah, Eumenides?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

Why doesn’t Greece have executions with guns anymore?

Because bullets cost money.

Two Priests decided to go to Greece on vacation

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store
and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How I got be 98

A journalist crew comes to this 98 year old's house for an interview:

- So, tell us your secret?

- Well, one time while on holiday in Greece I got so wasted that I took this Italian guy behind the bar and gave him a blow job.

- And that's how you got to live to 98 years??? ...

Why is Europe like a Frying Pan?

Because it has Greece on the bottom...

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

What would Zeus’s car be called?

Greece Lightning

Did you know that in ancient Greece, Hippasus was exiled for discovering that some numbers could not be described with simple whole numbers or fractions?

How irrational.

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.

The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"

The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

Why is Greek food so fatty?

Greece.

How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

With a crowbar.

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece?

That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.

What do you do with a country that has a lot of fiction?

Call it Greece.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel visits Greece. On her way through customs she gets stopped by an officer

'Nationality?' He asks

'German' she replies

'Occupation?'

'No, just visiting'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.
...

Why did Rome Fall?

Because it slipped on some Greece.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

What's the capital of Greece? (x-post from /r/MeanJokes)

About €10.

DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person.

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

What is this the difference between America and Greece?

15 years.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.