Did you know that the Netherlands imports all oatmeal to avoid copyright laws?

Because if they produced locally they would be making Holland Oats.

Whenever I eat eggs benedict it reminds me of the time I lived in the Netherlands...

Those were my Holland days...

After a large drive towards renewable energy... America has declared they will now invade the Netherlands...

To steal their wind!

The smartest man in Belgium moves to the Netherlands

Both countries had a significant drop in their average IQs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the Netherlands is almost out of toilet paper and weed?

People bought them all for shits and giggles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So the Belgians are pissed...

The king of Belgium is fed up that the Dutch make jokes about how dumb Belgians are. He goes to King Willem, of the Netherlands, and demands that the Dutch should do something stupid, so that the Belgians can laugh at the Dutch. Willem wants to maintain good relations so he says; ‟meh, we'll build a...

Why is the Dutch fly exhausted?

Because it Netherlands.

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

"A bull is standing at the border of the Netherlands and Belgium, in which country gives it his milk?"

Pineapples are the best fruit, but banano is the best meme coin

Even if Netherlands might go underwater due to climate change

The people might still get high enough to go through this challenge.

\*pun very intended

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dumb American is on a vacation to the Netherlands

When he came a cross a Dutch man in the bar who asked him if he knew what logic was. No said the American. So the Dutch man asked if he had a fish bowl. Yes said the American. So the Dutch man asked:
So if you have a fish bowl you probably also have a fish?

Yes said the American

So ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An english and an american guy drive through the netherlands

While both guys enjoying a nice drive, the police pops up behind them and activivates their siren.

The englisman behind the wheel pulls over and opens his window. The policeofficer looks closely at both men and says 'We are looking for two group rapists'

The englishman closes his wind...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A virgin man and a virgin woman...

A virgin man and a virgin woman who never saw anyone from the other sex naked before, were riding on a camel through the desert. Then in the middle of the desert, the camel stopped walking and was tired, it was hungry, thirsty and there wasn’t any water or food. They waited for a while, but the came...

If I were from the Netherlands, I'd start getting worried about global warming...

After all, Nomorelands is not that cool of a name

I fondly remember the good times of living in the Netherlands eating egg yolk based sauces

... ahhhh the hollandaise

The Netherlands....

50% Sea 50% Weed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Belgians walk into a police precinct

and say: "Our Dutch friend is missing. Please help us."

Officer: "Can you describe him to me?"

Belgians: "He's tall, has blue eyes and blonde hair"

Officer: "You described half the Netherlands with this. You got anything more specific?"

Belgians: "Yeah, he has an extra p...

What do you call a pilot from the Netherlands?

The flying Dutchman

Once there was a foster kid named Jumprope

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

Two friends, Tom and Dave, were discussing about the new Spider-man movie...

Dave: “Did u hear that Peter Parker gets arrested in the Netherlands in Spider-man Homecoming?”

Tom: “Really, I thought he got arrested in Australia!”

Dave: “No, Tom, Holland!”

Who decided to call it pubic region and not

Netherlands

What's higher than the sky and lower than the sea?

The Netherlands.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A close call.

Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

Why will Belgium go to war?

*This is a joke my dutch grandfather told me, the dutch make fun of Belgians*

Why will Belgium go to war with the Netherlands in 50 years?

Because that's when they understand the Belgian jokes they make about them.

Why will Belgium go to war with France in 50 years?

They ...

The European conference

Centuries ago, a conference took place in Europe. The issue was finding a solution to flood control in The Netherlands. Now, the English delegate was a blatant racist against the Dutch, and couldn't care less about their lives. Each of the delegates from all around Europe were asked for their ideas,...

U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands.

Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners.

I hear Metallica have an upcoming show in Amsterdam

"We're off to Nether-netherlands"

A Dutchman is driving in Belgium when he hits a Belgian car.

The Belgian whose car he hit was upset, as it was severely dented and the Dutchman was clearly at fault. But the Dutchman, unwilling to pay for the damages, managed to calm him down by explaining to him how to remove the dents: "Just blow into the exhaust, and the dents will pop out in no time". So ...

What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland?

It Netherlands.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.