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Since is translate your national jokes day here it goes: a romanian one.

Bula is at school, the teacher enters the class and starts calling pupils to see who is missing:







Behind the class George starts laughing.

"What's so funny George?"

"Miss! If you chan...

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Great Romanian joke

A bit on the long side, but stick with it, it's worth it!

The bunny rabbit wakes up one Sunday morning with an extreme craving to eat pancakes. This desire cannot wait and the forest diner is closed on Sundays, so he decides to hop all the way to the grocery store (25 min away). He gets there...

The German, the gypsy and the Romanian are on a plane

Suddenly, the German throws a silver spoon out the window. The others ask him why he did that, to which the German replies:

'Where I come from, that's what we have the most of.'

After that, the gypsy throws a gold spoon out the window. The others asks him why he did that, to which he r...

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The independent and autonomous Hungarian

(This is a Romanian joke, but I'll try to explain the context and translate it for you because I think is a great joke worth knowing

**Context:** In Romania there is a region called Transylvania, which represents 1/3 of the country that was under Hungarian occupation for about 50 years. Now i...

Why did the Romanian stop reading?

They wanted to give the Bucharest

There was a man in Romania who drove a train for a living...

There was a man in Romania who drove a train for a living.

He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child.

He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash.

He made it...

Old Romanian Joke: How do you stop an Albanian Tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.


Why do policemen(considered idiots) walk in groups of 3?
One knows how to read, one knows how to write and the other one oversees the intellectuals.

A Romanian and a Gypsy were next-door neighbors.

Everything about their houses, from the tiles on the roofs to the furniture inside to the planks in their fences, was identical.

One day, while talking over the fence, the Romanian says he's thinking of selling his house for $100k. The Gypsy stops to think for a few seconds before saying he'l...

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Romanian joke: A cannibal and his son

Romanian joke: A cannibal and his son go hunting for human meat. They come across a clearing and see a super hot chick bending down to get water from a river. The kid goes "dad, are we gonna eat her?" Cannibal dad goes "fuck no, we're taking her home. We'll eat your mother."

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Series of Romanian Alinuta jokes.

Sup ya'll! I've translated some dark Romanian jokes about a girl named Alinuta. Any other Romanians who know more please share!

-Brother: Mom, Alinuta hung herself in the basement!
Mom goes and looks to find nothing.
Mom: She's not there.
Brother: April fools! She's in the attic! ...

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A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree.

A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder.

The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it.

Another caterpillar gets on the Roman...

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an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian....

an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodia...

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A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara [NSFW]

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara on a camel. On the third day, the camel dies with little warning. As they dust themselves off, the nun and priest appraise their situation. After a long silence, the priest states:
'Well, sister, this looks to be pretty serious.'
'I know, father. As a...

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One of my faves

Two old Romanian women were shopping in an outdoor vegetable market. One of them picks up a couple of potatoes and says, "These remind me of my husband's testicles."

The other lady leans over for a look and says, "Oh, that big?" And the first lady shakes her head and says, "No, that dirty!"

So, God goes to different countries asking if they're interested in his commandments.

First, he tried the French. He said:
"Would you be interested in commandments?"
The French replied "what's in 'em?"
God said "Well, one is that you shall not commit adultery"
and the French said "no thanks."

Next God tried the Romanians. He asked if they would be interested ...

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A guy and his friend buy ice cream.

The guy says "I don't want to be racist, but this ice tastes great!"

The friend replies "That is not racist."

"That's what I said. Fucking Romanians, they never listen."

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A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

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Flies in vine glasses

A group of people from different nationalities went to a restaurant and each ordered a glass of wine. When they received their drinks, they found out every glass had a fly in it.

The swede demanded new wine in the same glass.

The brit demanded new wine in a new glass.

The finn...

How does every Romanian recipe start?

1. Steal a chicken.

From an old family friend.

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Politically Correct Nightclub

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurkha, a Lativan, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an America, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Isreali, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a S...

With the attention given to Putin for driving the truck over the bridge in Crimea; What driving licence class does Putin needs to drive Russia?


Sorry for any grammar mistakes from a Romanian who is nervously waiting for a bridge over the Black Sea to Romania.

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Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

Communism in Romania.

A homeless child walks into a Romanian store that has relatively empty shelves. He asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, if you don't mind, do you have any bread you can spare for someone hungry?"

The shopkeeper responds, "Sorry man, in this store we don't have any cheese. Next door is where they ...

Secret Recipe

Mishu and Yanku both operate Romanian restaurants opposite one another. Yanku is doing very well, but Mishu is doing very poorly.

One day, Mishu mans up and walk over to Yanku, asking him "Tell me, my friend, how come you are so successful? What's the secret recipe you use for the Romanian Ke...

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