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A black man, an Irish guy, a Jew and a Greek guy die and go to heaven.

When they get to heaven, St. Peter says “All of you will go through a test of temptation, if you pass the test, you can come back to life”. The four men agree and begin their test.

It involves them walking down a street with multiple forms of temptation on the sides.

As they’re walki...

I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

It has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held ...

I've been told I have the body of a Greek God.

Too bad it's Dionysus

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A Young Greek Woman Marries

she is a virgin, and her mother is concerned. as they are getting her gown on, her mother warns her that her husband will probably ask her to "turn over" for sex, and to NEVER turn over. Innocently, she agrees.

Thanks to generous gifts from their family in Europe, they honeymoon in Majorca,...

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A Greek mother gave her daughter marriage advice.

On her daughter's wedding day, she said, "We're Greek. You're father's Greek and your husband is Greek. So you need to listen to me."

"Okay, mama," said the bride.

"When you have sex, he's going to want you to turn over. Don't. Never turn over."

The daughter agreed and said she...

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Lazza The Greek

Lazza The Greek was lamenting his life to his friends one day - I have amassed great wealth and done many things of greatest for my community, he said.


See that school and university downtown - I build those places! But do people call me Lazza the Builder? No!

Look at those ...

An American, a Brit, a Canadian, a Dane, an Ethiopian, a Frenchman, a Greek, a Haitian, an Irishman, a Jew, a Kiwi, a Lithuanian, a Mongolian, a Nigerian, an Omani, a Peruvian, a Qatari, a Roman, a Scotsman, a Uruguayan, a Venezuelan, a Western Saharan, a xenophobe and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar

The bartender says
"Im sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai"

What do you get when you cross a joke with a celestial Greek dairy product?

Apollo cheese for the punchline.

Why are a bunch of horses being sold better than the Greeks?

At least they have a stable economy.

A Greek boyfriend

A chaste, young reverend's daughter marries a strapping young Greek man. Her conservative mother worries, and, considering herself a bit more worldly than her daughter, was worried about their...nightly nuptials.

"So, um," starts the mother, "Have you two been...you know...having intimate rel...

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A Greek and an Indian were drinking tea one day, discussing who had the superior culture...

The Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".

Arching his eyebrows the Indian replies, "We have the Taj Mahal.”

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Indian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we invented the number 0.”

And so on and so on unt...

A Greek philosopher’s lecture on knowledge was really confusing and frustrating.

Episteme off.

Did you hear about the Greek bricklayer who lied a lot?

He would always con Crete.

Joke from my neighbour, Slade.

A Portuguese, a Greek, and a Spaniard go into a brothel. Who pays?

Germany.

An ancient Greek professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended.

The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor....

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

What do you call a Greek primordial god who can't swim?

Titanic

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A Catholic girl is set to marry a man from Greece...

The night before the wedding, the girl’s mother takes her aside and warns her about the reputation Greek men have:

“Now you listen to me, Sunshine- those Greeks like their sex... *a certain way*, if you catch my drift. If he ever tells you to flip over so he can have you another way, I want ...

Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades?

He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles’ heel but have you heard of Bophades’ nuts?

What was the name of the Greek hero that was punished by the gods for gluttony?

Diabetes.

An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants

“Euripides?” says the tailor.

“Yeah, Eumenides?” replies the man.

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What does one say when he is imprisoned by an ancient Greek government?

Fuck the polis.

What’s a Greek urn?

About 200 Euro’s a week.

How do you separate the Greek men from the Greek Boys?

With a crowbar.

There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.

The river sticks

What was the true identity of the Greek Spider-Man?

Pita Parker

What did Dave Grohl say when someone stole his Greek takeout?

There goes my gyro!!!!!

My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue...

Completely pale, no arms.

Two Greek philosophers get into an argument...

Euclid: You've been a very good pupil this past year, Eubulides, but now it's time for you to pay the 50 drachma you owe me for all the philosophy I've taught you.

Eubulides pauses to think for a moment.

Eubulides: Hm, as much as I would love to pay you back, I'm afraid that's not po...

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I was told I was just like a Greek statue

I was happy until they clarified that they meant I am pale as fuck and have a small dick.

How did the ancient Greek rabbit move around at night?

He had a Hoplite.

What do Greek dogs eat?

Barklava

I ate some bad Greek food earlier today...

...and now I falafel.

An Italian politician invites his Greek politician friend over.

An Italian politician invites his Greek politician friend over for a visit. The Greek pulls up in front of an elegant manor house and is welcomed by the staff. He walks in through a foyer with marble floors and a huge marble staircase with ornamental banisters and a crystal chandelier. They walk thr...

Why do greeks fly buisness?

Because they dont have an economy

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A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York,

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and - bingo! - she took the seat right beside him.
"Hello", he blurted out, "Bus...

My friend says he has the body of a Greek God

I had to explain to him Buddha wasn't Greek

I'm half filipino and half greek so what am I?

I'm a freek

What is Samuel L. Jacksons favorite Greek play?

Oedipus Rex

A Roman man ran over a Greek man...

The Roman man hurried over to the Greek man and asked, “Are you alright?”

The Greek man replied, “Olive.”

If you eat too much at a Greek restaurant

You might felafel

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I went to a prostitute and asked her if I could do her Greek style. "Sure" she said

So I fucked her in the ass and left without paying.

A man owned a Greek island, but there so much paperwork that came with tourists travelling there that he always had to sit inside working. Eventually, he decided to pass the island on to someone else. This way he could spend more time outside and focus on his real passion - maths.

So, he signed over Kos and got a tan instead.

A Greek guy walks into a tavern and sees two sea monsters arguing

"What's up with them?" he asks.

"Oh, that's scylla and charybdis."

"Are they usually this angry?"

"Yeah, but they're not violent. Just don't get between them."

CUT TO THE PAST

Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and liking the sphere, accepts it.

He presses the Sphere and to his bewilderment, he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades.
...

Why don't Greek gods insult people anymore?

Because Icarus already had the sickest burn.

When you slap a greek statue's ass...

You know you've hit rock bottom.

What does a Mexican and a Greek have in common?

When people see them they say Hey zeus.

In Greek mythology, Chiron was known for his knowledge and skill with medicine

One could even call him the Centaur for Disease Control.

He was a big believer in herd immunity.

How does Captain Hook warm his Greek food?

Pita Pan

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

How do you call Greek gentleman with 1000 lovers?

-Shepherd

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Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth?

Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard.

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What did Samuel L Jackson Say When He Was Asked To Name the First Greek Myth He Was Taught in School.

Oedipus Was the First Motherfucker!

The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool..

Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..

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An old Greek man and an old Italian man are arguing.

The Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!"

The Italian says "We realized the challenge ...

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A Greek, a Jew, and an Irishman are accidentally killed by a bus.

An angel descends and tells them "Actually, there's been a mistake. It wasn't your time to die. We will let you come back to life, but you must promise to renounce your vices."

To the Irishman, the angel said, "Your vice is drinking too much. You can come back to life as long as you stop drin...

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Greek mythology in 3 words

Zeus got horny

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TIL that Greeks invented sex

But Italians introduced it to women.

What's the name of a lackluster Greek philosopher?

Mediocrates

My dad is Greek and my mom is French

That makes me a Freek

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece .

The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single l...

What is a Pirate's Favorite Greek Myth?

Jason and the Arrrghonauts

What do you call a greek goddess with no aim?

Artemiss

Why was the Greek God Apollo named that?

Because he was a chicken

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An Italian and a Greek get in a fight over sex

Greek: the Greeks invented sex centuries before the Italians!

Italians: maybe so but we improved on it by introducing it to women!

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

My mom's french and my dad's greek

Too bad I'm a freek

What do you call a Greek god who wants to lose weight?

A Diety

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Did you hear about Greek porn?

They can't do money shots anymore

I told a girl I met online I had the body of a Greek God...

I didn't let her know the God in question was Hephaestus...